Am I right to be annoyed by this? (Cultural appropriation?)

[TheincredibleBookEatingManchot]

Or maybe I don't have the right to be annoyed?

A couple I know who are white British have named their dog a Sanskrit word, which is used in Hinduism and Buddhism. Also the woman wore a bindi at their wedding. Maybe it's just because I don't like this couple anyway so anything they do annoys me but I feel weirdly personally annoyed and kind of bitter about it.

I am ethnically half Indian but culturally completely white British and my Indian family were all Christians (and now atheists) so I have no claim on anything Indian/Hindu/Buddhist; it's not my culture they're appropriating.

But still I kind of feel like if I named my pet a word from an Indian language or started wearing bindis then my Britishness, my belonging in this country would be called into question, but this couple, with their pale skin and light hair are secure in their Britishness, no one's going to start questioning their identity or tell them to go "back" to India, so they get to use things from Indian culture to make themselves look interesting and exotic.

And I don't. But I don't want to. So am I unreasonable to be annoyed at them?

I don't think I've expressed myself very well but not really sure how to make myself clear.

Quite possibly I am unreasonable and this has nothing to do with me.

OP said she's half Indian but 'culturally white British'. I'm not even sure what that means

It’s previous obvious isn’t it? One of OP’s parents is Indian but she hasn’t been brought up within the Indian culture. It’s pretty common, in millennials especially.

@donquixotedelamancha ‘Do you laugh at non-white people wearing suits?’

Erm you do know that cultures from all over the world wear suits right? It’s not comparable to specific cultural wedding attire

You don't know her life. Thinking you do because of the colour of her skin would be prejudiced.

@Cantuccit thanks, I do know what 'half Indian' means...

What I don't understand is how you can generalise white British culture when it's so diverse.

Our welsh springer has a French name. I fucking knew there was a reason she hated me.

In fact, 'white British culture' isn't even a thing. It's a ridiculous statement.

Erm you do know that cultures from all over the world wear suits right?

Indeed. From which culture did they appropriate them?

If you feel that clothing should only be worn by the ethnicity within which it originates (so much that you laugh at those with the 'wrong' skin colour) then surely you would walk through the streets of London getting annoyed by (for example) black city traders in their saville row attire?

The dog name I wouldn't be fussed at; the bindi wearing would give me an itch between my shoulder blades the same way it did when every trendoid in the world was wearing them (Popularised by Gwen Stefani, if I remember correctly).

err...try getting a proper cup of tea anywhere outside the UK. Then you will know that white British culture exists.

@GiveHerHellFromUs which is why a few of us have specifically said we are Scottish

In fact, 'white British culture' isn't even a thing. It's a ridiculous statement.

It's fine. It's a concise way of saying 'I'm culturally British and also racist'. (N.B. in this context racist means someone who believes in race theory, I am not saying OP is a bad person).

You can be white British and practice Hinduism or Buddhism! Perhaps the couple do???

Isn’t it nice to admire other cultures, countries and religions rather than dislike them?

Apparently not. Apparently it’s more inclusive to highlight differences than it is to share cultures/hairstyles/food/names or whatever else.

It’s bloody ridiculous

If you feel that clothing should only be worn by the ethnicity within which it originates (so much that you laugh at those with the 'wrong' skin colour) then surely you would walk through the streets of London getting annoyed by (for example) black city traders in their saville row attire?

I feel like you’re being somewhat disingenuous here. I was talking about the false equivalency you made - there are some wedding outfits which only specific cultures generally wear right? Regardless of whoever should or shouldn’t wear them, there is very much an idea of traditional outfits which vary from culture to culture - but a suit is not specific to any culture - so it’s a false equivalency to include suits in that.

Do you laugh at non-white people wearing suits? There is only one word for someone who mocks people based on skin colour.

This comment truly is peak Mumsnet.

Please do tell us the cultural significance of suits to white people.

Of course YANBU OP. The only unreasonable part was expecting a better response here.

What about non Christians who participate in Christmas, having the turkey dinner, putting up a tree, exchanging presents? I have muslim colleagues who do this. They are religious in their own religion but like the season of goodwill. Are they to be called out?

Personally I think it is nice to wear clothes that may be cultural to others. I love a curry. It all adds to loving all the differences that make up the world's population. As long as it is done with no malice, what's the problem? Should we not attempt to speak another language in case we are seen as snatching somebody's culture?

People just like complaining.

Evening, everyone. Just popping by to clear our throats heavily in a 'please don't let this thread become a bin fire' manner.

Thanks.

@StrangeLookingParasite religion does not have a race, and there are many white Hindus and Buddhists.

As for Gwen Stefani, as a Roman Catholic, its not a huge leap to accuse her of cultural appropriation, however, its worth noting imo, that she was first given bindis to wear by her friends Indian mother...

OP, sometimes things like this are the straw that break the camel's back for me.

When I feel a buildup of micro-aggressions from men over a long period of time, for example, I often don't notice it until one incident, which wouldn't normally elicit much of a response from me, but tips me over the edge.

I wonder if this couple is a version of that for you?

Cultural appropriation is absolutely 'a thing', and it's not just 'admiring other cultures' - it's hypocrisy based on enormous racial privilege.

That doesn't mean it's done maliciously in individual cases, but it does require an extra level of thought that most people don't apply to their own lives on a day-to-day basis.

I can get why this irks you as part of a wider narrative that colours your life (no pun intended!) –and I have a hunch that they're a figurehead for a much deeper frustration that you're well within your rights to feel.

@giveherhellfromus In fact, 'white British culture' isn't even a thing. It's a ridiculous statement.

Your statement is ridiculous, of course there is a white British culture (along with many other British cultures)

I feel like you’re being somewhat disingenuous here.

Your views on ethnicity and attire are completely beyond my ken. Clearly you think there are some obvious rules but I don't see the distinction.

but a suit is not specific to any culture

You do understand I mean a formal suit in the British sense? It's descended directly from cavalry attire and specific to European culture. The fact that it has been appropriated by many other cultures doesn't bother me at all. If it doesn't bother you it would be helpful to delineate your rules about what skin colours can wear what clothes.

It's fine. It's a concise way of saying 'I'm culturally British and also racist'. (N.B. in this context racist means someone who believes in race theory, I am not saying OP is a bad person).

What does this mean? I don't understand it. Is there a definition of racist that isn't bad?

I'm confused by what counts as cultural appropriation. I have read about food being one thing, I cook food based on recipes from all different parts of the world. Stuff I learned about from school friends mostly. Would that be considered cultural appropriation? I get the feeling it is an overused term by some.

I am white British and was brought up in very religious family.

The religion was Buddhism, had no idea that was unusual until I was older.

My children have names that pertinent to my religion. I suppose you would make these assumptions about me too.

I don't think you are wrong, I can see where you are coming from with the idea you would be treated differently.

Just think that identity politics leads to everyone being assessed on sight and assigned a box. People are not always that simple.

Please do tell us the cultural significance of suits to white people.

I don't think any clothing has particular significance based on someone's skin colour.

What did they name the dog?