To feel embarassed/ashamed of what I do for a living?

[Exvagabond]

I'm currently working as a cleaner at £10/hour with an agency in London. I've never cleaned professionally until a few months ago, but I was desperate to find work to support my family.

Whenever someone asks me what I'm doing, I tell them and you can just tell by the look on their face that they don't approve almost as if they feel sorry for me. Why does my job make people uncomfortable?

I dont have to work, my partner supports me but I see it like this;

-My DD (4) gets 30 hours at nursery, socialising with other children and learning what I don't have the time to teach her at home

• I'm bringing money in to the household so that we can put money away for emergencies, a holiday, days out etc.

• I'm putting money in to a private pension

• I'm paying tax

• On top of this I'm a part time student, so I won't do this forever

Why am I scum to some people?

God, I thought you were going to say that you were a stripper or a proctologist or something!

I have lots of qualifications and had a 'professional career' prior to having kids. Once I had them priorities changed. I wanted to be there for them. I enjoy cleaning so considered cleaning locally instead of returning to my old job. Taking into account the commute/childcare etc, I wouldn't have been much financially better off. When I casually mentioned it to my mother, she was horrified! I would look back on my life and wonder what I had done with it, apparently. It was beneath me, she said! She was fine however with me being a sahm! She's recently moved to be closer to me. And she needs a cleaner. So who does she offer to pay to clean her house? Me, of course! People's attitudes are strange (esp the older generation). You do what suits you and what works. I still consider myself to be highly successful. Success to me is setting goals and setting out to reach them. My goal is to work locally, part time and flexibly and to be there for the school run and during school holidays and look after my own mental health by avoiding a stressful job (and also watch TV and eat cake). In this respect I consider myself to be highly successful. More so than my friends in high powered jobs working all hours and stressed to the hilt.

Being a cleaner is nothing to be ashamed of.

Thinking yourself too important to do your own hoovering, now that is shameful.

OP, I'm also working as a cleaner at the moment, as I need to support my children after divorcing their father (who abused them). I am not in the slightest bit ashamed of it. And being able to clean has been arguably more use to me than my PhD...

Has anybody said that you are 'scum'?

I can't work just now due to ill health. I admire and envy anyone doing a day's work.
My friend works as a cleaner through choice as she has anxiety and can't face an office environment. It works really well for her.
Anyone who judges is a massive dick.

I know how you feel; I'm a cleaner and I find it a bit embarrassing sometimes! Let's face it- it's not a high flying career.

One plus is that all the exercise from cleaning keeps me fit and thin as a pin and there's very little stress in the job. It fits around my children and means I can be there when they get home from school.

It might be worth considering going self employed? You could certainly be earning more than £10 ph, particularly in London.
Apologies if this has already been mentioned.

I'm physically disabled and have a cleaner who I value enormously. She has been cleaning my flat for about ten years and has become a friend. Anyone who looks down on cleaners is not worth knowing IMO.

The only thing I would say is that I pay £13 an hour in Buckinghamshire and think £10 is low in London. Would you be able to charge more if you found your own clients? I'm sure your agency's clients are paying a great deal more than £10.

I feel sorry for cleaners when I think of how disgusting our fellow humans are, and the things they must have to deal with each day.

I feel sorry for police officers when I think what it must be like to be first on the scene of some horrific bloodbath.

I feel sorry for the doctors who must explain to families that their loved one isn’t going to make it.

Do I look down on a cleaner for cleaning? No. Why would I? It’s a job that needs doing and pays the bills and there’s fuck all to look down on for that. I’d like to think the people you think are looking down on you are just thinking about the horrendous mess they know the canteen and the gents have been left in.

OP firstly, you are being underpaid, could you quit your agency and go self employed? My friend charges £15ph, in the North West, incidentally she does it to pay her daughters private school fees.
Secondly I'm a fairly senior HCP and when I was in hospital it was the cleaners who made my stay bearable. They had such kindness and empathy.

Finally, Re the vivisection thing, I dont think this even happened. I know people who have been involved with medical research (sadly using mice) and they would say they are a scientist. I dont think we can condemn even vivisectionists if we then go on to use the drugs/techniques they have developed.

I really like my cleaner. She is a lovely lady. Hardworking and great. I know about her and her family as we talk to each other (if I happen to still be at home when she comes, although I'm mainly at work).

I still remember the cleaners that used to come into my offices when I was at a large car company. They were great. I knew they cleaned so they could go on nice holidays and they were great friends. I always treated them like anyone else... that might be because my mum has cleaned in the past and so has one of my very good friends.

There is never any shame in working.

I was a cleaner for four years. Loved it.
If it wasn't for cleaners,businesses wouldn't be able to function.
Cleaners are an essential part of the workforce! Never be ashamed of being one!

Why be embarrassed because of other people's stupidity? You are providing for your family, you are earning, you have self respect - you are miles ahead of millions of other people.

You shouldn't feel an ounce of shame and when people ask what you do, remember, say it with confidence. If you say it looking embarrassed, you're likely instigate a "feeling sorry for you" look in the other person. That'll be more out of automatic empathy than anything nasty.

Good on you.

As some of the others said, I think 10 ph in London is too low. I have my own little cleaning business and charge 13ph - I'm in Suffolk.
I didn't think I'd end up cleaning either, but you know what? I love it! I was woring of someone else but that didn't work out so set up on my own. I do school hours and spread them equally through 4 days a week, not all crammed together like before. I love knowing I'm going into someones house and making it al nice for them to come home to, or if theyre elderly knowing I'm helping them because they can't do it on their own anymore.
Don't feel bad you should feel round - you're out there working.

Absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. You are working and contributing to society, paying to put a roof over your kids heads, food in their bellies. I don't think any job is to be looked down on. Well done for showing your kids that you have to work in life. You are providing them with a good work ethic and a good start in life.

Sorry for the typos in my post hope you get the gist of what I mean.

FastAway Why on earth should they feel embarrassed about what they do? Society benefits enormously from medical research. Although frankly I think they were lying to you as it's bloody rare for anyone in that profession to describe their work as vivisection or to feel ashamed of it (because why should they).

If it were me speaking to you, my thought process would go like this:

"OK, can't just say 'Oh wow' which is my standard answer when told someone's job, because then she'll think I'm being patronising. Can't think of any questions to ask about it - can't just say, 'Do you enjoy it' because I'll look like a tit. Balls, now there's an awkward silence and she obviously thinks I'm judging her."

I wouldn't actually be judging you, because I (like pretty much everyone) have worked in jobs where I've been viewed as 'scum' in the past. I'm just genuinely shot at talking to people, and am in a constant state of anxiety and second guessing everything I say.

Just say you run a cleaning business. Same thing but sounds better.

*Shit, not shot. Though I have had conversations where I wished someone would shoot me.

Cleaning is the best job I’ve ever had.

I’ve been a childminder, waitress, beauty therapist, bank cashier and shop assistant.

As a cleaner I am self employed. I pick my own clients, my own hours, my own holidays, my own equipment and products, my own clothes, my own pay. Of course there are downsides (every job has downsides) but out of all the jobs I’ve had this one has the “best” downsides. or the least bad downsides. I’m never going to be a doctor or a solicitor or accountant. Its just not going to happen. Cleaning is a lot better option for me than many of the Other jobs available to me.

I'm impressed by someone being a cleaner. It shows organisation, initiative and skill. Cleaners are paid a decent wage if they are self employed too (in my area it's equivalent to a joiner's hourly rate).

Good for you, you're doing an honest, decent job and you are making your children's lives better. I wonder if some people feel a bit guilty about having a cleaner, as if it's something they ought to be able to manage themselves? I'm terrible at cleaning and definitely feel awkward about that. So it might not be about you, more about how people feel about themselves. Otherwise, just see the positive and look at it as a useful arsehole indicator.

I’m so sorry some people are such dicks OP

Most people when they hear I’m a cleaner

“So do you clean people’s houses or shops and offices?”

“Houses”

“Are you in an agency or work for yourself”

“Just for myself. I’ve done agency work but it’s not as well paid”

“Yeah you’re better working for yourself, you’re in control then. My dad/brother/aunt is a self employed [whatever] blah blah blah”

And the conversation naturally shifts onto something else. I’ve never felt any judgement. Cleaning is a pretty common job.

In all honesty though, I'd maybe be wary of inviting you round for coffee as I'd be worried you might judge my standards of housekeeping.

On safari for our honeymoon we shared a truck with another couple for an entire week, I'm nosey and kept asking what they did for a living which they evaded. In the end, I demanded to know..

Sorry but that's so rude, you sound like a pain in the arse.. I bet the other couple couldn't wait to get off the truck