Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

What's the etiquette when you take a ticket for an event from someone who's I'll?

89 replies

Diemme · 07/01/2020 22:24

Just before Christmas I had a ticket to go to a concert with 2 ex work colleagues. We were all really looking forward to it. The day before the concert I came down with a heavy cold and on the day I was really unwell with a high temperature. I messaged them both saying really sorry and gutted to miss it. I'd paid for my ticket but didn't have it as my friend had booked them and had held on to them. In the message I said 'if anyone wants the ticket then great. Obviously nothing I can do otherwise'. I thought it was obvious that I meant I ideally wanted to sell it but accepted I'd lost the money if no one wanted it. Anyway I found out today that they had given my ticket away. Just treated a friend to a free night without even mentioning that I might want the money. AIBU to feel seriously mugged off?

OP posts:

lottiegarbanzo · 08/01/2020 12:41

Of course the person who used the ticket should have thanked you, or your friends done so on their behalf but that's a totally different issue. that's manners, not money. The two do not mix well!

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 08/01/2020 12:47

@coconuttelegraph are you serious? You think it's a lot to ask to be texted a picture from a gig? Or even a phone call in a good song?! I've both called and been called from gigs, it's not difficult and it adds to the fun!

BlueChangeling · 08/01/2020 13:02

I was in a similar situation before, however I was the one who purchased the tickets. One friend dropped out and got a mutual friend to replace her. The one who dropped out refused to pay because someone went instead of her the one who went refused to pay because she thought it was a free night out.

I put it down to a learning experience but I've never booked tickets for either of them again and its meant they've missed out on a lot of concerts & plays ect, of course I was seen as the bad guy for chasing my money and they really took offence at me refusing to buy there tickets any more.

onlydigestivesinthetin · 08/01/2020 13:10

I think you're getting a hard time, OP. Whenever I'm offered a ticket in these circumstances I'd expect to pay something. I had something booked for the week before Christmas but went down with a fluey cold. I asked on FB if anyone was interested and the first person to respond offered half the price and the second person offered the full price – and I hadn't even asked for money!

There's an element of CFery about someone who takes a probably quite expensive freebie and doesn't even thank you for it. I'd be wondering quite how friendly those friends are, frankly.

ohprettybaby · 08/01/2020 13:20

I said 'if anyone wants the ticket then great. Obviously nothing I can do otherwise'.
I would not take this as meaning to sell the ticket. I would take it as best for someone to use it rather than waste it, so a freebie.

So, yes, YABU in thinking you've been mugged off. If it ever happens again, you need to be clearer about what you mean.

IHaveBrilloHair · 08/01/2020 13:37

coconuttelegraph
Yes, I'm being serious, a few photos and a quick call isn't much to ask for a free gig ticket.
I always call friends if they ask, or get a video of their favourite song.

RowenaMud · 08/01/2020 16:45

That's why I'm upset I suppose

They didn’t get your ticket because you graciously decided someone needed it more than you.

They got it because otherwise it would have gone into the bin.

If one of your group of eight used it, you surely have their contact details and could have written a quick messsge to them telling them it was available if they wanted to buy it. I think you know that you didn’t do that because selling a ticket you couldn’t use would have come across as really grabby. Yet you wanted one of them to pay you something for it. You are grabby. Very.

onlydigestivesinthetin · 08/01/2020 20:03

Why is it grabby to sell on a ticket but not grabby to sell an unwanted item of clothing on eBay or DePop or wherever? Surely it's just good financial sense?

The person who took the ticket and not only didn't offer something for it but also failed to thank OP for it is a freeloader.

lottiegarbanzo · 08/01/2020 20:57

Because chances of selling either within 24 hours, before the item becomes worthless, are low. That's not usually how it works with clothes.

onlydigestivesinthetin · 08/01/2020 23:15

I managed to sell a ticket for an event among my FB contacts within a couple of hours. As I said earlier, I offered it and the first person to approach me offered half the value and the second person offered the full value. I hadn't actually asked for any money, but clearly my FB contacts are the sort who are on the lookout for freebies

That was an expensive gift the OP's 'friend' walked away with and she didn't even say thanks. Shoddy.

IHaveBrilloHair · 08/01/2020 23:39

I sold a ticket outside an event for more than face value, and the ticket was given to me free.
That was an upfront sale though, clearly.
When I give tickets away I do that and don't want money.

Lockheart · 08/01/2020 23:47

To assume makes an ass out of you and me, as the saying goes.

You assumed they'd sell it, they assumed you didn't mind.

None of you are wrong, and nor is the person who used the ticket, but you just need to communicate more clearly in future.

Iamthewombat · 08/01/2020 23:59

So you expected your friends to find someone who was free, wanted to come, was willing to pay-all at the last minute...without telling them that’s what you expected them to do?!

This! I get that the OP feels that she should have been thanked by the person who took the free ticket, which isn’t entirely unreasonable, but she couldn’t expect her friends to go ticket touting on her behalf in order to recoup the cost for her. It’s not their problem.

It is hard enough to get someone to take a free ticket at short notice, because people have their own plans. It’s likely that the person who took the ticket wasn’t that bothered about the show and just went to spend time with her friends, who are also the OP’s friends.

I’m always direct about this sort of thing. Last summer a friend (A) dropped out of a gig that four of us were going to. She told us that her ticket was spare and asked us whether we knew anybody who wanted it: just like the OP. I asked a different friend (B) whether she’d be interested in taking the ticket; she’d declined the gig when we first booked because she didn’t want to pay £30 to see a band she didn’t care much about, but she took the spare for a night out. I told A that B would use the ticket to save wasting it, but not if she had to pay for it. Simple.

lottiegarbanzo · 09/01/2020 10:57

I managed to sell a ticket for an event among my FB contacts within a couple of hours.

Good for you. OP didn't attempt this. She passed her ticket to her friends and asked them to give it away.

Flip

1 2 3 4