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AIBU?

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Original poster

What do you do when your partner has upset you?

83 replies

Loveliveexplore · 09/01/2020 17:53

Posting here for traffic. Just wondering how you ladies act when your parter has upset you in someway, and what reaction have you found works to make him realise his wrong and change his behaviour? I'm not talking about big situations like cheating etc, just when your not too fond of his behaviour is some aspect?

Interested to hear replies.

OP posts:
MonstranceClock · 09/01/2020 17:54

Talk to him. Because we’re both adults

kitk · 09/01/2020 17:55

What @MonstranceClock said. What else would you do? Confused

Babyg1995 · 09/01/2020 17:57

Talk to him and tell him why I'm upset and try and come to an understanding.

Toothypegg · 09/01/2020 17:59

I have a noise that indicates this to him. It sounds like this:

"You've upset me."

AllergicToAMop · 09/01/2020 17:59

Talk to him. Because we’re both adults

Yup
drink that beer he's been saving in a fridge because I am not THAT adult

AllergicToAMop · 09/01/2020 17:59

What do you do @Loveliveexplore?

iklboo · 09/01/2020 17:59

Talk to him. Explain why I'm upset. Anything else is pretty childish.

ShirleyPhallus · 09/01/2020 18:00

Talk to him. Because we’re both adults

Another vote

Sometimes if one of us has just irritated the other one we will go and smother the other one in kisses and be generally more annoying and it always breaks the ice

But we rarely have arguments because we always talk about stuff before it gets to that stage

MonstranceClock · 09/01/2020 18:00

Were you looking for the oh so funny stories of childish games that a lot of couples play OP?

KellyHall · 09/01/2020 18:00

What has he actually done?

Low level - tell him he's being a dick and laugh

Upset me but not enough to cry - ask him how he'd feel if I'd said that to him

Really upset me - tell him to fuck off until he can be nice to me

Really upset me time and again - tell him to move out

Scarsthelot · 09/01/2020 18:03

I dont do anything. If he is being a dick, I tell him and leave him to it. As he is an adult he will either realise he was being a dick or come speak to me about what the issue is.

Just like, when I am a dick.

What behaviours are you talking about? Because, you may not a like a certain behaviour, but that doesnt make it wrong

YasssKween · 09/01/2020 18:03

@toothypegg

I have a noise that indicates this to him. It sounds like this:

"You've upset me"

Grin
Scarsthelot · 09/01/2020 18:04

I have a noise that indicates this to him. It sounds like this:

Is he a dog?

NoCleanClothes · 09/01/2020 18:05

Probably just wait until we're calm then explain why I was upset and ask him to do something differently next time.

OneMoreRound · 09/01/2020 18:06

Communicate

I tell him exactly how I am perceiving his behaviour, the effects experienced from his behaviour and how I expect it to change.

But this is all very general. It would really depend on the context and circumstances of said behaviour.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 09/01/2020 18:07

Yep, I also converse.

madcatladyforever · 09/01/2020 18:07

When I had a husband I used to tell him that he had upset me or that he needed to step up as we are equals and one of us isn't a maid.
He would listen carefully and there would be fuck all change.
Divorce was inevitable.

Original poster
Loveliveexplore · 09/01/2020 18:08

Well right now I'm a bit upset with him and I'm not ready to talk about it yet, I've told him I'm upset and he knows why but I don't feel ready to discuss it yet. So I'm being respectful but distant. Not being my usual self with him, not talking to him unless neccesary... not out of trying to play game but just because this is how I'm feeling right now while I'm processing it in my head. And to my surprise he seems to be actively trying to make amends, whereas when I usually talk his head off about things his reaction isn't as proactive as its been this time.

OP posts:
LakieLady · 09/01/2020 18:10

I start off by telling him not to be a cunt.

Then I explain, calmly and politely, why his behaviour has upset me and how it has made me feel.

He was being a thoughtless twat the other week, and I told him I'd be glad when the Christmas break was over and I could go back to work where I actually felt valued. That really shocked him and he was profusely apologetic and actually admitted he was thoughtless and unkind.

I'll have to remember that one. He's been really nice for a fortnight or so.

AllergicToAMop · 09/01/2020 18:11

I'm not talking about big situations like cheating etc, just when your not too fond of his behaviour is some aspect

This and your last post don't really work together. Stop being drama llama

GiveHerHellFromUs · 09/01/2020 18:14

Well what's he actually done?

Bluntness100 · 09/01/2020 18:14

I just tell him he's pissed me off,,why and to stop.

What else is there to be done?

Bluntness100 · 09/01/2020 18:15

Sorry you're not ready to discuss it on mumsnet? Confused

Scarsthelot · 09/01/2020 18:16

What did he actually do?

Because if it's fairly small and my do was acting like you, I would take myself off out for the evening

Shoxfordian · 09/01/2020 18:16

What's he done? I talk to my husband if he upsets me