To be permanently skint, despite being on a good salary?

[cherriesandapplesandberries]

On paper, we have a good combined income of around £85,000, although it varies slightly and can even go up to around 90 on a good year.

But we seem to be permanently skint, and I don’t mean not much money, I mean absolutely nothing in the bank accounts, scrabbling round for loose change, stressing about how we will get to work, skint. This isn’t a begging thread by the way, I know sometimes people post on MN wanting others to offer them money and I don’t, I’m just trying to explain how it is.

We do have debts, loans and credit cards plus obviously the mortgage, childcare fees, cars which cost then obviously the needs of a growing family.

I know back when I was a young ‘un I’d have fallen about laughing at the idea my current salary isn’t enough to live on, but I just seem to be struggling all of the time!

@Reallybadidea Simple, the OP is not being truthful to make her situation seem worse than it actually is.

And I know a few teachers who tutor at the weekend to make extra money. It is perfectly possible to take a second job to boost income, if you want to.

Where am I not being truthful karen

To be honest this is why I didn’t want to get into figures, the thread is going to turn into an argument now.

karen I will say this to you honestly, our situation is better than most peoples and I am grateful for it. But I am conscious we have no savings, nothing for our children’s future. That does worry me and I was wanting to talk about it.

Tutoring is a good idea.

Following with interest

Don't be a dick Karen.

OP I reckon this would be a great time of year to start tutoring, with all the year 11 and 13s getting their mock results and their parents panicking

@OllyBJolly Yes agree if you really can't afford your lifestyle you need to cut back, and that may include children's hobbies.
But I do suspect sometimes people posting about how skint they are on decent wages are actually able to manage and don't have to cut back, they just want to pretend to be poor because the real issue is entitlement.

Yes and no karen

Our children are still very young. We do pay for swimming for them but that’s part of a whole family membership and I think that’s important. However, they don’t do anything else.

This is partly one of my worries, that in the years to come I do want them to dance and do sport and to learn music. I do want them to go to university and enjoy it. I want to be able to get a tutor if they are struggling. At the moment I can’t afford that.

If OP is Scottish (no idea) pension contributions on that salary are more (off top of my head I think around 11.5%) and we pay more tax.

@cherriesandapplesandberries The amount of take home pay you are saying is too low on the salaries you say you have, even when a teacher's pension contributions are deducted. You have ignored multiple people saying this.
It is fine, you don't have to be truthful, it is your life. But it does make it clear that this thread is about gaining sympathy.

Not Scottish no and quite grateful I’m not now! Nice accent though

Well it’s simple you are spending more than you have. Whether you earn 20k or 85k this is basic you need to know outgoings and what’s coming in.

However, your not going to get a lot of sympathy if your joint income is £85k- you must be irresponsible to be on that and skint.

It's obvious where your money is going but where is dh's?

Is the mortgage and bills using all his money or does he have some left? That's the key question here.

No it’s not ‘simple’ widow because some things have to be paid for.

He has nothing left. Mortgage, bills and joint costs like groceries and so on.

@cherriesandapplesandberries Sorry the posts about hobbies were about another poster who was talking about being skint but spending a lot on hobbies and birthdays. Obviously that is not really an issue for tiny children.
Yes children do get more expensive as they get older, but childcare costs usually go down. I pay childcare, but as it is only afterschool it is way less than we used to pay.

Meh I get it . I could sit here and get all high and mighty how we don't even earn half of what OP's joint income is and we also have childcare,mortgage,debts etc.

However our mortgage is a third of hers and childcare costs are £20 a week. We only have one old car that OH uses for work and so on. With the same outgoings and her income we'd be set .

What you need to look at OP is how any of those costs will change in the future. Debt,childcare costs etc. If any money gets freed up put it in savings at least for a while rather than extra money to spend. You manage somehow now without it, try and manage a bit longer in the future so you have a safety net.

Do keep having a look around at where some savings or changes can be made just in case,especially childcare wise as it's such a waste to pay when you don't really have to.

Joint costs like groceries? So you do have more than £500 a month for groceries and other expenditure then.

OP decide if you do actually want to change your spending habits or not. If you do there is lots of advice out there. If not, accept this is how it will be for a long time.

So your breakdown where obviously you don't have enough to cover the bills is contributed by some of dh's additional contribution, groceries etc.
We still don't know how essential, these essential costs are.

You could have an income of £5million, but if your outgoings equal or exceed that, you'll be skint. So you're just spending equal or more than you earn - you need to look at your outgoings, because £80k should be more than enough to live comfortably on.

I just echo PP: You need to do a budget and Statement of Accounts - all income (after deductions) and all outgoings. Track your daily outgoings, you may be surprised as often the small spending adds up to more than you think. Go on moneysavingexpert.com, tons of advice and resources there. Take on board all the advice above - eg change suppliers, cut out all non-essentials, downgrade on brands etc.

You mention loans, debts, credit cards - but these are all made up of expenditures, what are all those expenditures?

Childcare costs before the children hit school are eye watering.
I think people forget as their own children get older just how much money gets sucked up by childcare.

YABU, how ridiculous.

Also the poster who said this thread is a good indication if what it is like having kids, if you are good with money, save before your kids come, if they are planned. It will stand you in good stead. And make sure you pay off any debt.

Bloody hell karen

£500 a month (from my salary) does not go on groceries. It goes on filling my car with petrol (about £200) phone (20) credit cards (at least £150) and my share of the groceries (about £200)

@cherriesandapplesandberries
So sorry to hear things are so tight financially, it sounds like the loans ending in the near future will be highly helpful as this is the short term borrowing which is eating up a large chunk of your income.

I am sure you have already looked into
It and sorry for offering advice but just make sure your on the lowest rate credit cards and loan options so your not paying any more in interest than you need to.

Also depending on many factors which I agree are completely private a debt consolidation loan may also help
Provide relief and prevent you being so stretched and perhaps even leave you with the option of saving for Emergancy situations rather than if the worst was to happen having to rely on your credit cards

If your not sure were to start a joint financial
Health check was very beneficial for me and my husband With out bank

Good luck op

If you wanted to actually cut costs, get rid of credit cards.