To be permanently skint, despite being on a good salary?

[cherriesandapplesandberries]

On paper, we have a good combined income of around £85,000, although it varies slightly and can even go up to around 90 on a good year.

But we seem to be permanently skint, and I don’t mean not much money, I mean absolutely nothing in the bank accounts, scrabbling round for loose change, stressing about how we will get to work, skint. This isn’t a begging thread by the way, I know sometimes people post on MN wanting others to offer them money and I don’t, I’m just trying to explain how it is.

We do have debts, loans and credit cards plus obviously the mortgage, childcare fees, cars which cost then obviously the needs of a growing family.

I know back when I was a young ‘un I’d have fallen about laughing at the idea my current salary isn’t enough to live on, but I just seem to be struggling all of the time!

Yes sorry I meant MSE. But you do have to divulge all your financial details. OP is not being truthful on here, so may not be up for that.

P. S. The one that gets me is we have another money for essential maintenance with our house, but not enough for home improvements. I'd love a new kitchen but we're not prepared to extend mortgage, or take out any form of loan, so has to be saved. This is seemingly impossible. I appreciate this is a first world problem.

It's not easy, OP. We have a slightly lower salary and only £200 repayment a month on a loan and NO childcare costs and it still takes planning and thought. Everything adds up, as we all know. I'm in the expensive teenager stage and it's hard going. I get it.

Lots of ideas on here- one which struck a chord is the mortgage holiday. We took a 6 month break from ours after all 3 DC when I was on mat leave. It was a lifesaver. Perhaps if you did that it would give you a little savings buffer until some the debts are clear by August. Just a thought. Good luck.

You need to take a good look at your outgoings and decide when and where you can cut back, say if you have an expensive car, get rid and get something cheaper. The same with where you shop, and other material things you may own, you can enjoy nicer things when you have control of your money.

Kitchens only really need to be replaced about every 15-20 years. So over that period of time it may be possible?
Capitalism does encourage us to want new things all the time. But it is a manufactured desire.

Down. Size. (Everything)

Seem to have written that the DH brings home £1700 (which goes on childcare) while OP is also paying £1500 on childcare (each month).

This. OP seems to be trying to paint a picture that’s the worst from every angle.

Of course your take home is lower, we all pay income tax, contribute to a pension, NIS.

I struggle to sympathise. We are similar in circumstance and yet our outgoings are less. It’s entirely possible, you just seem defensive. Nothing will change if you don’t make an attempt.

@karencantobe were working on it. Our kitchen is about 25 years old, but it's good quality and whilst dated in good condition. It's not a need but something I'd like, but we never seem to get more than £1200 in kitchen fund.

Thank you hadenough

Please don’t scream at me and demand I tell you how much my mortgage is, lljkk, it’s not really your business is it?

Barbara you misunderstand me, there is NO poor me here at all, I’m very very grateful for the amount we have got. I’m just conscious that we have no money left over and I’m wondering about the future, I suppose.

I think it's pretty normal for all/most of one salary to go on childcare when your DC are very little. The childcare bill does reduce as your children get older! (though other expenses then increase, so swings and roundabouts).
OP's main issue is having to also pay so much on debt repayments and not having any savings to fall back on. Ideally they would have paid off debt (or not incurred any) before having children, and have built up savings instead. However, clearly too late for that now! I do think OP is right that weathering the next year or 2 is the hard part, and it is going to be pretty frugal living.

I think this thread is an interesting example to future posters who come on and say they are not sure if they can afford a child with their finances in the situation they are ... they always get responses saying "you'll find a way". And yes, OP is finding a way, but I suspect she wishes that her life was a bit different.

No I’m not triangle, I’ve told you all exactly how much our childcare bill is, several times now actually.

Definitely redsky!

@HairyToity That is old. Maybe it will come back into fashion and be incredibly trendy?
This actually happened with our bathroom in our old house. When we bought it the sellers were a bit embarrassed about the bathroom. By the time we came to sell, it was very fashionable and people we showed round were wowed by it.
Or maybe not

Just had a look at that MSE board. I can’t imagine finding any help on there at all. I would just be told to stop all kids’ hobbies. There was one person saying they spent £500 a month at Aldi for a family of 4 on absolutely everything including nappies, cleaning products. They were still being told that was too much even when they said they could not reduce it anymore.

It’s my DC’s birthday next month which will cost hundreds yet they would probably just tell me to cancel the party (whole class expensive parties plus siblings pretty normal here). I totally understand OP. Netflix once a month is the least of my outgoings.

Plus Christmas means any claw back I made through the year disappears. Every single year this happens.

@DisorganisedOrganiser Then that is fine, spend hundreds on your kids birthday. Just understand that it is a choice.

What is the point of this thread?

The bit in the OP about not wanting people to offer money is hysterical - like anyone would even consider it given your income

The facts are simple, you spent money you didn’t have so now need to repay loans and credit card which, when added to your high everyday cost of living, means you’re skint

Your only option is to earn more or spend less but you don’t want to do either

Could you consider a lodger? If you have a fairly big house then this may be a short term solution for you.Where we live on the South Coast ,Foreign Students need accomodation for the summer months ,and you usually provide Breakfast /Evening Meal Weekdays and Lunch Snacks W/E .Probably about £400/£500 p/m .I think many people expect a comfortable life on such a wage but the cost of living here is very high .

I’d LOVE to earn more, but HOW! I work full time!

I don't understand how a £50k salary only equates to a take home of £2500. Teacher pension contributions are 10.2% at your salary level, so according to MSE salary calculator you should be getting around £2800 take home. Is your tax code correct?

Well, it would be difficult with young kids, to be honest. Maybe.

@DisorganisedOrganiser If aren't going to be open to listening to advice then why would you even bother looking?

If you genuinely can't afford kids' hobbies then they have to stop. If you are really skint, struggling to pay bills then it's madness to continue with non essential expenditure.

People will often say they can't reduce their costs when they obviously can. Many families don't have £500 per month for groceries etc once the mortgage and utilities are covered. They still eat.

And yes, if you are spending hundreds on a children's party when you can't pay your bills then I'd tell you to cancel it too. You're being ridiculous.

Student loans really and I did some rounding up.

I think you're getting a hard time here OP, some people seem to have been saying "well if you're in the SE you're not being U but because you live elsewhere then you are" but there are other areas of the country that a very expensive, without being too specific I live in Cheshire, which is well known for having some very expensive areas.

Of course £85k sounds a lot but I can see that if you (or anyone else) bought a house and committed to a mortgage pre kids and are now trying to maintain that on top all the costs that go with kids that it would be a struggle, and it can be more difficult to cut your cloth after the fact.

My household income isnt near £85k but I can completely understand how this happens.

I'm glad some of your debts will be paid off later this year.

One thing that I found out recently that I didn't know which could help you free up some cash each month - with some mortgage providers you can extend your mortgage term at any time, even if you're within your eg 5 year fixed term. So say for example you are 2 years into a 5 year fixed, with a 2.5% interest rate over 20 years, you can go to the bank anytime and say you want to extend your mortgage term to eg 35 years. You'll still be committed to the 2.5% interest rate, but it reduces your monthly payment.

Not all providers offer this with no penalties but ours does (Nationwide) so that may help in the short term.

Oh I see. Bloody student loans

What about tutoring? We pay £40 an hour for a level tuition from a local teacher who is a head of department.