To be permanently skint, despite being on a good salary?

[cherriesandapplesandberries]

On paper, we have a good combined income of around £85,000, although it varies slightly and can even go up to around 90 on a good year.

But we seem to be permanently skint, and I don’t mean not much money, I mean absolutely nothing in the bank accounts, scrabbling round for loose change, stressing about how we will get to work, skint. This isn’t a begging thread by the way, I know sometimes people post on MN wanting others to offer them money and I don’t, I’m just trying to explain how it is.

We do have debts, loans and credit cards plus obviously the mortgage, childcare fees, cars which cost then obviously the needs of a growing family.

I know back when I was a young ‘un I’d have fallen about laughing at the idea my current salary isn’t enough to live on, but I just seem to be struggling all of the time!

Ok then bear, you think it’s. a begging thread (seriously grin) so now you’ve voiced your suspicion, how about you find another thread?

You really only see what you want to see don’t you OP?

It was you who went to the trouble of stating it wasn’t a begging thread - I just pointed out that no one else would have thought for a second it was because it wouldn’t occur to the rest of us to give someone money when they insist spending hundreds on a children's birthday party was a necessity

we have felt it recently due to a few unexpected bills that have now wiped out my savings (septic tank related and then vet fees)
yanbu the cost of living has shot up, petrol, cars, bills etc.
i pay my credit card off monthly but my student loan plus public sector pension takes a third of my wage nearly! (i'm on about £40k) then minus the tax i get literally 1800 a month.
so a good wage 40k actually isn't that good on paper, when i was on my own with my kids it was a struggle.

i would bare in mind that as the kids get older you may loose the cost of child care but they become just as expensive in other ways
clubs
food
transport to school
uniforms
mobile phones etc

ive just switched bank accounts, switch bills etc and buy through top cash back and it all adds up

my dp is a high earner like yourself and has always said he'd look after me financially if i needed it so im a lot more calm about my finances but manage to cope

Are your credit cards 0 interest? If not, make sure you’re not paying the minimum monthly. Cancel your payment DD’s and instead, set up standing orders for your minimum payments this month. Paying even a few pounds extra will clear your debt much quicker.

sorry i just reread you're combined income us £85k, yes yanbu it is a struggle

So OP come August you will have 280 more knocking around! Is that ALL of the debt gone then it is there more??? If there’s more I suggest you take 200 and start paying that off the other debt to pay it faster!!!

Can people not read? I posted about the birthday party, not OP. And yes, I do view it as essential. £15 ish per head for a party is standard. Have to reciprocate all invitations so a huge number of children.

OP you are probably also suffering from what I would call "tknb" syndrome. Two kids no benefits.

You earn 45k or something. You feel this should make you quite a bit better off than Mel, the single mum from school with 3 kids who works in a low paid role in retail, earning little more than the tax threshold.

What you forget is Mel also gets some other money and it's not taxed:

• CM from the kids dad
• universal credit help with childcare, housing cost plus equivalent of tax credits.

Because a high proportion of what she earns is mostly untaxed, and topped up with a lot of untaxed other money, the effect is that she has almost the same net as someone earning far more.

This is of course the point of benefits - to level out inequality of income, but the hidden impact is to make the middle earners feel worse off, as the don't realise a middle income may be no more than a low income plus benefits.

Are you paying interest in the cards? If so could you move them onto something with out? That pension will feel great when you are age (50) and you will be pleased you have got through it.

Depressing though it is if you haven’t done it , it is worth combing your statements with a fine tooth comb and breaking things down each month on an excel page.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland You are posting untruths about benefits again. As I said we have a household wage of £45k, we both work, and 2 kids, childcare and a mortgage. We get £67 benefits a week plus the child benefit that OP will get.
Benefits do not make it a level playing field. They simply help with childcare so I can work.

I don’t know who’s posts you’ve been reading bear but believe me I have NOT spent £100 on my kids birthdays!

lipper it’s the loans. Then the plan is to pay off the CCs.

Very true noi

I think the reality here is that unless the OP wants to disclose the extent and duration of the debts and why they built up, no one can answer the AIBU question ie, if it was reasonable to have a decent salary but still be skint

No one can answer that except her if she doesn’t want to say where all the money goes

Yes I agree, if there is CC debt that will take longer to clear then I’d be doing the following:

£100 on CC
£100 on savings
£80 for incidentals

Every little helps. Just make sure that extra money doesn’t get swallowed up in petty buying that you don’t even notice.

Apologies on that one cherries I got posters mixed up. But the principle of no one thinking people on £85k were in begging thread territory still stands.

bear the debts built up due to a highly personal and unavoidable reason which I won’t go into here, as it’s both personal and identifying.

In any case, thouh, even if the debts had built up because I was a dick when I was younger, it doesn’t matter, does it, just like cancer doesn’t care if you got it because you smoked yourself or if you got lung cancer from working in smoky pubs. It might make a difference to public perception, but it makes no difference. Debts are debts.

And Christ, I’ve SAID where the money goes!

1500 - childcare
500 - loans
200 - petrol
200 - groceries (i include in this things like kids shoes, toys, birthdays, swimming)
100 - cards

@cherriesandapplesandberries just tagging you to say again (in case you missed it) that if your CCs are not on 0% interest then the standing order trick works very well to pay down debt faster. If you’re disciplined about not using the CCs at all then just that little change will make a big difference. Definitely do it today!

It does make a difference OP.

If the debts built up because you just liked living a lifestyle you couldn’t afford then it’s very different to paying for something completely unavoidable

If you carry on doing the former then things will never get better.

As others have said, if you use the extra money when the loans stop, to pay down the other debts then things will get better

The danger is that money gets eaten up on ‘treats’ and the other debts don’t go down

Just don’t make the mistake in April of making that 80 “get lost” in outgoings because IT WILL if you don’t assign it to something...put that extra 80 straight into your Direct debit on the credit card. If you are just about making it work now then you can do it until August! THEN, in August take 120 from the 200 you have extra and put that towards the CC too!! Then you have 80 “spare” and the extra 200 going to your CC!! The 80 spare I would put straight into a savings account until you build up an emergency fund of 1k.
Also go through your finances with a tribe toothcomb...there are always savings t be made somewhere!!

OP, there’s no housing costs or bills in that list

That’s because they come out of DHs salary, bear

As I have explained

Several times.

Tribe 🤣 ....I meant fine!

I do know where it’s going, but the fact is, if it’s going on essentials then what can you do? So my YNAB comes back and tells me that out of my take home £2500, £500 goes on paying back loans and £1500 on childcare, leaving me with £500 to put towards my credit cards, fill my car with petrol, buy food for my children, pay for my mobile phone and so on. It isn’t being splurged on takeaway coffee.

The problem of course is the loan s and credit card debt, you should head over to money saving expert ...you have to clear these as soon as possible and not add anything to the credit card otherwise you will be in huge trouble

OP I am very confused and I think people are reacting because some of this doesn't add up.

You say Yep, dh takes home round about 1700. Childcare takes that. and also that out of your own income you pay £1500 so that is £2200 on childcare. How many children do you have? It sounds an awful lot.

It appears overall that you are what you term as "skint" because you have spent beyond your means in the past. You will just have to do what everyone else in this situation does and go without some things until you have paid your debts off.

I don’t need to go to moneysaving to know that clearing debts as soon as possible is a good idea, but you can’t get blood from a stone!

lipper

You don't help by talking about your joint family income and then talking about your share of it