To be hurt and upset by this message?

[Chestermay10]

NC for this as don’t want it linked to other posts.

I was sorting out some old phones to stick online and sell and I was clearing messages etc off them.
There was one my OH had sent a few months back to his mate saying
“Keep this between us mate, she’s pregnant”
His friend replied “Great news mate! So happy for you both”
And my OH put “Not really, don’t want any more kids”

Now what he’s written isn’t what upset me...we had decided together that we didn’t want any more children and that I’d have a termination. It was something I really struggled with at the time and it’s taken me quite a while to get over. We decided at the time that we didn’t want ANYONE to know. I’d have been really upset if it had somehow got back to any of our DC. He completely agreed with this.

So AIBU to be upset that he told his friend in a text message? Probably had a conversation afterwards with him about it and I was never aware.
I’ve seen his friend and his friends wife quite a few times since and I feel so uncomfortable knowing that he (and possibly she) knew.

I don’t know if it’s worth saying anything to my OH about it now? Obviously it’s done and can’t be changed.

@Cheeseandwin5

Do you know me? Do you know what I look like? Where I work? Where I live? Who my husband is? How many DC I have?

No. Because it’s an anonymous forum. I even changed my usual posting name so nobody would link it to anything else I’ve said.
So no, in no way at all is this the same

No one thinks that men aren't entitled to feelings. What they are not entitled to do is break promises to their wives. Especially when said promise was their idea in the first place. This really isn't okay.

@Aderyn19

Exactly!!

Seen a couple of others raise it but what is the timeline here? When were the messages sent compared to when you had the discussion and agreed to keep quiet was that agreement about the pregnancy or the termination? He didn't tell his friend about the termination.

The messages were definitely sent after the conversation happened. I know this because the date on the text was the day after we came back from a weekend away at a wedding and we’d had the conversation a good week before that.