DD says she hates me

[Alte]

My DD recently turned 15. For the last 3-4 years she’s been saying she hates me and asking why I can’t be like her friends parents (same with DH). Her 12yo sister started saying it recently as well. The only reasons we can get out of them are that we’re too posh, too strict and too old. We’re in our late 40s, and we’re not really posh but compared to their friends we would be. I wouldn’t say we’re strict, we just don’t allow piercings etc and we push them to do well in school. DD1 told us this morning that we gave her anxiety and depression by putting too much pressure on her, but we just want her to do well in school. AIBU to wonder what I’ve done wrong? And does anyone know what I can do?

I expect her to achieve all A-B as I know she can do it if she tries.*
I think this is where you are going wrong. You can expect her to work hard but you chat expect her to get certain grades. Also you have to let her fail or succeed for herself. If she goes to university she will have to manage her own work anyway. Pushing her will be counter productivw too. and could stop her working at all or could make her feel a failure if she doesn't get what you think she should.
Just envouage her to revise and leave her to it. Honestly her mental health is worth more than a few A grades that in a few years time she will have forgotten anyway.