To be annoyed with daughters preschool?

[Pisces90]

First day back and my daughters new jacket has been stained with paint! She wears uniform and i have no issue with that clothes being stained or wrecked. It is preschool afterall. But i didn't think that included her jacket! I tried talking to one of the assistants about it and was fobbed off and asked if i wanted them to take a damp sponge to it. The paint had dried in and it's non washable paint so a damp sponge was pointless imo. I am so pissed off about this. Not sure if to go to the heads office tomorrow or no. Opinions?

I’m surprised you’d be surprised by a coat getting messy to be honest. At mine, they do all sorts outside and in all weathers so the coat is part of the day to day clothing for activities. They are more careful about shoes though- I think they must get them into their wellies as I’ve had clothes caked in mud but never shoes.

But, I do think they should be doing washable paints and aprons though. I doubt an apron stems their creativity that much. The only time I’ve been annoyed by clothes being stained was when my 3 year old came back covered in black marker that another kid had drawn all over her. For me that represented a lack of supervision but also there wasn’t really a need to give free reign of permanent markers.

I worked at a preschool and one day one of the mums said to me “x is in her best dress - don’t let her near the paints”. Somehow I kept her away from the painting table but then another kid who had dipped her hands in paint, bumped into x on the way to the washroom. Paint all over the dress. Go easy on the staff, this stuff is so hard to prevent in a preschool environment.

About the only thing you could reasonably ask the pre-school is for details of the brand of paint, its ingredients and any information from the manufacturer on how to wash it out. Hers won't be the first coat that's been covered in paint.

YABU.

@EmmiJay Yes, I bet she hasn't because now your poor child is probably the one that the staff have to move away from the painting/water area because you're worried about a bit of paint on her sleeve. Get a grip, good lord.
Parents who make a fuss like you, don't realise that you are only actually disadvantaging your own child, and likely spoiling their fun, because the staff can't face listening to you complain every day when they have MUCH more important things to worry about.

Its pre school. Be concerned if they dont come home filthy.

This is what asda and charity shops are for.

Never send anything new you want to keep nice. Next time use a coat from a nearly new sale or scope or something.

I think you would be well out of order going to complain, they are pre schoolers, dont send them in a good coat, teachers cannot be responsible for everything, mess happens unfortunately

YABU. Of course stuff gets dirty at nursery.

Most children's paints will come out with Vanish, though you might need to wash them twice.

I only buy machine-washable coats for toddlers/young children.

I asked my sister what brand of clothes to buy for school. She advised get the cheapest possible because they get wrecked. She wasn’t wrong. They regularly paint outside. White polo shirts get ruined. And yes, her coat comes back covered most weeks.
YABU on 2 fronts. 1. To even consider wasting the headteacher’s time over this. 2. It’s from Asda.

YANBU.
A preschool with non washable paint is almost unbelievable.
At the very least a suggestion to the school that they start to use washable paints is in order.

Get used to it because reception is just like this. It's usually free flow(even in winter/ rain) so they can go outside whenever they like and use paint/sand/water/playdo etc etc. They need a coat that u don't mind getting dirty.

Are you sure it's not washable. Most preschools would onky use washable paint. They should have put an apron on her but maybe she started painting before they got the chance. Youbciuks ask them. To put an apron on her in future for messy activities.
Generally though I think perhaps you should just be pleased she is doing activities like painting and having fun.

It’s all very well saying “it’s only a coat” and “send in cheap stuff to preschool” but lots of people can only afford one or at best two coats for little ones who are growing fast. I used to send DS in scruffy stuff to nursery but I’d have been annoyed to have a coat ruined. YANBU, OP.

You need to speak to your child about why she has got her coat full of paint. Hold her responsible.

FFS, @walker1891 - a pre-school child? What if it happened because she was told to wear her coat when painting outside? Does OP have to hold her responsible for not disobeying the nursery leader?

cold water & washing up liquid it gets most stains off - seriously op 20 to 30 dc go to toilet fall over rush off past someone touch whatever is nearby which maybe dd coat - irritating but 2nd hand coat for school. I use to be able to tell what dc did at school & what they ate! As in: "did pe today(clothes back to front & inside out)? had spaghetti bolognaise (orange/red on front of white tshirt) ? did you play on the grass(grass stain) & did you do forest school (leaves & sticks in hair)? etc - look of astonishment to me & how did I know this. You could tell when it was a good day -op she might have done this herself on her way to wash hands - have you ever thought that?

Kids get dirty. It took my son untill at least year 4 before he didn't come home every day with either food/paint/ modeling clay /grass stains/mud etc etc on his uniform/coat etc. Even now on year 7 he occasionally comes home with something, the last one was melted wax from tech class which dripped down his trousers. It happens.

yes Kids do get dirty and they shouldn’t have to worry about their clothes getting dirty and neither should staff have to worry either, old clothes or clothes I didn’t mind being drawn or painted on were always worn for pre school.
What really angered me was when my son started school, we sort of got forced to purchase school jumpers and polos with the school logo which were not cheap at the open evening! The school let reception aged children have white boards with black marker pens when sitting on the carpet. My son came home covered in marker pen every single day!! Front and back it was every where as the kids sitting behind would catch him as well. It didn’t wash out!! When you have spent a fortune on uniform yes it did really anger me as literally every light coloured jumper and white polo was ruined. I did wash the polos and sent him back in them a couple of times but honestly it was so bad that it looked like he had dirty uniform from the day before when he was on the way to school!
The school suddenly started sending out emails saying they had noticed that some children were looking rather messy in their uniform (no shit Sherlock) and that the school prided themselves on their appearance emails soon stopped when after 6 months of ‘marker gate’ got too much for some parents and they had words with the head teacher!

Even some nursery washable paint stains. Tends to be red and black paint. I try to avoid the messier activities with those colours.

Watching her mum yell at teachers will have more of a negative impact than talking through what she can do better next time and helping to clean up the mess this time. The next time she might then wear an apron or wipe her coat down on her own to clear up her mess.

I’m sure OP isn’t yelling at staff in front of her.

She’s a pre-schooler. I’m all for responsibility, but this kind of shit is not healthy for kids of that age. It’s very likely it wasn’t even her who got the paint on the coat. It’s likely the staff chose what they wore, it’s not like she chose not to put on an apron.

I don’t think the staff have done anything wrong, these things happen, but calling a pre-schooler out on it an lecturing them is just as ridiculous.

I am taken aback with some of the replies to be totally honest.

I know nursery clothes will get wrecked. That's not the issue here. The paint is over the back of her jacket which implies it was not done by her. The type of paint they use is a joke and i have held my tounge about it since she started at the school. I will ask tomorrow exactly what kind of paint is it.

When they do outdoor stuff they always wear protective suits. Which is why i have never had to worry about her jacket getting ruined before.

To the comment pretty much saying the jackets 'only from asda.' Think it's quite nasty and snobby tbh.

I’m sure OP isn’t yelling at staff in front of her.

I've seen this too many times to know that many parents do this. I have seen parents threaten staff, swear at them and hit them.

Where did I say lecture the child? Try a few more dramatic words to exaggerate my comment. It is really effective in showing your lack of understanding of my comment! Talking to a child about what has happened and how to put it right isn't lecturing.

You'd talk to the child if they knocked something on the floor and ask them to pick it up right? How is this any different? The child is held responsible for knocking over Lego and puts it right. It is about learning the impact of your actions. It is part of the curriculum at this age.

YANBU but only because what pre-school uses non washable paint? And paints outside in winter?

I get it OP. I used to get annoyed at primary school when they allowed the kids to draw with marker pens, I did ask them why they allowed this, as obviously all their stuff ended up covered in pen - which didn’t wash out. So I’d recommend speaking to them about it.
For nursery my kids only ever wore stuff from eBay, even coats, then I wasn’t as annoyed about it getting trashed. I understand why you’re cross about a new coat being ruined.

You say you have been dealing with the stains for a year and a half. Why haven’t you raised this sooner?
To suddenly raise it with the headteacher because of a bit of paint on a coat is OTT imo. My DD’s coat is from Asda £4 in the sale. I’ll chuck it in the wash, if the stains don’t come out she still goes in with it on. It’s one of those things.

I didn't raise it sooner for a few reasons, one was it was only ever her clothes not her jacket that would become stained which i had accepted was normal as part of a nursery. Another was because this is my first child so i just assumed this type of paint they use in the nursery was normal.

I don't think i will bother saying anything to the school now. This thread has put me off.

I'm confused that you send her in a uniform to a nursery that doesn't have a uniform? Or did I misread that?

I've never understood uniforms for preschool/nursery as it is, but sending them in one when it's not necessary baffles me.