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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP too friendly with clients

72 replies

Harrysmamabear · 14/01/2020 22:09

First post, please be kind. DP is a domestic builder. Been together 5 years (I was a client when we first met, maybe this is relevant...) I think he is too friendly with his clients. 90% of the time he deals with the lady of the house, most of whom are well off and well groomed women due to the areas he works in. Two years ago, I discovered him having an affair (the wife of a cousin of his ex wife). In a nutshell he begged for forgiveness, and we tried again. But I am increasingly p**d off by the amount of texting that goes on late into the evening with some of his female customers. Is it reasonable for them to be texting so regularly and until almost midnight? He’s their builder, not their best friend or agony aunt! And I found out that he’s been secretly doing free jobs for one of them, a much younger woman. He lied about where he was going when he went there (usually Sunday’s and evenings) and even about who she was (saying she was an existing clients daughter). He swears nothing is going on and thinks I am being unreasonable when I said I don’t want him working for her anymore. He said he works with these ladies in their homes and becomes friends with them, so he sees nothing wrong in them chatting by WhatsApp even after the jobs have finished. I’m 48 years old, so maybe I’m out of touch with how things are now....is it normal/reasonable to have call these friendly chats with your clients during evenings and weekends? And no, they’re not work related texts

OP posts:
KarmaStar · 22/01/2020 11:07

Hi op
What a horrible person he is.
Still,karma got her own back pretty swiftly!😀
Good luck going forward,I hope you meet a lovely man soon.Flowers

Thestrangestthing · 22/01/2020 11:10

Not a fucking chance I would be putting up with that shit.

ChristmasSweet · 22/01/2020 11:20

Did you by any chance get together with him while he was with his ex wife?

You knew what he was like either way once he started an affair. Come on. Either leave him or put up with it.

If you do leave him though, it would be funny to put up on FB on one of those dodgy builders sites that 'he will most likely sleep with your wife if hired' and then share some texts he's sent to some of those wives, with names blocked out of course.

But definitely divorce. Or you're just a fool really.

Getitwright · 22/01/2020 11:24

You’re an ex client, some 17 years younger than him. He sounds like an old Leopard, still trading on his spots. However, in this instance, you are quite a bit younger, the sex with him is perhaps not fulfilling, and you have caught him out twice now by the sounds of it. So.........dump the old goat, you owe him little. It’s not going to get any better, even by the time he needs a Zimmer. You don’t want to be left stuck doing the chores for an unfaithful, ungrateful old lecher. But take stock of the finances first, don’t go without as much as you can get/take😁

Harrysmamabear · 22/01/2020 15:35

Me neither now that I know

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Harrysmamabear · 22/01/2020 15:41

Christmassweet, he told me they were separated, separate lives and in final stages of their divorce, but who knows....and I love your idea, “Dickhead Construction, satisfaction guaranteed for your wife” (or maybe not)! I found some gross dick pics he’d been sending out I could use those for his portfolio Wink

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Thestrangestthing · 22/01/2020 15:46

What goes around comes around I suppose.

Harrysmamabear · 22/01/2020 15:46

Getitright thankfully I didn’t marry him, Though his money has all gone on prostitutes and the online scanner, and as for sex...pah! his shrivelled up old willy is not up to it anymore. He’s all but dumped now, I have the pleasure of watching him squirm this weekend when he finds out what I know and why he’s being dumped

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Ellisandra · 22/01/2020 15:47

I’m sniggering at him losing money to the hairy handed scammer! Serves him right.

Harrysmamabear · 22/01/2020 15:50

Karmastar thank you 💐 I hope Karma continues her good work, but I certainly don’t want another man at the moment

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Harrysmamabear · 22/01/2020 15:51

Thestrangestthing me neither, but he gaslighted next so well I wanted to be sure of the facts. He’s someone else’s problem now

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Harrysmamabear · 22/01/2020 15:55

wagglewiggle thanks, my thoughts too

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draughtycatflap · 22/01/2020 15:55

Does he install catflaps?

AryaStarkWolf · 22/01/2020 15:55

Ugh get rid, he sounds like a disrespectful sleaze

Babyg1995 · 22/01/2020 15:56

Get rid he's clearly cheating .
Why else would he be doing work for free .

Harrysmamabear · 22/01/2020 15:58

Ellisandra me too, after I’d cried my eyes out I laughed so hard, it was quite satisfying thinking of him talking dirty with a big hairy man 🤣

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Harrysmamabear · 22/01/2020 16:03

Draughtycatflap oh yes he put one of those in for her too (probably comes in useful for the married ones too, he can crawl in and out for extras).

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lookingatthepast · 22/01/2020 16:03

Sounds so far fetched it's unreal

Harrysmamabear · 22/01/2020 16:09

lookingathepast you couldn’t make it up! If I hadn’t seen what I saw I would never have believed it, and neither would anybody who know him in RL
Glad I copied everything I saw

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Harrysmamabear · 22/01/2020 16:12

Cakeandcustard28 thank you 💐

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Harrysmamabear · 22/01/2020 16:17

Thehumansaredefinitelydead totally agree, and I told him not to. Only liars who are desperate to be believed would say something like that. Lowest of the low

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Hepsibar · 22/01/2020 16:20

This is like a carry on film ..."Carry on Building" or something!

Let your heart concrete over and start preparing the way, before you do anything to make sure you know where bank accounts and cash etc is squirrelled away, where important documents are. Find yourself a good solicitor.

Begin a new life and leave him to his sexual misfunctional life!

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