To think having a January birthday shows you who your fair-weather friends are?

[SachaStark]

It was my 30th birthday yesterday (wooooo 🎉... paying for it today).

As his gift to me, my husband booked out my favourite restaurant in town, so that we could have a cocktail and tapas party for our friends and family. It was all arranged six weeks ago.

No problem at all with the people who said no immediately, because they knew they’d have other stuff on. But all day yesterday, I was fielding phone call after text message from friends saying they weren’t coming after all. I felt like saying, “Please stop messaging me, because you’re bumming me out all day on my birthday. Just don’t turn up!”

People doing dry January (you don’t HAVE to drink at my party, you could have a fizzy drink), one friend was off to a veganuary dinner party instead... DH originally wanted to get a bigger venue, but I said, “No, it’s January, people won’t come to fill it,” which he kind of scoffed at, and was surprised by how many people dropped out during the afternoon yesterday.

AIBU to think that January birthdays (though I do love mine, and I don’t have to get that bluesy feeling when Christmas is over) will show you which of your friends are fair-weather ones?

On a more positive note, I’m obviously very grateful that my family came, and a few of my closest friends: one drove five hours to come, and my best friend came for the meal, even though she has been unwell this week. Just made me a bit sad yesterday when so many people dropped out last minute.

Happy Birthday op. Im very thoughtful with friends. I either get their xmas tat passed on or a late text. Then of course all about theirs when its theirs. Mine is this week.
I just dont make fuss of pals now

4th June was my ex's birthday. I was always envious . Having a January birthday just before people get paid when they got paid early in December was rubbish.

one friend was off to a veganuary dinner party instead

Defriend immediately.

Many happy returns BTW.

I'd have been there with bells on OP. Happy birthday to you.

Ha ha, my one thought on receiving that message was, “Well, my food will be better than any veganuary dinner by far!”

It's my birthday tomorrow and I've pretty much given up trying to get people to do anything for it.

Broke. Ill. Cutting back after Christmas. And now Dry-January and Veganuary to contend with. There's just no point!

Happy birthday to all my fellow January born.

I hear you, I’m in the same boat. It’s beyond crap. I don’t bother trying to celebrate my birthday now.

Mine on Tuesday EnglishRose. happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday! Well done to your DH for organising and ditch the no shows.

I would love to have a big birthday but now I stick to immediate family and siblings. Even though they can't get a card in the post in time and wait till they see me... Could be 2 weeks later! 🎉

Happy birthday for yesterday op

Mine is next Saturday (18th) and it’s quite depressing, everyone is super skint and fed up and can’t justify a night out.

Your husband sounds like an absolute star though for arranging your party, it sounds great, despite the drop outs-their loss.

I’ve said this before on here but 21 years ago when I was 21 I received a cheque from my dad for a few hundred quid, on the proviso that I didn’t cash it until the 27th when he got paid

Happy Birthday!!!

It was my 30th on NYD! Similar to PP I've now stopped bothering as no one else seems to be arsed and I get accused of being spoilt and childish when I point out that it's quite hurtful.

Both DSC birthdays are in January (actually I share the day with one), so I make a huge fuss of them on their day. I will never make them feel like celebrating their birthday is an inconvenience.

It absolutely sucks and it's shitty of people not to make the effort. I'm actually doing my birthday night out on 1st Feb this year as I anticipated excuses closer to Christmas.

Mines the 29 December. It's so shit I feel like I don't even have a birthday! I understand pp are busy but it still sucks. It's just a crap time of year to have a birthday and I still haven't found a way to make it any easier...

It is a January thing - my birthday was last week and it was ever thus and I am older than mobile phones and dry January, I assure you!

I had my 40th at the end of the month because of this and I'm determined to not do the same for my 50th. If folk can't show up, they can feck off.

I think it's the same for all months in my experience.

But happy birthday to YOU OP!!!

With you OP. I am late Jan and my eldest is early Jan. Totally sucks. I just have a quiet day off work either walking or going for a swim.

Ps when I was a kid I was obsessed with knowing when it was my half birthday so I could say I was say 9 and a half, that half was important!

So mine is 18th July. I’ve often thought about changing my birthday to that.

Happy Birthday!

As a PP said, have a party for any occasion really and it’s the same. I’ve literally never had a party for myself before and Me and OH had our engagement party a few months ago. It was organised well in advance, everyone rsvp’d, we catered for everyone who said they were coming, booked a band and a DJ. More people dropped out than actually turned up and a lot didn’t even bother to let us know they weren’t coming. The venue was fairly small anyway but seemed so empty and so much food went to waste. On the bright side we know who to cut from the wedding guest list now!

I'm a January baby, and it honestly sucks big time, I'm fed up with people not bothering with my birthday so i dont plan anything anymore. So as of next year I'm going to start going away for my birthday instead 😁

Yanbu. I gave up trying to do anything for my birthday years ago as nobody was interested in doing anything in January,

Poor you OP. I’m glad you had a great time regardless.
This flakiness is why I just don’t bother organising anything anymore. It’s rude and thoughtless when someone has gone to great trouble and expense to arrange a party.
My 40th is this year and I can’t bear the thought of organising anything. So called friends have made big deals of their birthdays in the past, arranging weekends away, big parties, etc. I have always gone along and bought thoughtful gifts but I doubt I’ll even get a card. Sigh....

Happy Birthday Op! And Happy Birthday all the other January babies.

Mines next week. I have to say I love it. January is not the right month to cut out life’s pleasures so I’m lucky I have a good excuse not to.aas someone else said, you don’t get that crash after a Christmas. I love all the restaurants having offered and all my presents being in the sale- I usually get loads.

People are shit at attending parties whatever month it is ( unless there’s something in it for them).

Yes, DH is an absolute star, he is certainly the best man in the world, and I am lucky to have married him.

This is why I hate birthday celebrations that go beyond family. It's always a risk.

My boys (3 and 7) want birthday parties and I am so scared their best friends won't show, or cancel at the last minute. I couldn't handle seeing their faces if that happened.

It's not just January, my birthday is the end of July and I've never had a birthday party on my birthday (except for a family birthday tea) because I always had it weeks before, at the end of the school term because it was impossible to find a time in the summer holidays to have a party when me or my friends weren't off on holiday/in holiday club etc. As I got older and wanted to have parties people would always cancel at late notice so I stopped bothering.

So my birthday has never really been a big day, as an adult I just dont bother organizing a party or anything more than drinks with a couple of friends.