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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What's the etiquette when you take a ticket for an event from someone who's I'll?

89 replies

Diemme · 07/01/2020 22:24

Just before Christmas I had a ticket to go to a concert with 2 ex work colleagues. We were all really looking forward to it. The day before the concert I came down with a heavy cold and on the day I was really unwell with a high temperature. I messaged them both saying really sorry and gutted to miss it. I'd paid for my ticket but didn't have it as my friend had booked them and had held on to them. In the message I said 'if anyone wants the ticket then great. Obviously nothing I can do otherwise'. I thought it was obvious that I meant I ideally wanted to sell it but accepted I'd lost the money if no one wanted it. Anyway I found out today that they had given my ticket away. Just treated a friend to a free night without even mentioning that I might want the money. AIBU to feel seriously mugged off?

OP posts:

Letseatgrandma · 07/01/2020 22:26

If you wanted money, you should have been clear. Assumption is the mother of all cock ups.

I would just have been happy the ticket hadn’t gone to waste.

HotPenguin · 07/01/2020 22:27

I don't think your message was clear that you wanted money for it. If it was really expensive or for a really popular band then I think fine to ask them to sell it, but otherwise it's unlikely your friends would have found someone free and willing to pay for the ticket at short notice.

Timeandtune · 07/01/2020 22:27

If this happened to me I wouldn’t expect the money to be honest. Sometimes people offer to pay but I am generally just glad they are able to make use of the ticket. A thank you card / text would be nice however.

stargazer2030 · 07/01/2020 22:27

I wouldn’t have expected any money in that instance. If you knew in advance you didn’t want to go and asked if anyone wanted to buy it from you then fair enough but not on the day.

gobbynorthernbird · 07/01/2020 22:28

I think you should have clearly stated that you wanted to sell the ticket. I would give away a ticket if I'd have been in that situation, and would assume someone else would do the same.
Let's face it, the chances of your other friends finding someone who was free at that short notice, and had spare cash for a night out, just before Xmas were probably pretty slim. Even without the expense of paying you for the ticket.

saraclara · 07/01/2020 22:29

I wouldn't have got anything from your message implying you wanted it selling. It sounds as though you're telling them to give it to someone.

IHaveBrilloHair · 07/01/2020 22:29

The ticket would be wasted otherwise, you gave it away.
I've done this loads of times, I have a chronic illness, I don't expect or want money, I'm just happy that it's being used.

TokyoSushi · 07/01/2020 22:33

If your words literally were 'if anyone wants the ticket then great' - this does not specify at all that you're expecting payment.

If you'd have said 'if anyone wants to buy the ticket' then that's another story...

ILoveOlaf · 07/01/2020 22:34

If you couldn’t go, a token amount as a gesture of good will would have been nice from the person who got a freebie but, realistically, the chances of anyone willing to shell out a decent amount for a single ticket to anything on the day of an event - especially when you don’t even have the physical ticket to hand over if you did manage to sell it - are pretty slim.
In similar circumstances, friends have either asked for/offered half the ticket amount (when all involved are good friends) or said that anything they can get back for the ticket would be appreciated - often resulting in a tenner or so being given from the last minute stand in.

Elouera · 07/01/2020 22:35

Its awful that you were unwell, but you certainly didnt say 'sell' in regards to the ticket!!! The wording you stated did make it sound like you were giving it away with no money involved. You should have made it clear if you wanteded to sell it!

Prisonbreak · 07/01/2020 22:36

I was recently asked to take the place of a friends mum who could no longer attend a concert 3 hours before it started and my friend wouldn’t go alone. I was under the impression I was ‘rescuing the evening’ as neither ticket would have been used if I didn’t go. So I agreed to go even though it wasn’t anything I was interested in but didn’t want my friend to miss out. Within 30 mins of agreeing to go, I was asked to transfer her mum the cost of the ticket. At that point I politely declined the invite

Original poster

Diemme · 07/01/2020 22:37

Ok fair enough. I'd have offered money in that situation so just assumed it was the thing to do. If a friend called me and said I'm going to a concert with a and b but a's ill, do you want to come, my first question would be how much is it.

OP posts:

TriciaH87 · 07/01/2020 22:38

So had the ticket not been used you would of been OK with it being wasted money. In future be more clear. Maybe they offered the friend to buy it but they hadn't got the money so rather than waste it gave her it.

YorkshirePud1 · 07/01/2020 22:38

I wouldn't have expected money, I'd just have been glad it wasn't wasted. I think really if you wanted money for it you should have specified or tried to sell it.

Myneighboursnorlax · 07/01/2020 22:38

The thing is, they might have asked “how much is it?” and based on your text, your friends might have replied “oh she’s happy to give it away, she’ll just be glad it hasn’t gone to waste”

fedup21 · 07/01/2020 22:39

So you expected your friends to find someone who was free, wanted to come, was willing to pay-all at the last minute...without telling them that’s what you expected them to do?!

ILoveOlaf · 07/01/2020 22:40

I’d have offered too (I’m a people pleaser!) but I wouldn’t expect others to reimburse me if the shoe was on the other foot. Like PP, I’d just be glad my ticket wasn’t going to waste. It’s a social minefield!

Notcontent · 07/01/2020 22:44

Prisonbreak - you did the right thing. Many years ago, when I was very young and didn’t have much money, I was also offered at short notice some tickets by a friend as her mum was unwell and couldn’t go to the concert. It was only afterwards that I was told I had to pay - it was very upsetting!!!

chinateapot · 07/01/2020 22:44

I gave away quite a few tickets this summer due to DDs illness. Was just happy they could be used.

BackforGood · 07/01/2020 22:49

I wouldn’t have expected any money in that instance. If you knew in advance you didn’t want to go and asked if anyone wanted to buy it from you then fair enough but not on the day

This ^ and

This ^

At no notice, I'd just be glad it was used rather than an empty seat being there. It's just the way it is.

IHaveBrilloHair · 07/01/2020 22:49

If anyone offered me money I'd turn it down.
Im not out of pocket, I've paid anyway, technically it's cheaper if I don't go as no transport/drinks etc.

IHaveBrilloHair · 07/01/2020 22:51

The most I ask for if it's a friend is some photos, or a phonecall during my favourite song.

katy1213 · 07/01/2020 22:52

If you wanted to sell it, you should have sold it yourself, though it's most unlikely you would have found a taker when you didn't even have the ticket; the onus is not on your friends to sell it for you. Don't be a dog in the manger - and maybe on another occasion, you'll be the one to benefit. I've never know anyone to charge for a ticket in circumstances like this.

Dollymixture22 · 07/01/2020 22:54

I was on the receiving end of this many years ago. An event I had decided I didn’t really want to go to, not a favourite band. Then a few hours before the event a friend rang and said we one of her other friends had dropped out at the last minute and, while she knew I wasn’t really into the band, it seemed mad to waste the ticket.

So I went. Ticket was about £50 and she asked for the money when she handed it over. I was a bit taken aback, hid it and paid it. But lesson learned, I should have clarified😊.

ChaosisntapitChaosisaladder19 · 07/01/2020 22:54

You're being grabby it was going to go to waste.
.

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