What do you do when your partner has upset you?

[Loveliveexplore]

Posting here for traffic. Just wondering how you ladies act when your parter has upset you in someway, and what reaction have you found works to make him realise his wrong and change his behaviour? I'm not talking about big situations like cheating etc, just when your not too fond of his behaviour is some aspect?

Interested to hear replies.

I tell him. However if he disagrees that I should be upset and thinks he's done nothing wrong that's when I struggle.

I don't see the point in carrying on discussing it as he will maintain his position and me mine. So I prefer to drop it and move on. He finds this quite frustrating.

In these instances I go for a long walk or absent myself info another room and fume a bit until it's out of my system.

I don't bother to communicate anymore. I take myself away from him either mentally or physically. There is absolutely no point in communicating with someone like my DP. He turns it round or completely stonewalls me. As my dad has said "you can't reason with unreasonable" so I don't bother anymore. Eventually I get over it and as he is emotionally barren nothing has changed for him just the way he likes it! Me in my box.

Sorry OP that you're upset, I understand that you're not game playing. If you haven't dealt with someone who won't communicate then your approach is how I deal with things. And DP is happy because he has got what he wants, no communication. It's shit. I hope it improves for you.

YABU - if a man come in here and he was treating his wife in this manner you’d be gas lighting him.

Talk to your husband and stop playing the games as, as much as you say you aren’t you very much are!

@HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend how's she gaslighting him?

I dont think you're giving the silent treatment or "being abusive" as has been subtly suggested.

When my husband upsets me (which isn't often) I feel like shit, usually tired, under appreciated and low priority. It means I'm in a low mood and dont want to talk. I will in basic terms but not our usual fun banter. I'm not doing it to punish him but because I feel down. Usually it just takes a few hours and I'm back to normal

You need to balance your communication by being clear and then giving him time to process, nothing is achieved by talking someone's head off - they go in to information overload mode and switch off.

it's not the silent treatment because I'm responding to HIM and talking when necessary.

That is a form of the silent treatment. It's a sign that your relationship has disintegrated way beyond what is healthy.

Talk to him, or split up. If you've genuinely reached the stage where you don't want to talk and don't feel it'll do any good anyway, it's already over.

Thanks @sofast and @Forgivemenot - it really is frustrating.