Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Breeder refusing to give me puppy or my money back

506 replies

Ownerofsmallpeople · 14/01/2020 18:30

I’m not sure if I’m being u or where I stand on this.
DH and I have decided to get a puppy early feb. We have a 2 year old and another on the way but not due til summer. We have wanted a dog for ages and decided now is the best time as my DC has just started full time nursery, I’m not in work so I have plenty of time during the day to train and spend time with the puppy. For a few weeks after I give birth DH will be taking over walks but I will still be doing the training during the day and newborn will be joining me on school runs etc so my routine doesn’t change really. I’ve raised puppies before so I know what it entails and also obviously had a newborn before so I don’t see any great issues.
We went to view some puppies a couple of weeks ago with DC, chose a specific puppy, breeder was happy discussing diet and training etc and then asked for a deposit. I paid the deposit via bank transfer the next morning. She has now text me last night and said she had one of her friends (who is also friends with me via Facebook) to have a look at my Facebook profile and show her what was on it and she has seen that I’m pregnant and now is telling me I’m “deceitful” and she “can’t trust me with her puppy”. I didn’t think it was a huge deal and I was required to tell her I was pregnant? Obviously the puppy is going to a good home with us so I don’t see an issue. I completely understand wanting your puppies to go to a good home that will look after them but I wouldn’t have thought having a baby 6 months after purchasing a puppy was a big deal.
The conversation went on for about 20 minutes of her basically patronising me and saying that in 6 months I would be calling her to take the dog back. I eventually said to her to either tell me she’s happy for the puppy to come to us or she’s not happy for the puppy to come to us, she replied “I’ll speak to my partner and decide”. I have not heard from her yet so I text her again saying she needs to let me know or send me my money back, she has read the message and ignored it.
Am I in the wrong? What would you do?

OP posts:
Bluesheep8 · 15/01/2020 05:59

I think you should have your deposit back, but I do admire the fact she cares enough to be concerned where her puppies are going.

Agreed.

Scarsthelot · 15/01/2020 06:00

Why would you child go to full time nursery at 3, when you are at home?

Anyway, op, neither you or this women sound responsible dog owners.

She let her dog get pregnant by accident.

You think it's a good idea to buy a puppy in a situation where theres a very high chance of rehoming. A puppy that's parents havent been health tested and you are on a low income. What about insurance, vaccinations, worming etc.

What if this untested dog has a health condition, insurance (presuming you have it) wont pay out for?

I bloody love dogs. I had a 3 year old when I got pregnant with Dd. We have always had them. I currently have 2 dogs. The dogs and my (now older) kids adore eachother. No less than my dd adored the dog that was here when she was born.

This is a shockingly bad idea and I believe you have been drawn in because it was a cheaper way to purchase a puppy.

Both of you need to be responsible.

SimonJT · 15/01/2020 06:21

Why wouldn’t the child go to nursery?

Should stay at home parents also have to justify sending their children to school?

thejollyroger · 15/01/2020 06:24

SimonJT

Nobody is saying the child shouldn’t go to nursery. But as a personal opinion, sending a two year old full time when you don’t have to and have no other children at home is pretty far from what I would want for my own child. If the only reason you can have a puppy is because someone else is doing childcare for you, is that really in the best interests of anyone?

Scarsthelot · 15/01/2020 06:25

Unless you are prepared to home school, of course your child will go to school. Plus kids are 4/5 when they go.

But why would a child go to full time nursery while their mum stays at home?

And why would someone on a low inome choose to spend alot of their income on this. When the reason they are at home is to look after the child.

dottiedodah · 15/01/2020 06:33

I think to have a pup and a young baby together is a huge ask for anyone frankly .I get that you have had a pup and a young baby before ,but presumably not together!A baby and a tot is demanding ,throwing in a pup for good measure ,not the best idea in the world!

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/01/2020 06:39

What breed is the puppy? I also think that has a big bearing. My first dog come from people, who got a baby and puppy at the same time.

It sounds as if you are responsible owners. You may have issues though. What if your baby won’t let you put them down / has undiagnosed allergies or really bad colic and screams etc?

Sux2buthen · 15/01/2020 06:48

Op don't lower yourself to explaining the ins and outs of what you are doing for childcare. You don't owe anyone on here an explanation, nosey gits

sqirrelfriends · 15/01/2020 06:50

Is there a reason you don't work OP? I'm just baffled that you can afford to top up nursery to full time and not work while on universal credit.

I'm a bit jealous tbh, I would love to stay at home with DS so he doesn't have to go to nursery but I can't realistically afford it.

thejollyroger · 15/01/2020 06:50

Sux2buthen

Of course she doesn’t, but she has come online to ask people for their thoughts. Now she has them.

TopOftheNaughtyList · 15/01/2020 06:52

Instead of getting a puppy maybe you should find some work. If your DHs income is that low you need gov help to top up then why take on something that creates extra expense? Insurance, inoculations, food etc adds up, not to mention the expense that will come with the arrival of a new baby.

Scarsthelot · 15/01/2020 06:56

Op don't lower yourself to explaining the ins and outs of what you are doing for childcare. You don't owe anyone on here an explanation, nosey gits

Well actually, it's entirely relevant. Because getting funding for nursery while a parent is at home, means the family has a low income.

Low income plus puppy from a non health tested dogs = potentially ridiculously expensive.

If there is a reason OP cant work, that could be an even bigger issue regarding the care of the dog.

boatyardblues · 15/01/2020 07:05

In my own experience, my toddler really felt the loss of my exclusive attention when DS2 arrived as my time was split between him and the baby. You say you’ve had a baby before so know you can do it, but you haven’t experienced a demanding toddler and baby in combination. If I had to choose, I’d prioritise 1-2-1 time (when the baby sleeps) with my toddler over wrangling a new puppy. It’s such an important time for making sure your toddler still feels loved and is key to avoiding resentment towards the new sibling.

AgathaX · 15/01/2020 07:08

Good for the 'breeder' for not wanting her puppies to go to homes where there is a good chance that owners will not cope well or have enough time to devote to appropriate care and training of a dog. Even though she is clearly a crap dog owner for letting her bitch have an accidental pregnancy.

There is no reason as yet to assume you won't get your money back. Just be patient.

To the poster upthread who got a puppy when she was 6 months pregnant and had a 'trained' dog by the time the baby arrived 3 months later. Really?? I don't think so. Puppies are not trained by the time they are 5 or 6 months old. Proper training takes so much longer than that.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 15/01/2020 07:22

Claiming universal credit but can afford to pay for 2 and a half days nursery, not work, have a new baby and puppy?

Tell me the system isn't broken.

Anyway, there are strict rules in place now for breeding and selling so if she's not adhering to them you should report her.

Has she responded now?

JacquesHammer · 15/01/2020 07:29

OP: breeder is doing this
MN: she seems to be fairly reasonable
OP: oh well she isn’t actually a breeder.

It’s almost like a deliberate drip feed when things aren’t quite going your way.

Notmyfirstusername · 15/01/2020 07:57

For a universal credit funded place at 2, the OP's household income is less than £18k a year, and unless the OP has a disability, funding would be based on both parents working. I'm not sure how the OP has managed to somehow find extra money out of that in order to pay for full time childcare, but the system is definitely not generous.

I'm hopeful that someone with a disability so bad that they were unable to work and therefore qualify for funded childcare under UC would not be so naive as to think they can look after a baby, toddler and puppy at the same time, and if that is the scenario, then the chances of the puppy being rehomed is much higher than 50/50.

CakeandCustard28 · 15/01/2020 08:06

Your being naive. Puppies and newborns do not mix. She should however give you your money back.

Mummy232019 · 15/01/2020 08:28

So many judgemental people on this thread, her benefits has got absolutely nothing to do with the puppy and is really nobody’s business but dwp.

Op if she doesn’t say anything today go to small claims court

kb16 · 15/01/2020 08:34

My little boy was 6 months when we got our cocker spaniel puppy, it was fine and they are now the best of friends! My little boy is 16 months now and wouldn't be without his puppy x

namina · 15/01/2020 08:42

Completely off topic but why does your toddler go to nursery full time when your at home full time? 🙄

sonjadog · 15/01/2020 08:56

That has nothing whatsoever to do with the OP´s question. Just looking for a new way to give her a kicking, are you?

CakeandCustard28 · 15/01/2020 09:06

Completely off topic but why does your toddler go to nursery full time when your at home full time? *

Your right totally off topic and none of your business what people choose to do with their own children. How dare she put her child in nursery full time. The pure horror! 🙄

PepePig · 15/01/2020 09:08

Cake

It is relevant, actually. If OP's child is in nursery FT because she struggles then that is incredibly relevant to the thread.

Christmaspug · 15/01/2020 09:16

That’s how I ended up with my second dog
A family thought a puppy and a baby went well together
By the time dog was 18 months old he was free on Facebook
Luckily we knew the family as friends of friends ,so saved poor dog from ending up god knows where .

Swipe left for the next trending thread