To feel embarassed/ashamed of what I do for a living?

[Exvagabond]

I'm currently working as a cleaner at £10/hour with an agency in London. I've never cleaned professionally until a few months ago, but I was desperate to find work to support my family.

Whenever someone asks me what I'm doing, I tell them and you can just tell by the look on their face that they don't approve almost as if they feel sorry for me. Why does my job make people uncomfortable?

I dont have to work, my partner supports me but I see it like this;

-My DD (4) gets 30 hours at nursery, socialising with other children and learning what I don't have the time to teach her at home

• I'm bringing money in to the household so that we can put money away for emergencies, a holiday, days out etc.

• I'm putting money in to a private pension

• I'm paying tax

• On top of this I'm a part time student, so I won't do this forever

Why am I scum to some people?

When I was cleaning I was also studying but I didn't tell people that and it was interesting to see how they treated me. People can be dreadful snobs which says nothing about you and everything about them. Cleaning is good, honest work. Don't feel you have to justify yourself to anyone as anyone worth knowing will accept you for who you are and treat you with respect and kindness irrespective of your job.

£10 an hour ?
Far out .... they charge £20 up here and seem to get away with it

Plenty of us work in less 'desirable' areas of work (I myself am in retail at the minute). Honestly, right now, you couldn't pay me to go into a high flying and stressful career. Why?

• the hours are excellent for me as I have a baby (very early starts which mean I'm home before 3pm, so I still get to spend lots of time with her every day)
• I have 4 set days so myself and my partner can tag team childcare, which between us and one day my mum does, it means that we don't need to pay for nursery or childminding fees. This means all the money I earn goes into the pot.
• my manager is incredibly understanding and has been very flexible with my needs, which is rare to find.

Don't get me wrong. I don't want to do this forever. Getting up at 5am is exhausting. Shifts can be tedious and boring. But as DD1 is a baby and I'm pregnant with DD2, it suits me until they're in school. Once that happens, I'll definitely be prioritising myself and getting myself on the career ladder. But right now, for the next 5 or so years, I'm happy working the shifts that suit me, which will allow me to see my kids as much as possible.

If anyone judges you, I try to remind myself that they have different priorities in life. Personally, I'd rather be with my kids and earn an 'ok' amount of money, rather than having kids, paying for FT childcare and having a strenous, yet well paying, job. There's nothing wrong with either option, but everyone is allowed a preference.

If they want to judge you, let them. You aren't scum.

You're working, studying and being a great mum.

Own it and wear it with pride.

I used to clean as the hours suited me after previously doing other jobs. You're dead right, some people are very snobbish about this - as though you're less than human. Decent people are all right about it - we can't all be brain surgeons and even he/she can't do the job properly if the surgical theatre hasn't been cleaned.

I have a lovely young Polish woman who cleans my house, 3 hours every other week. I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which is why I'm not able to do it myself. It's the result of living with complex PTSD as a result of childhood abuse. And also having 2 adopted DDs (10 and 7), DD1 has SEN as well.

I'm so grateful to have my cleaner, she really is a godsend for me.

They exchanged a look and the guy took a deep breath and said “I’m afraid we are vivisectionists. We own a company that breeds animals for testing and we run those tests.”
I am pretty sure that was a fuck-off response. I also have a collection of fancy stories and careers that I love to tell people about if they become too nosey, especially if drunk.
OP - there's nothing to be ashamed of, my cleaner is my lifeline. £10ph is way too low, I am paying £15ph, and my cleaner is self employed.
I am also quite amused to see that PPs find it shameful to employ a cleaner. Live and let live, no?

I have a professional job, and once enquired with a friend about how much her cleaner was. Thinking it would make my life easier. £20/hour. It's more per hour than I earn! I didn't go ahead with cleaner. I did wonder whether I should quit my stressful job with long commute and work as a cleaner though.

I was in a professional occupation for 27 years, before taking a VR package. I only had O'levels and had no idea what to do next.

I actually started my own business (only me, no employees). It's a very basic service that I provide, anyone could do it, and I know people think that I do it for pocket money, and think that their jobs are "more important".

They have no idea how well I earn. I only work about 2 hours a day, and I can take whatever holidays I want (although I don't earn if I'm not working). I earn double what I used to earn in a professional role.

Someone cancelled a booking the other day, and actually said to me "It's a good job you don't do this for the money" Ha ha ha, okaaay.

"Professional" people often have NO idea what non professional people earn, which is quite funny really. My friend is a Beautician working for herself and makes £££££ and my other friend has a cleaning business and also makes a fortune, as she has built herself up and now has a team of ladies. Think about window cleaners...how many houses can they do in a day for £15-20? Loads!

Just smile and wave.....

I also know a mum with children in private schools, her husband is an architect. She works as a cleaner. The hours suit her, and she needs the extra cash. She worked in finance pre children, but had enough of the stress.

They exchanged a look and the guy took a deep breath and said “I’m afraid we are vivisectionists. We own a company that breeds animals for testing and we run those tests.” The woman started weeping silently and then we all went to bed.

I can see how you maybe thought they were serious when you were still drunk, but now? 🤣 (no-one in animal research would describe their job like that)

Remember, OP: No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

My DS cleaned/worked in maintenance at his secondary school during the holidays when he was in the 6th form. It was good money and I was very proud of him 💕

Professional" people often have NO idea what non professional people earn, which is quite funny really

Even funnier is when they find out and get all sniffy about how much do earn

Btw: @Longblondeandblueeyes what is your new business? I’m intrigued!

OP please don't feel ashamed. At least you are grafting and paying your way. Good luck to you and ignore the judgemental idiots x

When I was younger I held down three cleaning jobs and a part-time office administration job. I used to get up at 5am and clean in a factory 6am - 7.30am, then I would go to my office admin job 10am until 5pm, then onto my evening cleaning job 6pm - 7.30pm in a bank. I was also the cleaner/glass collector at weekend in a pub on Saturday and Sunday evenings.

The cleaning jobs helped me to save enough to clear some debts and pay for new cooker, fridge, washing machine (I had been given second hand appliances) and carpets for my entire flat.

Cleaning is not a subpar job and ignore anybody that says this to you or makes you feel like it is. I have the utmost respect for cleaners. I always call out people who talk shit about the cleaners and create unnecessary additional mess for the cleaners.

I work in a shop selling sports equipment. Most days people speak to me like I'm thick / lazy... I also have three degrees (BA, PGCE and MA), and I am studying for a fourth qualification whilst obtaining voluntary work experience in a very specific (and niche) field - I'm also expecting my first child in May.

I left teaching due to the hideous working conditions and the expectation to teach children specific works of literature when they needed functional (or any...) English first. I was a Head of Department at the time the curriculum changed, working in a shockingly deprived area with an above average number of new UK arrivals.

When I first left teaching, I found myself explaining why I left every time someone asked me what I did for a living. Now, I couldn't give to shits. It certainly sorts the wheat from the chaff in terms of who I associate myself with there are some total assholes out there...

I think soulasylum has summed it up well OP.
I am surrounded by people who have the opposite mentality about paying their way!

I'm really sorry some people see you as "scum", OP. I certainly don't & I'm a high-earning professional - as I hope you will be one day - if you want to be, that is.

I have employed professional cleaners when my working life gets out of control, and I must say in most instances, they are far far better at the job than I am. I think too any people assume anyone can clean - but I've seen the difference between an expert professional cleaner & my half-hearted attempts.

I know which I prefer and admire!

So good for you OP doing something which brings all those benefits to you & your family. You should be proud!

But you are student - presumably you'll be working in whatever area you are studying when you finish. Just say that and some vague plan of what you plan to do. And if anyone asks if you work while studying then yes - you are doing agency work. Sounds like you are doing great to me :)

I get worse looks for saying I’m a SAHM lol. A cleaner is fine !

You have NOTHING to feel ashamed about.
Believe me when I say cleaners are invaluable, a huge cog in the wheel.
Why? Because without you we would be wading knee deep in shite and detritus.
Out cleaners at work are fab. They turn our place from a skip into a new pin every day.
They're hard working, intelligent and deserve every penny of their wages.
I won't have a word said against them and the first person I hear at my place doing them a disservice will be feeling the sharp end of my tongue.
Please don't think you're any less than anyone else, because trust me, compared to some, you're worth a hell of a lot more.

Think about window cleaners you're not kidding! One wanted to charge me £55. He'd be done in half an hour. OK I'm not scared to pay, and I you couldn't pay me to go up a ladder (not sure they even use them now), but bloody hell he must be rolling in it

I have a friend who coordinates national road works. He says people give him that look too.

I’d use it to your advantage, as a pp said, arsehole detector.

You work
You have a means to support yourself & your family
The world cannot function without cleaners
Hold your head up high

I've been a cleaner & all sorts of other jobs over the years

Well i used to work as cleaner/housekeepind and occasionally babysitting before having my babies and at the beginning i was embarrassed exactly like you because of others reacting but after a while i realised i should be ashamed if i would steal not because the work i do and loved to look behind and see the perfect cleaned bathroom or so . As long as you work and do something to deserve the money you get it is not a shame. And more than money you get fit without gym :)