To be permanently skint, despite being on a good salary?

[cherriesandapplesandberries]

On paper, we have a good combined income of around £85,000, although it varies slightly and can even go up to around 90 on a good year.

But we seem to be permanently skint, and I don’t mean not much money, I mean absolutely nothing in the bank accounts, scrabbling round for loose change, stressing about how we will get to work, skint. This isn’t a begging thread by the way, I know sometimes people post on MN wanting others to offer them money and I don’t, I’m just trying to explain how it is.

We do have debts, loans and credit cards plus obviously the mortgage, childcare fees, cars which cost then obviously the needs of a growing family.

I know back when I was a young ‘un I’d have fallen about laughing at the idea my current salary isn’t enough to live on, but I just seem to be struggling all of the time!

Op once your start freeing up some cash / pay off your credit card you may find you can transfer your cc debt to low interest rate or 0% interest rate cards keep
An eye on your credit score , it may not be now but in 6 months time you May be able to and that will help you chip at it faster.

Of if your credit score is still excellent check into loans to structure the payment ( unless you have more free funds coming in the near future ) as loan rates start from 3.4% credit cards can be as high the 30-40%

If your mortgage is on standard variable rate get that fixed in on a better deal.

Again sorry if you have already done that but you haven’t said if you have or haven’t and I know someone that saved £1200 a month by looking into all those areas and getting better deals.

Stop being so snipey

I realise they come out of his salary but that doesn’t mean they couldn’t be reduced or at least looked at

The credit card payments appear to have dropped by £50 a month now, they were £150 earlier

I think reality is you don’t actually know the detail - as others have said - going through it with a fine tooth comb will very likely find you some savings

Sorry - £3200 on childcare.

"I know sweet it is tough, we did similar with the house and I don’t regret it.*"
*
Well there you go. You've bought a house you can't afford (yet). Once the childcare costs end in a couple of years you'll be fine as long as you can keep your heads above water until then. You are basically living beyond your means.

I don’t need ‘help’, thanks, feet

I’m not answering that again, 2020

Seriously cannot understand why you would be skint. At £34, 000 had spare cash for expensive holidays, went abroad twice a year, sometimes tours, plus a mortgage and car. But no children, cheap to run and buy car, and a modest bungalow, 3 beds, front and back garden, garage, which did accommodate 2 children and 2 adults before I bought it.
I honestly think it's about priorities and perspective; defining broke. Broke for my friend is still having to work (she hates it) after 60 with a mortgage on a lovely house and other properties, or for me almost being homeless before buying. Thought celestial choirs should be singing when my mortgage was paid off on the bungalow. So did a job which I loved, primary school teaching. and could go part time, retire when I burnt out.
The stress of trying to live beyond your means isn't worth it.

It sounds like childcare costs are your biggest problem.

How old are your DC, how much longer are you on the childcare train for?

Although.....childcare costs will be replaced by expensive teens, driving lessons, uni accommodation etc! It never ends!

You are being quite snippy on here OP people are just trying to help

Just not really wanting to post identifying information kaiser: and I really am not posting for help!

You've over stretched yourselves. I'd hazard a guess that you have:
The latest mobile phones
Newish cars
Sky or Virgin plus Netflix/amazon tv
Regular take aways
Designer clothes

On £85k, £55k take home between them ? With mortgage and high childcare fees ? That would not be the case at all. Some people have a very skewed view of affordability.

I have expensive teens and not currently paying anywhere near what the OP currently paying for childcare

Just not really wanting to post identifying information kaiser: and I really am not posting for help

But your AIBU Q makes no sense without detail.

So no one can answer, no one can help, if you just wanted to vent you could have done so without dressing it up as an AIBU.

The latest mobile phones
Newish cars
Sky or Virgin plus Netflix/amazon tv
Regular take aways
Designer clothes

As I said some people think 4k a month means you're rolling in it. I have Netflix but get it free through work & my iphone costs £15 a month, it's ancient. I shop for clothes & shoes mainly on ebay & car is old.

OP, I realise you don’t want help but have you honestly sat down and recorded where your joint income goes?

You’ve said childcare was your DH’s entire £1,700 salary but now it’s £1,500

You’ve said card payments were at least £150 per month but now they’re £100

You’ve not given any indication on your housing and bills costs

I appreciate you don’t want to do that (but still don’t understand how you think anyone can answer your title question without it) but unless you do it things won’t change

If you’re £100’s out on your guess of what you spend on the big things each month it’s not surprising you’re skint

£85k with 2 kids in childcare and a mortgage is not a massive salary but it’s a shit load more than many manage on

OP you don't mention child benefit anywhere in your incomings. Are you claiming it? Your DH salary is below the threshold. Yours actual salary is a little vague but I think it will be below the 50K once you take off pension contributions (which you do). Are you claiming this?

As I said some people think 4k a month means you're rolling in it

Comments like this really confirm that some people are living in a whole other world

I don’t need to go to moneysaving to know that clearing debts as soon as possible is a good idea, but you can’t get blood from a stone!

Am sure you don't, but they will give you ideas on how to pay off quicker. You have had some excellent suggestions from people who have been there, but you seem to have become very defensive. Not everyone has snipped at you, but you don't seem to have taken anything on board, but just continue about how you " can't " do this and " can't " do that. There are always ways you can cut down if you really want to. Not sure we can help you further if you aren't willing to do anything to help your situation, however small .

Comments like this really confirm that some people are living in a whole other world

🙄

I haven’t seen any excellent suggestions at all on this thread. Except to say she needs to know where her money goes which she does. Very few other posts (especially the ludicrous ones like ‘move house’) have given any realistic suggestion. Maybe the tutoring post. But no others. And £4000 is no way rolling in it if your outgoings are £4000.

It's hard when you feel out of your depth financially, regardless of your salary.

There are things you could think about to help you clear your debt quicker and get back on track.

Try switching your mortgage to interest only - this can considerably lower your payments. The loan to value on your home may have changed too - giving you access to lower mortgage rates.

Move your credit card debt onto a 0% interest credit card - and keep moving it until it's paid off.

Call all your utilities and service providers. Tell them you need to reduce your bills and let them advise how to do this. I saved £100 per month on my utilities and services just by ringing them all and telling them I was struggling and needed some help. They would rather help you than lose you as a customer.

If you still have to use a credit card, get one that gives cash back for all purchases.

Move your bank account to a bank that gives cash back on direct debit payments. Natwest offer money back on all utilities and services - the payments may be small but they really mount up.

Every time you get cash back from your bank or credit card use it to pay off your credit card debt.

Meal plan! Only buy what you need. Only cook what you need. So if sausages are in pack of 8 and you only need 6 for the meal, freeze the spare 2. Any leftovers have for lunch the next day, or freeze.

Forget coffee shops. Take your own or do without.

Make sure you collect any rewards points or tokens offered, but only use them if they are for things you'd buy.

Only buy branded items when they're on offer. The rest of the time supermarket brands are your friend.

I could go on - being made redundant made me look at what I spent my money on.

All of these things will become second nature to you. Then when you're back on track you'll be able to save more, pay more into your pension, go on holiday... whatever you fancy!

Good luck OP. It's hard, but you can turn it around. And you're not alone.

The weirdest thing about this thread is that you are willing to give very precise figures for your childcare/loan/CC costs, cherriesandapplesandberries, but won't give the figures for your mortgage payments because they're "personal". Why are they so much more personal than any of the other figures? Genuinely baffled. Have you actually got a mortgage?

OH FFS @Bearbehind shut up will you and change your name to PainInTheBehind

I thought that was odd too trip

I makes you wonder if it’s actually because they are very low for some reason

Er, no lady

What have I said that’s wrong?

This is the weirdest AIBU thread in a while.

OP I suspect you want a middle class lifestyle but you have a partner bringing in less than a middle class income rather than matching your moderate middle class income.

Mortgage
Cars
Paid childcare

The middleclass lifesyle was achievable with the help of credit pre dc. It isn't any more and your expectations need to be readjusted. It's the Micawber principle. You are spending more than you have coming in. Result Misery.