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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with daughters preschool?

128 replies

Pisces90 · 06/01/2020 18:57

First day back and my daughters new jacket has been stained with paint! She wears uniform and i have no issue with that clothes being stained or wrecked. It is preschool afterall. But i didn't think that included her jacket! I tried talking to one of the assistants about it and was fobbed off and asked if i wanted them to take a damp sponge to it. The paint had dried in and it's non washable paint so a damp sponge was pointless imo. I am so pissed off about this. Not sure if to go to the heads office tomorrow or no. Opinions?

OP posts:
Proseccopeach · 07/01/2020 12:20

We had a child who would stand and watch the children in the sand pit. He wasn't allowed to play in it as his mother complained that he had sand in his shoes. Poor boy.

Original poster
Pisces90 · 07/01/2020 12:22

I only started the 'uniform' for her second year in nursery. It's a lot more practical tbh. Cheap polos, leggings and cardis from asda does the job and i don't have to worry about clothes or shoes becoming ruined. Many other parents there do the same.
People say just put old clothes on them but at a stage where they grow so much she didn't really have old clothes as such. I found myself buying nice (not expensive) stuff to get ruined which seemed pointless so i opted for school clothes which have all lasted very well this past 6 months. Not a paint stain in sight! Grin

OP posts:
BoxedWine · 07/01/2020 12:23

If the thread has put you off saying anything, it's had a positive impact. Never send them in anything you care about.

Hp7425 · 07/01/2020 12:36

I'd be annoyed at them using non washable paint. Do they give you options to feedback on aspects of nursery? I would use something like this to voice my opinion on the paint issue, I wouldn't go in making a scene about the coat.

I do get why you're annoyed though, I find coats the hard part of nursery because I don't really want to buy two so I have a spare to send to nursery. Even a 'cheap' coat is money which puts an extra strain on my finances

Hp7425 · 07/01/2020 12:40

Oh and I was that child whose mum always made feel bad if I ever got my clothes dirty. I never dared join in messy activities properly for fear of being told off and it isolated me from other children. It makes me sad to read other parents doing the same

Original poster
Pisces90 · 07/01/2020 12:56

That's the thing with nursery they need 2 sets of clothes and shoes really which is why i opted for school clothes in her second year. It may just be an Asda coat to some but it still cost £20 and it's her only warm one she has. The zip is bust on her last one and her other coat is a rain jacket so not suitable until we are passed winter. So right now it's really her only coat which means i am now going to need to buy another one. Sad

OP posts:
MrsBricks · 07/01/2020 13:24

Kids get dirty but acrylic paint instead of poster paints and permanent markers instead of felt pens are totally unacceptable - I would have a word about the type of paint used.

2020BetterBeBetter · 07/01/2020 13:27

She doesn’t need a new one without paint on it. The paint on the outside won’t affect its warmth or waterproof in the slightest.

Unfortunately anything and everything taken to preschool or nursery is something you have to expect an element of damage to.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/01/2020 13:31

"...so i opted for school clothes which have all lasted very well this past 6 months. Not a paint stain in sight!"

That is Sod's Law in action, @Pisces90 - it's never the stuff you don't mind being wrecked that actually gets wrecked.

I do agree with @MrsBricks that having a quiet word with the nursery about their choice of paint might be productive - say that you know paint and toddlers equals mess, but it would be helpful if the paint was washable.

I also noticed that you said the paint was on the back of the coat and the hood - which made me wonder if another child had done it, and if so whether it happened while the coat was hanging up (in which case, why was a child wandering round the coats with a loaded paint brush) or it happened while your daughter was wearing the coat - and either way, I do wonder if the staff took their eyes off the ball for a moment - and I can understand you being peeved about that.

Ragwort · 07/01/2020 13:33

Just get a few cheap jackets/coats from a charity shop, then it doesn’t matter what happens to them. I don’t think I ever bought my DS a full price coat in his life Hmm.

Parents are so precious about children’s clothes, yet won’t use charity shops, I manage a charity shop, we have fabulous second hand items at £1 or £2 including brand new items from a high street retailer ... hardly anyone is interested.

Clymene · 07/01/2020 13:37

Why do you need to buy her a new coat? Confused

MrsBricks · 07/01/2020 13:38

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius "I do wonder if the staff took their eyes off the ball for a moment - and I can understand you being peeved about that."
Staff will have 8/10/12 or more 3 year olds per adult - I really don't think you can expect humans to watch that many children constantly with lots of activities going on. You're not going to get 1:1 supervision in a nursery so no point feeling "peeved" about it.

OP - if the only thing wrong with her coat is a paint stain on the back then no need to get rid of it! Small children don't need pristine clothes. If the coat keeps her warm and dry then it's fine.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/01/2020 13:45

I agree, @MrsBricks - I think that being peeved is not an unusual reaction to what has happened. Perhaps, though, what I should have said is that, whilst I understand her feeling peeved, I also think she's doing the right thing by not contacting the nursery to tell them she's peeved.

We all have a right to our feelings and reactions to things, but then we need to put the feelings aside, so we can decide how best to proceed, and in this case I think the OP's best option is a mild comment about the non-washable paint, and not dwelling on being cross about the stains.

MyKingdomForBrie · 07/01/2020 13:47

i'm now going to need to buy another one

Well no, you're not, you may choose to but you certainly don't need to, it's just a splash of coloured paint! If you really can't bear the mark then look in a charity shop or on FB marketplace. Loads of good as new second hand clothes around.

Pop2017 · 07/01/2020 13:53

I learnt a long time ago that you shouldn’t send them into pre school and nursery with anything too expensive. My children have always had an at home coat and a pre school now school coat. The school coat tends to be cheaper or it’ll be last years at home coat etc.

For future reference. I’ve had a lot of luck getting paint out by soaking in fairy liquid all night before washing. My partner send Dd to pre school in a brand new animal hoody. It came home absolutely covered in green paint. I soaked it in cold water and fairy overnight before machine washing and every last bit came out.

Pop2017 · 07/01/2020 13:53

Keep the painty coat just for pre school and buy a different one for home and weekends.

dottiedodah · 07/01/2020 13:56

I would have a cheap coat for Nursery really.As she hangs up her coat she could get paint off her hands on it .I used to be a Nursery Nurse ,and its difficult to see what they are all doing .Persil liquid has a cup with a ridged base ,and if you pour liquid on to stain then rub with ball and put in normal wash seems to get most stains out!

TheMouldNeverBotheredMeAnyway · 07/01/2020 14:08

I'm surprised they use non-washable paint, I wonder what the reason is.

It's frustrating, but the coat is still usable with a paint stain. I'd carry on using it.

TheMouldNeverBotheredMeAnyway · 07/01/2020 14:11

So right now it's really her only coat which means i am now going to need to buy another one

You really don't need to buy her a new coat. Paint stains on a child's coat are a sign of having had fun. I definitely wouldn't replace this, and we could easily afford it, it wouldn't occur to me that a paint stain was a problem worth replacing.

Ilovecat · 07/01/2020 14:23

This happened to my daughter’s jacket too. The only difference it was it actually happened on the open day we went to see the nursery for the first time.
They offered to take to play with other kids to see how she would get on while I was waiting in the hall. They returned her and her new beige quilted jacket was all covered from paint.
I was shocked.
First fully I did not know she would be doing any activity as this was not mentioned in the phone call before.
Also the nursery said nothing when I politely showed surprise like what happened to her jacket( they stayed inside- so not an outside play)
Any
Anyway the paints came off but I was right pissed off.

Greggers2017 · 07/01/2020 15:13

@EmmiJay are you actually being serious? And with the cost of shirts being next to nothing in supermarkets 🙄 people like you annoy me. You are the reason why children are doing less and less at school, complain about anything

DimplesMcGee · 07/01/2020 16:58

I really think there’s a difference between getting the hump because your child has got dirt on their clothes at nursery and being annoyed because a coat has been ruined by non-washable paint.

Rosebel · 07/01/2020 17:49

How is it ruined? A bit of paint doesn't make it less warm or less waterproof.
My girls coats would get covered in god knows what at nursery but they still kept them warm and dry

PumpkinPie2016 · 07/01/2020 18:20

Unfortunately, kids do get paint/mud etc. on them at nursery and school. However, I would expect a nursery to be using paint that washes out and not acrylic stuff that doesn't. Seems daft to give that to such young children. I would just keep the paint stained coat for nursery.

Only once did I ever complain to my son's nursery over ruined clothing. It was Autumn and I had bought a brand new winter coat from the outdoor shop. We live in a rural place which gets very cold so a good coat is essential. Anyhow, I took the labels off and sent him to nursery in it due to it being a cold day.

When I went to collect him it was covered in brown fence paint (he was 2.5 at the time) and when I questioned it with the staff, it turns out they had allowed the maintenance man to paint the fences which were right near the door and all around the playground and then let the children out to play Hmm As they were going out, my son got nudged and bumped into the wet paint. Tried washing it but it wouldn't budge. I have to say, I was furious - mainly at their stupidity! I complained to the manager and they replaced the coat.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 07/01/2020 18:24

Most paint should wipe off a waterproof coat, and if you sent a toddler to preschool in a non waterproof yabu.