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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that the motive on gift wrapping paper does not matter?

343 replies

Luxplus · 12/01/2020 15:38

Dd, 3 years old, was invited to a birthday party by a girl from nusery. All fine, responded she would like to come, asked for wishes and went with dd to get a gift from list. Thought I had frozen gift wrapping paper at home. Wanted to wrap this morning before party at 10am to realise that the only wrapping paper we had was Christmas inspired green with gold trees on so ofc wrapped the gift in that paper and took dd to party..
All went fine at the party, the birthday gift liked the gift and party was nice.
But just received a txt from the birthday girls mom where she is moaning about the paper and accusing me of regifting a Christmas gift that I clearly didn't even bother to rewrap.
I'm a bit gobsmacked by the txt.. I have a recipe that proves I bought it last weekend, but I really didnt anybody would care that much about the look of the wrapping paper?
AIBU?

OP posts:
aSofaNearYou · 12/01/2020 16:35

She would have been cheeky even if it was regifted, but it should have been fairly obvious what happened given how recent Christmas was. Don't sweat it, she is being very rude.

BrieAndChilli · 12/01/2020 16:37

God she sounds like a nightmare. My kids have had stuff in the past that looked like a regift but I would never had said that to anyone never mind the person who gave it, plus a gift is a gift. Maybe that person was skint or had forgotten because they have other stuff going on so grabbed whatever they could find. I really don’t care, I’d rather my children’s friends came to the party and had a good time than not come because they couldn’t afford a gift:
I’ve often regifted stuff if my children have got duplicates or something they won’t use.

lanthanum · 12/01/2020 16:40

If you get an invite next year, maybe you should ask for a copy of the contract you obviously missed this year.

JassyRadlett · 12/01/2020 16:43

The mother behaved poorly, but as someone with a birthday shortly after Christmas it’s always a bit shit when people can’t be arsed to make an effort for it and just use up the Christmas stuff instead.

Beautiful3 · 12/01/2020 16:50

Wow that mother is so rude!!! Who cares what wrapping paper is on it?!

aSofaNearYou · 12/01/2020 16:58

@JassyRadlett that might be a reasonable thing to be a bit miffed about with your close family and friends, but how much effort should you expect from someone who barely knows your child that just happens to be in your daughter's class? She should have been grateful for even a regift tbh, who writes a list in this scenario?

Original poster
Luxplus · 12/01/2020 17:06

Re the gift list, I asked myself for gifts wishes and don't mind a list at all...

OP posts:
JassyRadlett · 12/01/2020 17:06

@aSofaNearYou

As I said, the mother behaved badly. But yeah, it’s crap when people can’t even be bothered to go through the motions for your birthday, despite all the people who think it couldn’t matter less. And when they make it so blindingly obvious. It’s pretty poor manners to make it so clear you are going through the motions and don’t really care.

Does the kid mind now? Who knows. Maybe she asked why it had Christmas wrapping. Maybe she didn’t even notice, who knows?

But if I’m giving a gift, regardless of who it’s for, I do try to put a tiny bit of thought into it.

NeckPainChairSearch · 12/01/2020 17:06

just received a txt from the birthday girls mom where she is moaning about the paper and accusing me of regifting a Christmas gift that I clearly didn't even bother to rewrap

Seriously? Like pp, I'm struggling with someone being THAT rude.

If someone's kind enough to bring a gift, I'm happy to receive it. I don't give a toss if it's wrapped in parcel paper, Christmas wrap, or a piece of cloth.

In my group, no one would bat an eyelid at Christmas wrap for a birthday gift. I'd have little time for anyone who thought that kind of thing mattered, frankly.

74NewStreet · 12/01/2020 17:10

Would any of you claiming it’s understandable to be “a bit miffed” (it’s a gift for a 3 year old) actually take the gift giver to task about the wrapping paper? Or suggest that the gift is so cheap it should have been topped up with cash in the card?
There would seem to be a lot of people about with the social skills of a greedy grizzly bear.
God love you all.

ChilliandLemon · 12/01/2020 17:12

Or what she wrote was she thought money must be missing from the card to accompany the small gift.

WTF??

Karwomannghia · 12/01/2020 17:15

I’m shocked anyone would care about this least of all the birthday girl, my 3yo wouldn’t care at all or notice. The mother is being utterly ridiculous!

LadyLightning · 12/01/2020 17:16

So what if you had regifted? And about wrapping paper - something that is torn off and thrown away? Next time use newpaper or something else which is going to be thrown away and explain you are doing your bit for the environment.

makingmammaries · 12/01/2020 17:18

I also wrapped a gift in vaguely Christmas paper for a party in early Jan. I had bought the birthday girl exactly what her parents suggested when I asked. It was eyewateringly expensive, but that was OK because 3 of my DCs were going to the party. The parents were sensible not to care about the paper. In your case the party mum just sounds grasping and horrible.

MondeoFan · 12/01/2020 17:18

Bad manners on your part. Of course it matters what's on the paper, even if the child doesn't notice their parent will.
I'm not against re-gifting if that's the mums bug bear but I'd be upset about the paper

Original poster
Luxplus · 12/01/2020 17:20

@JassyRadlett I think I did put thought in the gift by choosing one from the list.
And I didn't deliberately wanted to wrap in Christmas paper, I just forgot that the frozen had already been used

OP posts:
heartsonacake · 12/01/2020 17:20

Yes she was rude to mention it but I also think it was lazy and thoughtless of you to wrap in Christmas paper.

You should have checked before the party date or bought some on the day/way there to the party.

74NewStreet · 12/01/2020 17:22

Haha, are there actually a load of three year old’s posting here? Grin. Or are you all taking the piss?

BouncyTigger85 · 12/01/2020 17:23

If you had bought something from the list, does the mum think you guessed that an unwrapped gift was the exact thing the birthday girl wanted?!

Nonnymum · 12/01/2020 17:24

The mother was very rude. I wouldn't wrap a birthday present in Christmas paper but she was completely out of order. Even if you had regifted it so what. She sounds quite horrible

Pipandmum · 12/01/2020 17:27

Gift list?!?
I would not use Christmas paper to wrap a birthday gift. But we have in the past received presents wrapped in the 'wrong' paper and the parent has just said it was all they had - never thought it was regifted (and even if it was so what). But she was very petty to text you about it.

Raindancer411 · 12/01/2020 17:27

Wonder how many more people she texted. She cannot dictate what people spend, that's greedy.

As for using the paper, how does she know that you didn't buy it by accident and only realise when home. It's paper and it gets ripped off!

NeckPainChairSearch · 12/01/2020 17:27

Yes, we should all buy more shit to be thrown away, wasted or recycled. It makes SO much sense.

Perfectly good Christmas wrap? Fuck it. BUY MORE. Buy something that's virtually the same, but not 'Christmassy' so people don't get upset that the bloody pattern on the paper around the gift you bought for them isn't 'right.'

Unreal.

gamerchick · 12/01/2020 17:36

I know man, people are really strange to be bothered about such a thing. Like their need to feel special enough outweighs everything else.

It's fucking wrapping paper. It gets thrown away. Hmm it's to hide the gift, thats its sole purpose. Brains boggling Grin

Rhumatoidwarrior88 · 12/01/2020 17:36

As a January kid . And 32 years of gifts wrapped in Xmas gifts she's right . Every other kid gets something special wrapped in birthday wrapping. Sounds petty but it's a sliding scale of worth on the persons birthday . Eventually we do get regifted gifts and our siblings get better birthdays . It's an ongoing problem. Born before Christmas your treated differently because people are aware it's so close to Xmas after your forgotten. Seriously . When this kid gets older there friends will be skint and will get naff attempts at gifts ! So yes she's right . But you did buy her a gift and that's all that matters but please don't wrap a January kids gift in Xmas paper it does sting !