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AIBU?

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Original poster

Breeder refusing to give me puppy or my money back

506 replies

Ownerofsmallpeople · 14/01/2020 18:30

I’m not sure if I’m being u or where I stand on this.
DH and I have decided to get a puppy early feb. We have a 2 year old and another on the way but not due til summer. We have wanted a dog for ages and decided now is the best time as my DC has just started full time nursery, I’m not in work so I have plenty of time during the day to train and spend time with the puppy. For a few weeks after I give birth DH will be taking over walks but I will still be doing the training during the day and newborn will be joining me on school runs etc so my routine doesn’t change really. I’ve raised puppies before so I know what it entails and also obviously had a newborn before so I don’t see any great issues.
We went to view some puppies a couple of weeks ago with DC, chose a specific puppy, breeder was happy discussing diet and training etc and then asked for a deposit. I paid the deposit via bank transfer the next morning. She has now text me last night and said she had one of her friends (who is also friends with me via Facebook) to have a look at my Facebook profile and show her what was on it and she has seen that I’m pregnant and now is telling me I’m “deceitful” and she “can’t trust me with her puppy”. I didn’t think it was a huge deal and I was required to tell her I was pregnant? Obviously the puppy is going to a good home with us so I don’t see an issue. I completely understand wanting your puppies to go to a good home that will look after them but I wouldn’t have thought having a baby 6 months after purchasing a puppy was a big deal.
The conversation went on for about 20 minutes of her basically patronising me and saying that in 6 months I would be calling her to take the dog back. I eventually said to her to either tell me she’s happy for the puppy to come to us or she’s not happy for the puppy to come to us, she replied “I’ll speak to my partner and decide”. I have not heard from her yet so I text her again saying she needs to let me know or send me my money back, she has read the message and ignored it.
Am I in the wrong? What would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Ownerofsmallpeople · 15/01/2020 09:18

Not going to be replying on this thread anymore as obviously my toddlers childcare has become the main focus. The main post was asking if I or the “breeder” were being unreasonable regarding the puppy sale as I wasn’t sure if I had been scammed.

OP posts:
GiveHerHellFromUs · 15/01/2020 09:20

Just reiterating that you need to report her as she's not a 'breeder' she's a puppy farmer.

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 15/01/2020 09:37

she doesn’t know what she is doing and is trying to just make a profit. Run away.

Erm I think it's the exact opposite actually. She doesn't want her puppies going to anyone unsuitable which is fair enough and is putting that before money.
I'm pretty sure you will be getting your deposit back soon enough OP, your thread title is misleading she hasn't 'refused' your deposit back at all, she is just deciding whether or not to give you the puppy.

NoFucksImAQueen · 15/01/2020 09:39

Sorry people have made you want to leave the thread op. It's a shame as I would have liked to known the outcome of this. FWIW when we got our pup I had an 1year old, 2 year old and a 5 year old. He was a dream to train and I dont think it was the wrong time at all. Just because having a puppy and kids are both hard doesnt mean that people cant or dont handle it. It very much depends on the owner and the dog.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 15/01/2020 09:42

@NoFucksImAQueen was your dog from a reputable breeder with full health checks and a clear understanding of what breed the dot actually was, though? Because that makes a big difference.

You also weren't training a dog you didn't know while trying to look after a newborn.

zoobincan · 15/01/2020 09:58

So many judgemental people on this thread, her benefits has got absolutely nothing to do with the puppy

Of course they do. Puppies don’t cost nothing. The ongoing cost of dog ownership is huge.

NoFucksImAQueen · 15/01/2020 10:02

Give her- she will have a good 4-6 months to train the dog before baby arrives depending on when she is due as she just says summer. You are also assuming op doesn't know the breed and have knowledge but she has said they have had dogs before and hasnt mentioned what the breed is.
Yes and no in regard to your questions to me. my dog is a golden so hes easier than most but he was my 1st golden so I guess technically I didnt know the breed in-and-out. I did say though that its dependent on the dog and the owner.

No I didn't have a newborn but I would argue that a 1 and 2 year old are harder as they fight and move around and cause chaos while my newborns all just slept during day and couldnt move.

SusanneLinder · 15/01/2020 10:03

Well, I have 2 rescued dogs in my house that were adopted at 9/11 months old, because of the boisterous puppy stage and small children. Both had zero training and socialisation and it has taken a LOT of hard work and patience to get them to be lovely dogs they are. Common time for people to rehome dogs sadly. So, I wouldn't sell you a dog. She should return your deposit though.
The seller (I refuse to call her a breeder), is bloody irresponsible in letting her dog get caught by some random in the park. However at least she seems to care about her pups.

Straycatstrut · 15/01/2020 10:38

Wow what was she doing letting her dog out when in heat, running around the park?! now she's being all precious over the pups and what kind of home THEY are going to?

Insane. Get your money back.

Also I got a pup (springer spaniel) with a 2 & 6 year old. She's amazing, obviously demanding and hardwork, but we have loads of great adventures together and as a LP I need that company.

The first few weeks are the hardest nipping and toileting. But you know that - and if you get a good breed, they train easily and love to please.

alifelived · 15/01/2020 10:44

Christ almighty. A dog with two kids - revolutionary stuff. YANBU op. I hope you get your money back.

Sickofrain · 15/01/2020 10:47

Most good breeders wouldn't sell a pup to someone they didn't know, who hadn't said that a new baby was on the way. It's a big omission on your part and she doesn't know you well enough to know that you might be an exception to that rule.

She should return your deposit. Maybe she's busy today?

LochJessMonster · 15/01/2020 10:49

Just reiterating that you need to report her as she's not a 'breeder' she's a puppy farmer Posters throw the words 'puppy farmer' around too often. Shes not a puppy farmer, she is an irresponsible dog owner.

There is a big difference between a 'back yard breeder' - someone who (usually) knows nothing about breeding, does it for quick money or because they think their dog is so perfect there needs to be more. Its usually done at home. They may or may not do the correct health checks. Its not advisable to buy from a BYB - you won't end up with a breed standard healthy dog, but its unlikely to be really poorly (parvo for example).

A 'puppy farmer' on the other hand is the huge, illegal commercial mass production of puppies with extremely poor welfare conditions. Bitches are bred back to back, and the puppies shown in a fake home set up with a fake mum. No health checks, vet care etc, puppies and mum are likely to be extremely poorly and dumped/killed when no good. Think cages and cages stacked up in a barn, full of faeces etc.

Puppy mills are becoming more popular but they are not as popular as MN seem to think. Most puppies come from BYB.

Mummy232019 · 15/01/2020 11:13

@zoobincan Be realistic, her partner works if she couldn’t afford the extra cost she wouldn’t get the dog. I’d rather people spent benefits on animals and kids than drugs and alcohol (btw you literally just have to say you’re an alcoholic and turn up to your UC appointment drunk to get payments higher rate with no follow ups)

zoobincan · 15/01/2020 11:19

Be realistic, her partner works if she couldn’t afford the extra cost she wouldn’t get the dog.

I AM being realistic.

Here we have an OP who has bought a puppy when she is about to have a baby, not even from a reputable breeder and you are trying to tell me that despite those 2 stupid decisions, she has considers the financial aspect? Sure.

I’d rather people spent benefits on animals and kids than drugs and alcohol

That's a very simplistic a flawed view. It's not a one or the other situation. I would rather UC didn't pay people to stay at home and have their kid in full time nursery, but hey!

(btw you literally just have to say you’re an alcoholic and turn up to your UC appointment drunk to get payments higher rate with no follow ups)

Link?

Scarsthelot · 15/01/2020 11:28

Mummy232019 if OP considered the financial aspect of purchasing a puppy from health checked parents she would not buy the puppy. People with high incomes wouldnt because potential problems could cost thousands.

OP added that the dog was breed irresponsibly because she thought it would stop people saying that many breeders do this and they are responsible to do so.

This is not a situation where either party is acting responsibly. But she should get hee deposit back.

Skysblue · 15/01/2020 11:28

You know a puppy is much more work than a baby at first, right? As in howling throughout the night and pooing all over the indoor floors? It’s unusual to try to manage a newborn baby as well as a puppy (a shelter wouldn’t let you home a dog at that time) so I can understand her hesitation. She’s not being unreasonable to withhold the puppy but she should return the deposit asap. Perhaps she’s spent it and isn’t sure what to do? I do understand you didn’t want to tell her about an early stage pregnancy, sounds like it’s a misunderstanding, maybe try to think less about who is/not being reasonable and more see it as misunderstandings on both sides.

Jacqui75 · 15/01/2020 11:42

I dont think it is the breeders right to say you are not getting a puppy because you will have a baby in 6 months and yes people do give dogs back or they end up in shelters because of new babies but they end up there for lots of other reasons too. You sound like you have it all worked out and i have a 14 month old GSD and an eight year old who is non verbal autistic and it is hard but the puppy can go for walks with you. I would demand my money back and go to someone else

Ferretyone · 15/01/2020 11:43

@Ownerofsmallpeople

Do not just threaten "Small Claims" - get it started. The first step is to send a "letter before action" [a letter - not e-mail] setting out the steps so far. Visited - saw puppies - agreed to buy specific puppy on date - paid deposit. Seller breached contract and refused to sell puppy of return deposit. Allow seller 7 days in which to return money or you will go to small claims court. Do not get into any arguments with seller. Keep any correspondence and after 7 days open a money-claim on line with the Small Claims Court [costs £17 if I recall]. The court will help you. There is a choice [defendant's option] to go to court or do it "on papers". Do not fail to attend if needed and do not miss deadlines. The process is not unduly tedios

hellsbellsmelons · 15/01/2020 11:52

It could be a scam.
And as someone who is not actually a breeder, she is being very over weird about this.
I do agree, that a puppy and a toddler and a new born are not the best combination.
But that is up to you and your family to decide.
No-one else.
But get a text over to her today.
'I have not heard from you. If I do not hear back by tomorrow then I will be filing a claim with the courts to get my deposit refunded. So please advise your decision and reimburse me if you decide you do not want me to have the puppy, which is totally your decision but you cannot keep my deposit as well.'

Original poster
Ownerofsmallpeople · 15/01/2020 12:06

She has just replied to my message from yesterday saying she will refund “when she has time” so I will give her til the morning.

OP posts:
PickwickThePlockingDodo · 15/01/2020 12:22

Christ almighty. A dog with two kids - revolutionary stuff.

It's not though is it? It's a puppy with a toddler and a newborn!
Anyway the mutual friend obviously didn't think it was a good idea which is why she informed the puppy's 'breeder'.

EvilPea · 15/01/2020 12:27

I can’t blame her. A puppy will still be having accidents as your new borns crawling. But she should have talked to you before getting all arsey. She sounds a decent breeder to check you out though.

I know you’ve done both before, but I think your adding unnecessarily to your work load. And you’ve not done it with THIS baby and THIS puppy. Some are easier than others. There’s a reason rescues are full of 6 -24 month old dogs and there’s a reason you wouldn’t be able to adopt from a rescue.

I’m sorry, as someone desperate for a dog. I get it, but I think on the whole it’s for the best. Just shit timing.

Lisbon67 · 15/01/2020 12:28

What breed is it and if dont give you deposit back as she is the one that as decide your not right also bloody put on facebook you feel you are been scammed

Wolfiefan · 15/01/2020 13:10

She isn’t a decent breeder. She’s a pet owner who let her pet get pregnant “by accident” then sold the puppies.
Odd you seem more worried about your cash than that. In future find a proper breeder or rescue.

GabsAlot · 15/01/2020 13:12

Dont wait too long it takes 30 seconds to transfer money-if she doesnt say youre taking her to small claims court