What do you do when your partner has upset you?

[Loveliveexplore]

Posting here for traffic. Just wondering how you ladies act when your parter has upset you in someway, and what reaction have you found works to make him realise his wrong and change his behaviour? I'm not talking about big situations like cheating etc, just when your not too fond of his behaviour is some aspect?

Interested to hear replies.

Starting to think he's a manchild

I've told him I'm upset and he knows why but I don't feel ready to discuss it yet. So I'm being respectful but distant. Not being my usual self with him, not talking to him unless neccesary...

Anything involving the silent treatment or "respectful distance" is passive aggressive. Very hard to not do it at times but also quite toxic and not the most productive. Talk it out with him. This is not about having the upper hand this is about having a healthy relationship.

@Spacedust1, mine does that too, it's horrible. I feel like I can't say anything now as he will turn it back on me and go on and on until I wish I'd never spoken.
Then he sulks for days.

Well I told mine to disappear up hid own arse and fuck off.

Worked for me!!

@Spacedust1 you deserve better.

Sounds like you’re playing games and sulking. For me it depends, if it something small I call him a twat. Actually if it’s something big I call him a twat too 🤔 then we talk about why he’s being a twat and he apologises and makes it up to me. If I upset him we talk about and we always sort things out quickly.

@WoodliceInSunderland and you’re with him because?? You deserve better than that

What were the issues?

I withhold sexual favours, which I indicate by wearing a pair of pyjamas that he hates. I also spend ages batch cooking and then sprinkle nut garnish over everything (he’s mildly allergic).

@forinstance that made me LOL. Love this.

@WoodliceInSunderland I'm sorry you are experiencing this too. It's horrid isn't it....am just deciding whether to ditch him....

@Greeni you are right, I definitely do

I usually clean round the taps with his toothbrush and then I feel better.

Clean round the taps with his toothbrush? That's brutal but brilliant!

What does he do if he needs to make you realise you are in the wrong?

Sorry posted too soon. Does he sulk, shout, talk calmly.? Do you take it on board. Maybe that might be a starting point.

How long have you been giving him the silent treatment for then?

I normally calming say “I don’t like that/what you’ve said, it’s upset me” and walk away for us both to think about it

Just tell him. In a calm and composed way. If I scream and shout he walks away and doesn't listen. Just talk to him how I would want to be spoke to.

I hate threads like this so much. I used to piss my husband off sometimes, because we’re human beings and that just what happens! If I found out he was using my toothbrush to clean the taps or putting food I had an allergy too on my food, I’d have fucking left him!

Just a few days but it's not the silent treatment because I'm responding to HIM and talking when necessary. If you read through all my replies you will get a clearer picture. I don't feel good about it but Ive tried to communicate my feelings to him on more than one occasion recently and feel he hasn't taken it seriously. So much so that now I feel reluctant to communicate. But I will when I'm ready.

Personally I like to cook myself something incredible and amazing with all the trimmings. Nice bit of steak, pepper sauce, loaded jacket potato heaped with cheese and sour cream, maybe a bit of steamed broccoli, dressed salad. Lovely big glass of red wine. Pudding and cheese. Tune into something I really want to watch or listen to. Have a fabulous five star experience.

Then clear everything away and when he walks in and says "wow, something smells good", just ignore and pretend nothing ever happened and watch him being really confused because it smells like the fucking Ivy and there's nothing for him to eat.

Oh yes. Revenge is a dish best served to oneself with ALL the trimmings.

Sicario...best idea ever.

Depends on how annoying he has been.

Low level: use his razor on my armpits, use his toothbrush to clean the toilet
Medium level: piss in his tea, crap in his toolbox
High level: shag his brother, stab him in his sleep.

@Sicario love this!

@fartooskinny - have you ever actually done any of that or is that just what your imagination wants to do 😎 because i know in my mind I've done awful things to DH when mad! Lol

My friend used to take her husband's toothbrush and rub it around the edge of cat's litter tray then put it back in its holder. She told me she could barely hold it together when she heard him brushing his teeth after he'd pissed her off.

It's rare we row but when we do it's not always him that's the arsehole. It can be me. We've never gone to bed angry with each other and even the times when it's not resolved, we've usually spoke enough to agree to continue tomorrow and after an hour or so of stewing on it the person being the arsehole has usually apologised.

I wouldn't use his toothbrush in the toilet or to clean cat litter because there's a good chance he'd kiss our child goodnight or even kiss myself as we never go to bed raging with each other. Even if the issue isn't resolved, a kiss on the cheek and "love you" always happens.

I think I'd genuinely leave him if I found out that when there's an issue he uses my toothbrush to clean the cat litter tray or spikes my food with stuff he knows I'm allergic to.