How to deal with the CF who has been eating my granola

[JoyceTempleSavage]

Have recently moved into a larger office with about 50 new colleagues.

I have a tub of granola which I filled up last week and it’s now nearly empty. I’ve had it on my yoghurt maybe four times and it’s kept in the cereal cupboard inbetween times in its own special tub.

WIBU to top it up with 90% granola 10% used cat litter and keep my own granola in my locker instead?

Use bird seed. Toss in a few mealworms.

100% used cat litter, definitely.

There was an article on Radio 1 a while back, about people stealing lunches. I was so heartbroken for a night time security guard who had brought in a roast dinner, only for a colleague to like the look of it and scoff it.

Some people are such CFers. let them have the rabbit muesli and linseed.

Please please please put the cat litter in! Maybe some powdered laxative as well if there is such a thing! No one will be stealing your food again!

I think mixing in chilli flakes and mustard seeds is the way to go. I might also go to the trouble of baking some oats with salt and oil to add crunch to the mix.

I bring stuff in with me on my office days. You can't keep anything in our communal fridge or cupboards without it being nicked.

The best thing was when I'd bought a brand new and unopened bag of salad to go with my lunch. Got to my break and some fucker had opened it and taken half!

I did have a really awkward moment early one morning in my old firm, when I bumped into the MD who was stealing my - labelled - milk. He knew I'd seen him but didn't realise it was mine, so made a comment about hoping that he'd get away with it as it was just a splash. Unfortunately for him his splash was more of a hefty glug and I didn't have enough left for my porridge. He didn't apologise though! Clearly the Exec are a cut above

I recall a while back, another thread about lunch thieves had a poster who got her Indian MIL to make extra spicy pakora as bait for the thief.

I forget whether it involved a MNer or was just referenced on MN, but I remember reading about a case where somebody was a big fan of extremely spicy food and prepared their lunch accordingly. Somebody at their workplace stole it from the communal fridge and had a very adverse reaction immediately after eating it. CF food thief put in an official complaint and the genuine lunch-owner was actually threatened with disciplinary action and/or the sack for 'poisoning a colleague'. Unless I'm conflating two separate stories, I think the man who stole it was the partner of the head of HR or similar - but justice was done eventually.

Is it clear it's yours? In my old workplace, anything in the communal area was for everyone unless you put your name on it.

(well, hopefully not dead but she did steal my sandwich)
@HeidiHoNeighbour

Here lies Sandra, dead from greed
She took a lunch she did not need
She wanted oozing bacon fat,
but OD'd on meds, her heart went splat
No need for tears or violins:
Lunch theft is a mortal sin.

It’s a bit boring but I’d just put a note telling them to stop stealing your food.

Heidi, whoa! I can't believe someone was stupid enough to eat your lunch after you labelled it medicated.

Not only that but also nasty enough. She must have realised that, along with depriving a colleague of her lunch, she was also preventing her from being able to take medication which, one would reasonably assume, is not just there for added texture and is actually essential.

Someone used to steal my sugar for my coffee at work so I mixed in a few teaspoons of salt... funnily enough the thieving soon stopped!

Petty, perhaps.

No, @MsScribbles - the word you are looking for is "inspired".

@messolini9.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll I read that too, or one identical on ask a manager. www.askamanager.org/2016/07/a-coworker-stole-my-spicy-food-got-sick-and-is-blaming-me.html

OP, you should wrap your cereal box in packing tape, the stuff that's yellow and black like a crime scene

www.amazon.co.uk/Refrigerator-lock-fridge-locker-safe/dp/B00BYPHTQ8?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

^^ these work really well. Our (supposedly unknown, but we all knew) office fridge thief actually complained when a few of these showed up in our communal fridge. It made the fridge look 'unfriendly', don't you know.

....Now she's been taken to the houses of the holy
After pilfering the bacon and laced guacamole

Oh, Heidi, that is perfect justice! What better way of being 100% proved wrong than by having the cast-iron evidence of Exhibit A splattered violently all over your desk (courtesy of a larcenist with a less-than-cast-iron stomach)?!

Put a load of linseed in it along with a few spoons of laxose - with a bit of luck they'll be running to the toilet.

And it would serve them right!

Where I work, the fridge is chock-full of packed lunches and I've never heard of anyone eating lunch that's not theirs.

They must be an exceedingly righteous bunch.

Our (supposedly unknown, but we all knew) office fridge thief actually complained when a few of these showed up in our communal fridge. It made the fridge look 'unfriendly', don't you know.

For some reason, that instantly brings to my mind the time where Father Ted went to great lengths before drawing out the winning ticket in the raffle to win a car to explain to everybody that it isn't unheard of for the organisers to win, so nobody should be surprised if by chance it happens again now

Not food, but I bought a packet of small coffee filters (which are difficult to get round my way) and left them with my filter coffee. Someone took half of them. WTF?

Maybe some powdered laxative

I'd be really careful about putting something like that in - you could be done for administering a noxious substance with intent. Same with used cat litter.

However, if you make up a muesli with non-human foods as a decoy, I want footage of the result. Personally, it would be a mix of guinea pig muesli, unused cat litter, some cheapo cat or dog kibble (if there's some in the reduced section, all the betterer), unpopped popcorn from the bottom of the bag, raisins baked to death in the oven and a couple of tablespoons of salt.

HeidiHoNeighbour Now there is karma in action. Sweet.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll presumably she thought that was a lie to deter theft. Oh how wrong she was.

Someone at my workplace used to regularly help herself to my coffee and one day I caught her and shouted at her to not take what didn't belong to her. Cheeky cow must have reported me because I got a warning from management about it.
Yes, I know it's wrong to shout at colleagues but actually I'm still glad I did it.

I’d go with chilli powder. It is a foodstuff after all...

@TheSecondMrsAshwell the individual preparing the food can't get done for poisoning a colleague if they were purely making foodstuff for themselves as they had a "bit of a blockage" and a colleague stole it and ate it, with unpleasant results.

Same as if I were to swallow the washing up liquid in work and then complain, or the CF who ate someone's medicated lunch upthread.

If it's in the communal cupboard, I would guess they don't realise it's yours.