If you were going out, would you tell your partner an exact time you were coming home?

[GirlOnIt]

Sorry long title, couldn't think how to word it.
But if you were going out somewhere, would you generally tell your partner/spouse exactly what time you'd be back, a more general "I'll be a few hours" or nothing at all?

We have young children and I'm pressuring that changes things slightly, also if other plans/commitments would require an exact time I get that's different. But in general on a day to day, going to the shops or a few drinks, what would you do?

Thank you, I think the general consensus is to give a rough estimate. Which is what we tend to do.
Dp is going out tonight to football and he said he'll go for a few drinks after but won't be late. I'll expect him home, no later than pub closing time. So I wouldn't be really impressed if he went off to a night club until the early hours without letting me know but otherwise I'm not expecting any further updates or anything.

Not exact times, but I might say “should be home by X”, or “going for a run, I’ll be about 45 minutes”, something like that. If it seems I’ll be much later I’ll call or text to update; in the case of going for a run it’s a safety thing. If I say 45 minutes but an hour has passed and I’ve not made contact he’ll check I’m alright (accidents can happen!)

No, but I remember being a bit 'so.... are you going to be gone for one hour, or one hour or a half, or two hours, or what?....' when we had toddlers.

Now that we have teenagers we're very breezy about it.

If I needed to be back for something then I'd give a time otherwise it's just general info as to whether I'm planning a late one or not but we generally keep in touch anyway so it's not much of an issue

No dh and I never give times unless we really need to like if we have plans or one of us has to get to work/where ever etc. Your setting yourself up to get annoyed if the person isn’t back on time. I’d hate always running to a schedule. If I dh doesn’t need me back or vice versa then I do whatever I want and I’ll see you when I’m back. Same for nights out (almost of the time we go out together tho) we’lol see each other when one stumbles in, if I want to go for a kebab after a night out I will I’m a adult who can do what they want not a child with a curfew. If one is cooking dinner we might text each other leaving work around x time but that’s about it.

Rough estimates are ok. And then if that changes I’ll update. Is there a reason you’re being so specific about pub closing time though OP? Surely if he stays til it closes he’ll be home a little bit later?

No @loobyloo1234. I posted more thinking about what I do. I'm not even sure what time the pub closes tonight. He's usually home around 10, but I wouldn't be concerned or bothered if it was 11/12. After that I admit I'd wonder where he was. That's on a work night, few drinks not him going out, out.

We are ‘I’ll see you later’ kinda people

If one of us needs to be back for something we would say be back before "xx" but if it's a night out we just come in when we come in. If he's out it doesn't make a difference to me whether he's in at 12 or 4, I'll be asleep either way!

Just out of interest OP, why would it bother you if he went out after the football?

Sorry I meant after the pub

An estimate. If I was going to be much later I’d phone.

^I do this

We don't normally give a time roughly or otherwise of when we will be back. I usually say if I'm not home it's because I'm staying at so-so place.
I'm usually fast asleep in bed when he gets home anyway, as he is when I get home.

Nope - he always tells me to take a key, though more often than not he’s awake when I get home.

It doesn't @baubled. He's going out after football. I meant if he decided to go off on a all nighter when he'd said he'd be home after a few. No problem with him doing that if he text and said, so I wasn't expecting him back and would know he'd be of no help with the baby and Ds through the night/in the morning.

I wasn't posting because I'm not happy with what Dp does.

I would say a general time (ie 11pm) but would always let them know if I'm going to be late & when I'm on my way home. It's just basic manners imo!

Yes, we give a rough estimation. DH doesn't really do mobiles so never expect him to text or call.

If I leave him at the pub I expect him in bed next to me when I wake up next morning.

I tend to give a window. For example, I’ll be home between 11 and 1
Then I will call or text if I will be more than a half hour before or after the window.

Not usually. I just assume I’ve got the evening to myself and go to bed when I feel like it and he’s there when I wake up! I do ask if he’ll be eating if I’m cooking but that’s it and that’s more about what time he’s going rather than coming back.

If childcare depends on it then I try to be as precise as possible (I hate being late!) but if it's social/DH home with child then just a rough time. DH is the same.

No I tell him I’ll be back “when I’m back” he isn’t bothered when I’m back as long as I have had a good night! He’s very easy going!!

No, but I tend to go out for the same reasons in the evening and take a similar sort of time each time so he can easily guess a rough idea.

I think id probably say something like 'a few hours', or 'back probably around 11ish' and then call if it was going to be radically different

An estimate time (12/12:30), I'd definitely call if I was going to be later. DP does the same although he is more chilled than me, admittedly.

Half the time I dont even tell him where I am going, other than off out with x and y see you later.

Yes I would give an estimate and call if it ended up being much later. We also have an unwritten rule when one of us is going out in the evening that (unless we said before we left) we will call if going to be later than mid-night. Otherwise the other person can get worried that something has happened.