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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boys in ballet - really fucking annoyed

569 replies

Boyscandoballettoo · 09/01/2020 07:33

Please excuse the ranty tone of this thread - I have just had enough! Took my male toddler to a ballet class, and the number of negative comments or comments laughing about it from so-called family and friends has been overwhelming.

Please can people tell me AIBU to think it’s a bloody unisex sport?!? There have always been male ballet dancers! I do NOT understand the ignorance over it and even if it were a female sport traditionally, how dare people be so bloody sexist and make fun of a boy for joining in.

I don’t know why but it’s really pushing my buttons!

OP posts:
MissKittyBeaudelais · 09/01/2020 10:33

I can say that dancers, professional classically trained ballet dancers who achieve a level where they work professionally are superb athletes. Growing up in boarding (ballet school) from age 10 and going on to the upper school and dancing in the company, I can absolutely say that the level of fitness/ability/physical peak required is equal to any Olympic athlete. Do not doubt it.

RusselHoward · 09/01/2020 10:33

PhilSwagielka men don't do pointe in classical ballet but they have to do the holds and lifts in awkward positions so just as demanding (if not more so!)

PhilSwagielka · 09/01/2020 10:34

They do. I just googled it and Dion Dublin did ballet exercises to help him recover from an injury. It makes sense because you have to be flexible to do ballet, and stretching helps your muscles warm up.

MissKittyBeaudelais · 09/01/2020 10:35

Get them to watch Billy Elliot. The film. And boys have the advantage that there are fewer of them so, if they ARE talented they are more likely to achieve a career in ballet.

PhilSwagielka · 09/01/2020 10:35

@RusselHoward I thought not. Hence my comment about male dancers having to be strong so they can lift ballerinas! Ice dancers as well. Didn't Dean lift Torvill during their Bolero routine?

Chesneyhawkes1 · 09/01/2020 10:35

Look at male ballet dancers physiques and then say it's not a sport! It's incredibly demanding.

81Byerley · 09/01/2020 10:36

My Grandson was the only boy in his ballet class. Nobody batted an eyelid when he insisted on being dressed like the other children. Ballet dancers are immensely strong athletes, and I think the comments you have received are a throwback to the awful homophobic days I remember, when it was assumed that male dancers were gay, only they didn't use such a polite term. I definitely think you should call them out on it. Make them squirm as they try to explain to you exactly what they mean.

Dontdisturbmenow · 09/01/2020 10:37

My DS did ballet for a couple of years. He was just bored of seating and watching his sister so decided to join. He was the only boy amongst 15 girls. He enjoyed it. He gave it up at 7 to take up football.

I never had a negative comment about it, on the opposite.

sonypony · 09/01/2020 10:37

I’d just ignore/shrug or say Something boring like yes he enjoys it thanks.

Boys in ballet - really fucking annoyed
MissKittyBeaudelais · 09/01/2020 10:38

Lifting and holding isn’t so difficult. The strength required to achieve the technique standard, attend class, rehearse and perform day after day is the hard bit! 😊

Madcats · 09/01/2020 10:40

DD's classmate did tap and ballet with her until he was about 10. Nobody teased him and, as the classes progressed, the kids enjoyed comparing the different steps/skills. The bigger dance school here has plenty of boys (possibly because they have a history of getting children into West End musicals and touring productions).

I sent my daughter to dance age 4 1/2 so she made some friends outside of school and learned to follow instructions (sometimes).

MissKittyBeaudelais · 09/01/2020 10:42

Here’s Sergei Polunin ... 😉

Original poster
Boyscandoballettoo · 09/01/2020 10:42

He's a toddler it's just for fun surely

Of course. But I would say the same about horse riding or rugby or painting - anything he likes I would love him to find a passion in.

OP posts:
ChocolateTeapots1 · 09/01/2020 10:46

I wouldn't let it bother me, it's just not a traditional boys sport that's all. I wouldn't send my son as there are other sports that are better for keeping fit, plus my husband who is very sporty would rather he did an actual sport.

ChocolateTeapots1 · 09/01/2020 10:48

(The keeping fit comment was more about if they carry on the sport, toddlers obviously aren't going to be put through their paces!)

Arthritica · 09/01/2020 10:48

My son was offered free ballet lessons with Northern Ballet age 11 - they did an outreach programme to Y6 kids to encourage boys into dance. Of the 3 boys in his school offered the lessons, he was the only one who took them up. There was some teasing in school until the teacher pointed out footballers do ballet training too.

He had a great time.

RusselHoward · 09/01/2020 10:51

I wouldn't send my son as there are other sports that are better for keeping fit,

Have you read this thread? Name one...

AryaStarkWolf · 09/01/2020 10:51

My dancers compete...they train like athletes. Most of them have never performed in a theatre

OK? Still wouldn't consider it a sport, unless you consider all dance a sport? I would consider it dance like Irish Dancing (which is also highly competitive and athletic) Not considering it a sport isn't an insult btw, people seem to be taking it as one

IdblowJonSnow · 09/01/2020 11:01

Yanbu. It's a very old fashioned and ignorant mindset they must have to be commenting like that.
Ignore and crack on.

CosmoK · 09/01/2020 11:04

I happen to teach Irish dancing. At a competitive level it's a sport without a doubt.

The dictionary definition is

an activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment

Now tell me dance isn't a sport?

AryaStarkWolf · 09/01/2020 11:06

Now tell me dance isn't a sport?

Dance isn't a sport

ParsleyPot · 09/01/2020 11:06

You are doing the right thing taking him.

My DSs did ballet when they were ore-school age (they're now teens). They were the only boys there, which surprised me.

Like you, I had frequent raised eyebrows from family members and friends.

They gave the classes up, mainly because of the comments of girls at school, which I found really sad.

Cantdoleft · 09/01/2020 11:06

Why are so many people saying it's not competitive?! Ex-dance teacher here who stopped teaching due to the massive amounts of time required to train students for competitions, plus giving up pretty much every Sunday for taking them to the competitions and/or judging there!

Well, honestly I have never see. Or heard of a ballet competition, but have obviously seen ballroom etc. Doesn’t make them a sport though.

People saying ballet dancers are althetic and very fit - agreed. Still not a sport though.

Ballet helps with some sports like football - agreed. Still not a sport though.

A “sport” doesn’t necessarily require fitness or athletic ability hence the examples of pool and darts before. A sport needs you to be able to score points against set rules and parameters more than someone else, or do something faster/ longer/higher than someone else. For some sports this requires great athleticism.

My kids play in a rock band and they sometimes go to competitions and get judged against other groups so it’s competitive. Doesn’t make it a sport though.

YummyChipCurryDip · 09/01/2020 11:07

At least some of the laughs will be at the thought of any 18-month-old doing ballet

I absolutely think this. Ballet in a nappy! It's cute and amusing. Would make anyone raise a smile.

babynewt · 09/01/2020 11:08

He could be a Billy Elliot!