To think having a January birthday shows you who your fair-weather friends are?

[SachaStark]

It was my 30th birthday yesterday (wooooo 🎉... paying for it today).

As his gift to me, my husband booked out my favourite restaurant in town, so that we could have a cocktail and tapas party for our friends and family. It was all arranged six weeks ago.

No problem at all with the people who said no immediately, because they knew they’d have other stuff on. But all day yesterday, I was fielding phone call after text message from friends saying they weren’t coming after all. I felt like saying, “Please stop messaging me, because you’re bumming me out all day on my birthday. Just don’t turn up!”

People doing dry January (you don’t HAVE to drink at my party, you could have a fizzy drink), one friend was off to a veganuary dinner party instead... DH originally wanted to get a bigger venue, but I said, “No, it’s January, people won’t come to fill it,” which he kind of scoffed at, and was surprised by how many people dropped out during the afternoon yesterday.

AIBU to think that January birthdays (though I do love mine, and I don’t have to get that bluesy feeling when Christmas is over) will show you which of your friends are fair-weather ones?

On a more positive note, I’m obviously very grateful that my family came, and a few of my closest friends: one drove five hours to come, and my best friend came for the meal, even though she has been unwell this week. Just made me a bit sad yesterday when so many people dropped out last minute.

Whoops, sorry, didn’t realise votes are enabled automatically now.

Yanbu. For a while I stopped bothering to go out for my birthday because people never want to go out

Not just January. To find out who your true friends are just have a party. My DW had a party for her 40th and was amazed at how many dropped out on the day. So many pathetic excuses. Needless to say she hasn't bothered with them since!

Happy birthday SachaStark.
Sorry you had a crappy day . The good things are that your DH stepped up and your close friends came through.

I have a family member who has a January birthday and it is often a bit flat - restaurants are quiet and pretty much everyone is in the throes of NY resolutions .
You could be like my sister, who has a December birthday but chooses to celebrate in June, with mine, just to spread it out. Some people don’t actually know it’s not her real birthday 😁
Anyway sounds like you made up for your friends. Enjoy your 30s, a fabulous age.😁

I agree, my birthday is next week, and I've stopped even trying to get people together to come out for it! Belated happy birthday to you!

I have a January birthday (in the first week) and tbh hardly anyone manages to get a card in the post on time! I agree with a pp tho, people generally are flaky all year round, I think it's a modern affliction.

So glad it's not just me! 2 out of the 3 friends planned to go out with on Friday (including the one who suggested it) dropped out Friday afternoon. I nearly cancelled in a tantrum, but my remaining friend and I had an awesome night regardless (still paying for it on Sunday evening!). I dislike many things about my birthday, and the lack of people celebrating with me is one of them.

Absolutley! My best friend has a birthday at the end of this month. I will be there even though I can't really afford to and am already forking out a bloody fortune to attend his wedding and stag 6 weeks after. Doesn't matter. I'll be there.
I have a very small and very dependable friendship group. I know that no matter what happens, what time of year and what else they have on, they are there. Everyone else can bugger off!

I know exactly what you mean. Mine is the end of Jan. which is bad but maybe not as bad as yours? My school friends is the beginning of Jan, and loads of people cancel on her. Infuriating.

Yep. It's shitty. Everyone is dieting, off alcohol or broke (sometimes all three...).

The only advantage is that people can buy your present in the sales so get more for their money. I've done particularly well with jewellery gifts over the years. Jewellery is usually heavily discounted post-Christmas.

Yanbu, another January birthday here. I feel your pain. Happy birthday

I have a VERY early January birthday. Never had a birthday at school so missed out on that. Now that I’m older I try and organise something with just one friend after flat parties due to drops outs, health kicks, sobriety and skintness but this year she dropped out the day before. It definitely shows who are fair weather friends

Thanks for the birthday greetings!

It was a great night, thankfully, my family are massive and a right laugh, so I knew I could rely on them, and the handful of friends who came were brilliant. Like I said, paying for it today: I have sicked twice!

I feel a bit bad for DH, because he rang up and paid for all the food in advance to save the hassle of doing it on the night, so we had loads of “extra” tapas dishes (I was assured that this wasn’t a problem several times by a couple of very enthusiastic friends) for the missing people.

I think it is general not just January. Went to a 40th in October and was shocked how many dropped out on the day. I think it's the use of texts which enables you to pull out remotely which is a large part of it as you don't have to pick the phone up and have a personal conversation which is much harder to face doing.

I’m October and I get annoyed now sober-tober is a thing, January must be crap when everyone is dieting, staying sober, not eating meat, poor and over celebrations!

Agreed that it's not just a January thing, just a shitty person thing. When I'm invited to something, if I commit to go I write it in my diary and other offers are turned down. People cancelling on the day is basically saying 'sorry, but I've had a better offer'.

Yes I know that of course sometimes emergencies/illness pop up, but surely a large number of people don't all get sick on the same day.

I had my 40th in October a 80s party,over 100 people invited 40 dropped out ,even someone who was doing a bit of retro 80s food as she got a better offer.
I was so upset about it all some people even asked for photos after ...if you can't be bothered to come why should I let you see all photos.

I had my 40th last January. All I wanted was a big party with friends and family. Somewhere with a crap DJ, buffet and cheap drink.

What I got was 6 friends coming out for food then buggering off home early.

I'm never ever ever planning anything more than a meal out with my family (DH and DCs)

Mine was last week, my mum's today, my cousin's 2 days before mine

I don't think any of us have ever done big things for our birthdays because it just doesn't work out - small things yes.

Yup, mine is next week. Everyone is broke after Christmas. It’s a non event.

I'm having a birthday party next week. Had a lot if anxiety about organizing it and people not coming. Got several rsvp's and felt relief. This got me a bit worried now. As I don't think it's January. I just think it's people power days. There are no commitment.

That’s a shame! Happy birthday Jan peeps!

Nooooo! My dd2's a January baby!

I raise you December birthdays

Happy birthday to you!
Mine is 4th January and I hate it. No one remembers and those that do ask me on Christmas day what I would like for my birthday!! And as its just after Christmas there's generally nothing I can think of that I would like. The shops are still full of sale stuff. I have often thought about moving it to the 4th June!