To think having a January birthday shows you who your fair-weather friends are?

[SachaStark]

It was my 30th birthday yesterday (wooooo 🎉... paying for it today).

As his gift to me, my husband booked out my favourite restaurant in town, so that we could have a cocktail and tapas party for our friends and family. It was all arranged six weeks ago.

No problem at all with the people who said no immediately, because they knew they’d have other stuff on. But all day yesterday, I was fielding phone call after text message from friends saying they weren’t coming after all. I felt like saying, “Please stop messaging me, because you’re bumming me out all day on my birthday. Just don’t turn up!”

People doing dry January (you don’t HAVE to drink at my party, you could have a fizzy drink), one friend was off to a veganuary dinner party instead... DH originally wanted to get a bigger venue, but I said, “No, it’s January, people won’t come to fill it,” which he kind of scoffed at, and was surprised by how many people dropped out during the afternoon yesterday.

AIBU to think that January birthdays (though I do love mine, and I don’t have to get that bluesy feeling when Christmas is over) will show you which of your friends are fair-weather ones?

On a more positive note, I’m obviously very grateful that my family came, and a few of my closest friends: one drove five hours to come, and my best friend came for the meal, even though she has been unwell this week. Just made me a bit sad yesterday when so many people dropped out last minute.

Between us we have 2 January borns and one December. SDD (eldest) has moaned about this for many years and she says it’s getting worse with dry January, Veganuary etc and she doesn’t bother arranging anything now until the beginning of February.

I’m an August baby and I had a similar problem in that all my friends were always on holiday. They still are and I arranged my 40th for the beginning of September so people could actually go!

Cross post melj1213

Dds are this week. So not only January but twins so they don't even get a birthday each.

They are only preteens so no huge issues yet but we already do something mid year otherwise we have no celebrations through the year

My birthday is in August and I never have had a big turnout. I prefer just meeting up with a few close friends for dinner and drinks now.

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! 🎂🎂🎂
But YABU. January birthdays are annoying.
(DNiece,DNiece, DMum, DBro, DSon1)
But so are Christmas-NewYear birthdays (FIL, Aunt, DD, DNiece)
And Easter birthdays because everyone’s on holiday (me, DSon2, DDad, MIL) and June exam time/summer holidays birthdays (BFF, DNiece)
So many times are inconvenient and people bail.

My birthday is the end of November, I booked a local restaurant/cocktail bar for a meal and drinks for turning 40, I invited people that I see and socialise with think school pals, uni pals, school mums and on the day there were 8 of us. Some folk said no right away, fair enough but 6 people pulled out on the day. I still had a great night though but have curbed what I do for other people. I tend to take the car on nights out sometimes as I live in the opposite direction to everyone else but did end up being taxi driver at the end of the night. Now that I don't go they moan at the cost of taxis.

@Destinysdaughter, happy belated birthday, mine is the same day and I feel pretty much the same.

Happens to me all the time - I’m early February. The last time I arranged something I got so many drop out messages and only a few friends showed in the end, I was so upset I got drunk and cried. That was about 4 years ago and I don’t bother with planning anything anymore.

I know the feeling .... mine on Friday 10th and never book a party for this reason. Oh for a summer birthday ..... Happy Birthday OP ...

Same has happened to me OP! I'm used to it now and never plan anything!

I'm a January birthday to and it sucks. Everyone is so flat and I feel like my birthday is just a hassle for everyone who is glad all the Christmas madness is over and then think Ah crap I need to get Bluewall a card or whatever.

I have often fantasied of having a summer birthday having a BBQ and sitting drinking gin I. The garden with my friends .....

I don’t make a big deal out of it, but I do celebrate on the day, normally with coffee and cake. I take the day off, my closest friends come round for breakfast, or afternoon coffee. If my friends aren’t available, I take myself to a new place and do a new (for me) thing. Last time that happened was 2012, I took myself to London and I spent the whole day in the National Portraits Gallery, stopped for lunch in China town , went back for some more of the exhibitions.

I’m enjoying my birthday. It was celebrated once in my entire childhood, nobody has ever made a fuss of it while I was growing up. I’m determined to rectify this. Nothing extravagant, but it’s a thanks to growing another year older, celebrating I am still alive and sane.

My birthday is today and I hate it! Used to get really upset that people never made the effort. Now i don't really plan anything so i can't be hurt when people drop out. They always expect me to make a effort for theirs though

So sad for everyone experiencing this. I don't think pp who have a birthday at other times of the year get how hurtful and disappointing it is for all of us. I try to be happy for other pp's birthdays but there's a little part of me that is so resentful as I can never have a normal birthday...

God I feel you! My bday is next week and I am having basically only family out for a few drinks (mid 30s now). But my 30th was exactly the same as yours. So many past minute drop outs.

I hate people jumping on the bullshit dry, vegan, whatevers popular bandwagon. So unfair to us Jan babies!

Happy belated bday to you! It genuinely is the worst month to be born. I wont TTC in April as I dont want my child to suffer what I go through!

YANBU - it was my birthday last Saturday and I only ever have a quiet celebration with family.

I did have a big barbecue for my 49.5th birthday though - it made such a lovely change to have a birthday party in the summer, when people weren't broke or on diets due to Christmas - I thoroughly recommend celebrating your half birthday !!

Oh and Happy Birthday !

Yup , everyone is always too fucked from Xmas , skint and it’s too cold to come out .

My birthday is in July. That's also shit for parties. Everyone is away. I've stopped bothering.

Glad you had a good day after all. Happy birthday!

Ha ha, the candles in the loaf of bread have made me laugh!

When it was my 20th birthday, my mum used a leftover reindeer-themed cake from Christmas for me. I was not impressed.

Accepting but then cancelling at short notice (excepting genuine illness or other really good reason) is so rude. Even more so when food is being provided.

It’s not just January: mine is 28 December and it mega sucks. Basically ignored.

....change it to a summer half birthday is my advice!

I really hate how everyone makes January such a bloody miserable month. I'd also rather people didn't go so over the top in December so they pay for it (literally and metaphorically) in January. A few years ago I went to Australia over the Australia Day period. My goodness everyone was so amazingly happy! Like August bank holiday but actually hot!

If I ever have a lot of money I'll visit my Aussie friends every January and banish the winter blues.

I eat normally and drink normally in January because it's a cold dark month and I don't need to whip myself with birches to be virtuous at a fairly seasonally shit time.

If you were my mate I'd jump at the chance to go out in January! And be turning 30 again People are so lame in January but a bit of happiness for someone else is the least they can do.

My DD2 already gets this, her birthday is at the end of January, the rest off he family are in the Summer, 3 of them have their birthdays in the same week so we usually have a birthday BBQ.

Family and friends tend to forget about DD2s and can’t be bothered coming up to see her. Now she’s older we just go out for dinner ourselves and make a fuss of her.