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AIBU?

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Original poster

Boys in ballet - really fucking annoyed

569 replies

Boyscandoballettoo · 09/01/2020 07:33

Please excuse the ranty tone of this thread - I have just had enough! Took my male toddler to a ballet class, and the number of negative comments or comments laughing about it from so-called family and friends has been overwhelming.

Please can people tell me AIBU to think it’s a bloody unisex sport?!? There have always been male ballet dancers! I do NOT understand the ignorance over it and even if it were a female sport traditionally, how dare people be so bloody sexist and make fun of a boy for joining in.

I don’t know why but it’s really pushing my buttons!

OP posts:
CosmoK · 09/01/2020 12:46

You seem very offended that I don't consider it a sport? I don't know why that's coming over as some sort of insult? Until today I've never heard anyone refer to any sort of dance as a sport. I would just have thought that Dance is it's own category, my niece dances competitively in irish dancing at a really high level, never heard her call it sport either -shrug-

Arya TBH it does come across as an insult especially when you see how hard these dancers work and the level of aestheticism required. it is very undermining. It is the very definition of a sport. I've been involved in competitive irish dance since i was 5 and and it absolutely is considered a sport in the organisation i'm registered with and there are literally dozen of articles referring to it as a sport.

It might not be used as a reference in everyday language but ask any competitive irish dancer if the consider it a sport and the answer would overwhelmingly be a yes.

CosmoK · 09/01/2020 12:52

I think the difference between competing in dance and competing in other sports is the end game. Apart from ballroom and possibly freestyle the end aim of dance is performance. Dancers who compete generally do so in order for the same reasons as musicians might enter a competition. To get an idea of their standard amongst their peers, get an independent crit from an adjudicator and at the higher levels to get themselves noticed by artistic directors/gain scholarships for professional training

Whereas in sports the end game is the competitin itself whether it be a local league or the olympics

You are so very wrong. My dancers are in it solely for the competitive element. They are working towards local, national and world championships. It's all about the competition. We don't ever do shows as we're always training for the next competition.

TiddyTid · 09/01/2020 12:55

You can't fix stupid, OP.

Ballet is an beautiful art, which needs talent, endurance, dedication and strength.

annualleavepurchase · 09/01/2020 12:55

I don't know why 'sport' seems to be seen as superior to 'dance' or 'art' it's not superior.

Cantdoleft · 09/01/2020 12:56

You are so very wrong. My dancers are in it solely for the competitive element. They are working towards local, national and world championships. It's all about the competition. We don't ever do shows as we're always training for the next competition.

I know singers the same. Doesn’t make singing a sport though.

The definition of a sport is very simple. I really don’t get what the confusion is?

No form of dance is a sport. That doesn’t mean it’s not athletic or requires great fitness or determination. Just simply that it isn’t a sport so people shouldn’t call it one.

It’s a physical and artistic activity upon which you can be judged against others or you can just do for fun - it’s NOT a sport

Trewser · 09/01/2020 12:58

Agree it's not a sport. Not sure why that's a big deal? Noone is disputing that you have to be very fit to be a top level dancer.

CosmoK · 09/01/2020 12:58

I wouldn't send my son as there are other sports that are better for keeping fit, plus my husband who is very sporty would rather he did an actual sport

FFS....
Ever been to a dance class chocolate? I've been involved in all kinds of sport and nothing even come close to keeping me fit as dancing.
My DH is very sporty too but thankfully isn't a dinosuar and loves that our DS is a dancer.

AryaStarkWolf · 09/01/2020 13:00

I don't know why 'sport' seems to be seen as superior to 'dance' or 'art' it's not superior.

...

CosmoK · 09/01/2020 13:00

The definition of a sport is very simple

yes it is....
an activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment

Sounds like competitive dancing to me.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 09/01/2020 13:00

Male ballet dancers have to be incredibly fit and supple, and have tremendous cores strength.

I wouldn't be surprised if they have better general fitness than many athletes.

People should leave him alone - if he's enjoying it, why shouldn't he do it? (It will give him wonderful posture, too)

Rumboogie · 09/01/2020 13:01

Haven’t RTFT so someone may have mentioned, but ballet was introduced to Russia by Peter the Great as a standard of physical comportment to cultivate a new Russian people. It was used as physical training for Russian troops.

Trewser · 09/01/2020 13:01

I like sports that involve running around outside, and so do two of my dcs. Ballet is far too restrictive for us, which is probably what makes it so good for you!

nowaypose · 09/01/2020 13:03

My best friend is a professional dancer and ballet is a big part of that. He’s also six foot and built like a brick shit house so it does surprise people when he tells them Grin. Ignore the ignorant sods, they need to move with the times and visit the theatre more often.

DarlingNikita · 09/01/2020 13:06

You can certainly challenge them on it rather than letting tired views surrounding everyday sexism persist!
Indeed.

Ballet is far too restrictive for us, which is probably what makes it so good for you! What the actual does THAT mean Hmm

UYScuti · 09/01/2020 13:06

I'm sure Arnold Schwarzenegger did ballet

99victoria · 09/01/2020 13:18

@boyscandoballettoo

My son started doing ballet when he was nine. He had been doing tap dance classes for a year and he'd seen his younger sister doing it and decided he wanted to try it out. I admit to trying to put him off initially as he would have had to be in a class with girls much younger than him (since girls often start dancing at a younger age, all the eight year old girls were already in the higher grades). He was adamant that he wanted to do it and didn't care so he started classes.
A year later he successfully auditioned to join the Junior Associates programme at the Royal Ballet school and 2 years after that he secured a place at White Lodge and off he went to board there aged 11.
He went through the Upper School in Covent Garden as well and danced professionally in Europe and in England before retiring and re-training a few years ago. It was a fantastic life-changing opportunity for him
We were lucky that all our friends and family were incredibly supportive of him, including my dad who I was initially a bit worried about as he was very traditional. All the family were incredibly proud of him. He did get a bit of teasing at school but fortunately, he's very confident and was so committed to his dancing that he didn't let it bother him. His primary school celebrated his success, posting in their newsletter that he had gained a place at the RBS.
And, not that it matters, but he is also heterosexual :)

tillytrotter1 · 09/01/2020 13:24

I'm old enough to still remember Nureyev dancing the Corsair, the strength involved must have been phenominal. Many 'manly' sports teams use dance as a means of strengthening players.

Mumdiva99 · 09/01/2020 13:27

My son plays football and I can tell you there are still many comments about girls playing football.

Boys and girls can play on the same team but there are still many teams specifically for girls - which I do understand why - but I can't see why all teams don't specifically advertise for both boys and girls. As many people don't realise that teams can be mixed. And the only reason a girl should play for an all girl team is if she wants to. Not because she has to.

FramingDevice · 09/01/2020 13:28

Make friends with Sergei Polunin and bring him around to a family party, then tell him your friends and family think he’s effeminate and comical. Watch while he rips their heads off and spits in the holes. While doing a grand jeté.

Yolande7 · 09/01/2020 13:30

It is homophobia. Once someone actually told me he would not let his boy dance ballet, because he might turn out gay.

Physically speaking ballet definitely is a sport. Ballet dancers and gymnasts outperform other athletes when tested in endurance, flexibility, dynamic and static strength etc. A number of studies have been conducted over the years eg. www.thenewspaper.co.za/how-do-ballet-dancers-measure-up-to-other-athletes/

MissKittyBeaudelais · 09/01/2020 13:33

This is hilarious. Most people wouldn’t get through the warm up and barre of an average ballet class! It. Is. Exhausting.

Comefromaway · 09/01/2020 13:38

Ballet is far too restrictive for us, which is probably what makes it so good for you! What the actual does THAT mean hmm

Out of all the dance genres it is possibly the most precise, disciplined one. As you progress movement have to be incredibly precise with how you use each mucscle and attention to detail in all placement

Justkeeprollingalong · 09/01/2020 13:39

Sorry @stouffer - I've even seen the film and didn't twig!
I reacted to the 'posh kid' as in the 50's aunt was taken from an inner city slum to the stage by ballet and a kind hearted ballet teacher who saw her talent and didn't charge. Sense of humour fail, sorry 🤦🏻‍♀️

DarlingNikita · 09/01/2020 13:40

MissKittyBeaudelais, God yes! I go to Ballet Fit classes, obviously nothing like as demanding as actual ballet, and come out with legs like cooked spaghetti. And I also do yoga and Zumba and (think I am) fairly fit and strong!

Comefromaway, yes, I know. What I wondered about was the 'which is probably what makes it so good for you!' comment.

Rezie · 09/01/2020 13:40

I play football and many immediately jump to question my sexuality Crown Hmm

One of my fave moments was when a guy was flirting and found out about me playing football he immediately went "oh, didn't realise you were a lesbian" to which I responded "don't you do wrestling? So basically you keep your head between other guys legs when you are not on top of them cuddlin?". He walked off. If He wants to be a sexist ass, then i can give it back. Disclaimer: wrestling is a great sport and I don't actually view it that way.

The concept on what is sport is interesting. I 100% think dance is a sport but we've often wondered what the line is.

But you shouldn't be suprised. The world is homophobic, misogynistic and gender roles and what is appropriate for all genders is alive and well. But don't let it affect his enthusiasm for dance!