If you were going out, would you tell your partner an exact time you were coming home?

[GirlOnIt]

Sorry long title, couldn't think how to word it.
But if you were going out somewhere, would you generally tell your partner/spouse exactly what time you'd be back, a more general "I'll be a few hours" or nothing at all?

We have young children and I'm pressuring that changes things slightly, also if other plans/commitments would require an exact time I get that's different. But in general on a day to day, going to the shops or a few drinks, what would you do?

No I wouldn't say. It's just asking for an argument if you stay out longer than intended.

An estimate. If I was going to be much later I’d phone.

It depends on where I was going. I'd at least say "before dinner" or "after bedtime".

It really depends. If I was leaving DH with the kids I would tell him as accurately as I could how long I'd be out out of common courtesy. Sometimes I might not be sure exactly when I'll be back and sometimes DH will need me back by a certain time as he has plans and I'll make sure I am.

(Obviously DH does the same when he goes out).

A very close estimate and if either of us is running late we call or text.

I tell my husband the time I plan to be in but he always knows it’ll be about 2 hours later than that because my friend and I never shut up. He knows I’m safe so doesn’t really worry about it

Begging for trouble to be so specific. Stuff happens, you get delayed. We usually give a ballpark. If DH is out in the next city, he'll tell me which train he's getting and I can figure it out from there. If he decides to get a different train, he'll drop me a message. I offer him the same courtesy. Generally most people have a rough idea of when they'll be back. That's good enough.

Yes, if dh was with the dc doing the childcare, I would let him know when I’d be back. I think it’s a respectful thing to do. We’re both busy and it’s quite possible he might have planned to be somewhere around when I would be back. I expect the same.

Usually I'll say I'm aiming to be on a certain train but will update if I'm going to be later/earlier. Either way when I get home DD will be in bed and he'll be happily running around planets with his mates on the xbox.

I used to walk out the door and shout to my husband “see you at some point this week!”

I tell my husband the time I plan to be in but he always knows it’ll be about 2 hours later than that because my friend and I never shut up. He knows I’m safe so doesn’t really worry about it

Oh this when I'm with certain friends. If I'm with them, I go dark and get back when I get back. He knows it's because we're so busy yammering that no-one looks at their phone (which is the way it should be!)

Yes I would say. If I didn’t know I’d give an idea e.g. ‘I’m planning to get the x train; if it changes I’ll let you know’

If I was coming in late and sleeping in the spare room as I know everyone would already be in bed I wouldn’t bother saying - just that it would be very late.

Sorry, assumed you meant in the evening. We generally discuss plans anyway so if he was going out later then I'd make sure I was back and vice versa.

But in general on a day to day, going to the shops Not shopping, I'll be back when the shopping is done

or a few drinks If I was on a night out I would give DH a rough estimate, just so he didn't worry about me. If I decided to stay out longer I'd just call or text him to say something like "having fun, going stay out maybe another hour, will be back around 11pm-ish"

I think its only common decency to give your partner a rough idea.

I give a general ball-park time, that way I can’t be held to account for being later

Only because I'm on a schedule atm. I went out with some friends for a birthday mid December, we went to the pub and then they went on into town (I'm not a huge fan of clubbing, much rather stay at the pub and I'm also expressing - my schedule) I told dh if be home before 11 as I needed to express, but if I wasn't expressing, I'd have just said I'd be a few hours.

No I don’t. DH doesn’t wait up for me either.

If for some reason I did say a time, then I would text if running late.

Usually an estimate. See you in a hour, back on last train etc. I do call or text on my way back just to keep him up to date. He does the same.

I have the unwritten rule with my DH if he going out not to give me any expectations...easier that way. We don’t even really text each other when he is out! He is s very social person and won’t be looking at the phone and if he’s having a good time then he won’t be home by ‘9’
As long as he gets the last train back or gets himself home at a fairly decent time it works out better for both of us. I don’t get worked up and he doesn’t have to lie and go on the defensive.
I usually get a text saying on train but that’s about it!

My whole family does this method
Back in a bit - won't be longer than an hour
Back later - might be longer than a few hours

Also, during the day, no we don't really say. Again, there might be a rough estimate, but in the example above of shopping, I'll be back when I'm back. If you don't need me specifically for anything, then, I'll see you when I do.

Not an exact time no, that's a bit too anal for me. I'd maybe maybe say, I'll be back about twelve or something, but more often I text I'm in the taxi or on the train and back by x time when I'm on my way home.

I tend to just give a general idea. If I'm meeting certain people he tends to know I'll be back later then I say and vice versa. I'll only give/request specific time if dinner arrangements require it.

A guesstimate, I'd phone if I was missing a meal and that wasn't the plan. Evening out we both go out without expectations on when we'd be home. But of course have said back at midnight and rolled home at 4am. We're both easy going.