Am I right to be annoyed by this? (Cultural appropriation?)

[TheincredibleBookEatingManchot]

Or maybe I don't have the right to be annoyed?

A couple I know who are white British have named their dog a Sanskrit word, which is used in Hinduism and Buddhism. Also the woman wore a bindi at their wedding. Maybe it's just because I don't like this couple anyway so anything they do annoys me but I feel weirdly personally annoyed and kind of bitter about it.

I am ethnically half Indian but culturally completely white British and my Indian family were all Christians (and now atheists) so I have no claim on anything Indian/Hindu/Buddhist; it's not my culture they're appropriating.

But still I kind of feel like if I named my pet a word from an Indian language or started wearing bindis then my Britishness, my belonging in this country would be called into question, but this couple, with their pale skin and light hair are secure in their Britishness, no one's going to start questioning their identity or tell them to go "back" to India, so they get to use things from Indian culture to make themselves look interesting and exotic.

And I don't. But I don't want to. So am I unreasonable to be annoyed at them?

I don't think I've expressed myself very well but not really sure how to make myself clear.

Quite possibly I am unreasonable and this has nothing to do with me.

IMO cultural appropriation is bizarre self-flagellating nonsense, so IMO you are definitely unreasonable.

Do you consider it to be cultural appropriation for people from other continents to use things that were invented here? Computers? Cars? Etc? If so then IMO you’re nuts. And it works the other way round too.

My DH has also been told to "fuck off back to his own country" (also France) ...but it turns out they thought he was an asylum seeker

Jesus wept. Any reasonable person would be more welcoming if they did think he was an asylum seaker. Don't they realise the whole intent and motivation behind asylum? So much xenophobic, racist hatred in this country nowadays it's shameful. Nobody owns the country or should feel any personal right to a say in who does or doesn't make their life in it.

@Lilymossflower are you actually "mansplaining" cultural appropriation? Do you actually think we are unaware of what it is? Are you also assuming that everyone who has said the OP is being unreasonable is white?

I said after the original post that I thought she was being unreasonable, and I stand by that. She is nothing more than a Social Justice Warrior as I said earlier, as it is not her culture that she's complaining is being "culturally appropriated" and it's also worth noting, whilst you're mentioning "white privilege" that the op chooses to define herself as "white English culture"

Do you consider it to be cultural appropriation for people from other continents to use things that were invented here? Computers? Cars? Etc

Nobody is saying that. Absolutely nobody here is talking about cars.

@ladybee28

Duh...

Cultural appropriation is just one of the mass of ridiculous concepts being bandied about at the moment. It’s fucking rediculous.

Classic mumsnet shite, find something important to get bothered about @TheincredibleBookEatingManchot

If people in a minority feel hurt by something, the majority should listen. It's called being kind.

It's also horrible for the majority to scream there is no such thing as cultural appropriation, when the minority is saying 'but then why does it feel so wrong?'

As for the person who talked about food. Cooking different cultures' food at home is fine, it's when a white person makes money off selling a cook book of those recipes that it becomes cultural appropriation.

And to the person who said 'Is it only white people who do cultural appropriation?' No! It's a majority/minority thing. We've been pretty bad for it, though!

It is possible to hurt people's feelings without meaning to, but surely we should change and try not to once we realise?

Cultural appropriation is taken pretty seriously here in Canada- it's strange reading these posts of people seemingly ignorant of what it actually is. Kilts are not it.

Unfortunately roboticmom I think the British or more English culture is so entrenched in deciding what is right and wrong for others - it’s our history

It’s for the person who makes comments/takes actions to decide if they are offensive not for others to decide

Retroflex religion does not have a race, and there are many white Hindus and Buddhists.

I didn't have the word race or racist in my post. Didn't even think it. You are making things up that aren't there. Or arguing against someone else.

shoukd black people with naturally afto hair not straighten it? Worlds gone mad...

Afro! (And should) 😳

I voted yabu because you don’t know that they don’t have ties to something. My pale as fuck blonde niece’s dad is black, you would never know it, even though she looks like him! So you wouldn’t know just by chance and if she brought her Jamaican culture to her wedding I bet there’s be a lot of raised eyebrows but actually, she has more right to it than those raising their eyebrows!

I think you should get a life op.

Is that cultural appropriation or cultural appreciation ?

To those people comparing wearing a sari to wearing a suit, people who are not European did not appropriate suits. Western attire was forced on them when we colonised basically everywhere and told them to dress like 'civilised' people.

Just going to point out that this was what happened to the Scots in terms of wearing traditional dress and speaking Gaelic.
We didn't stop doing this stuff because we woke up one day and fancied a change.
It was outlawed and in some cases like Gaelic at school beaten out.

I still don't have a problem with English people wearing Kilts or giving their dogs Gaelic names.
I'm proud of my culture and happy to share it
(Although I still personally find calling your daughter MacKenzie a bit ridiculous)

@midwest
Apparently (so I’ve read upthread) kilts, and presumably other aspects of Scottish clan culture and identity, are open for everyone to use and that’s not cultural appropriation but bindis are exclusive

As robotic suggests, the lack of understanding on here is shocking.

If you can't see the difference between a black woman straightening her hair and a white non Hindu woman wearing a bindi then you don't understand what cultural appropriation is.

shoukd black people with naturally afto hair not straighten it?

Well, there's a good example. For decades black women HAVE been straightening their hair because in many arenas natural hair is seen as "unprofessional". Then white women start wearing dreads / braids / locs / fake afros because it "looks cool". So after decades and decades of being forced to hide their natural hair, black people are confronted with white people appropriating an important area of their culture which has been so heavily politicised in the past. Totally, totally different to a black person straightening their hair or wearing a suit (as a PP suggested ).

I second @ladybee28's book recommendation. I wish it was required reading before posting on a thread like this, to be honest.

Similarly understanding cultural appropriation is understanding the difference between an English person wearing a kilt (fine) and an English non Hindu woman wearing a bindi (not fine).

You know what, every single culture which now exists has nicked stuff from other cultures throughout history. Nothing in any of them is original, just an evolution.

Maybe just celebrate this continues evolution

My dog’s called Chico, which is a foreign name.

I’m wearing jeans, which I appropriated from American culture.

I’m watching television, which appears to be a Greek word.

Sorry everyone.

Maybe they are religous and you have no idea?

OP I went to the Vivahaa of my friend about four years ago and wore a very beautiful Sari. I was not the only white person there. I wore a Sari because it was beautiful and out of respect for their religion and culture and traditions (my friend's husband was born in Kerala). My friend has Indian heritage from her dad and her mum is French, but whole family are Hindu. She sometimes wears clothes that are traditionally Indian and sometimes western clothes, equally I have worn a sari four times. At the end of the day it is all clothes. Do you feel that I am culturally appropriating ( if that is a word) and is my friend also doing so?

Sorry also why does it bother you so much?