Do men really still fancy us if we get fatter and older?

[User9876789]

I’m asking because I once read some statistics that said men fancy their wives for much longer than we fancy our husbands. I’m not physically attracted to my husband any more but he still seems very keen on older, fatter, saggier me. Do you think men really maintain that desire or are they just not very fussy and are grateful for the sex??

In my case, no.

I can’t imagine you can generalise here. Some men probably do, some don’t-the same as women.

No not in my case either

At 34 and a size 18/20, and a relatively happy smiley outlook and appearance, I have never in my life been more popular, and with some of the most attractive men I have ever met in my entire life.

When you stop worrying what other people think, you develop a whole new layer of attractiveness and depth of person. Apparently.

I fancy the arse off my (soon to probably be ex) DH. But he doesn't seem to fancy me and I'm not sure he ever really has.

However, the queue of jaw droppingly handsome, fit, athletic, toned, rugby player type men waiting to date me as soon as he is out the door tells me that is his issue, and fuck all to do with me or my body ☺️

Men are not a homogeneous group, despite the impression you might get from reading MN. Nor are women. Sexual attraction is an odd thing, just look around you at who’s with who!

@cryingoverspilttea, Wow, that’s lovely to hear. What amazing confidence. You go girl! Enjoy all those fit guys. Have fun! 😁

No. There isn’t a single person in my life who is daft enough to think I’m attractive in any way, shape or form. Least of all dh.

I'd say no, not me personally. I look better thinner. My face (badly) carries all my weight.

Enjoy all those fit men, cryinggover!

I hope so, or I'm doomed this pregnancy

My df is still mad for my dm, both 77. She is still as slim and lovely as the day they met, albeit older. He looks similar to her, allegedly! Seems love is blind. I think when you really love someone, their essence is not their weight.

OP if you are not attracted to your dh any more, why stay? It sounds like he wants to maintain the sex life and you don't? You don't have to stay if you are unhappy. Life is too short. x

No. I've been single for the last 15 years and nobody has shown any interest in me whatsoever. I'll always be single now.

I think men may care less than we think they do especially once you are in a relationship. It works both ways, we can all let ourselves go sometimes. I think what men find more attractive is (works both ways) is someone taking care of themselves. Do they exercise, take care in dressing, grooming, try to eat well, take an active interest in things, have confidence?

I think men tend to let themselves go more than women, just what I have heard.

Are you not physically attracted to him because of how he looks, or has your physical desire reduced generally?

Not ime. Now I’m a size 20 I’m pretty much invisible to men

itwaseverthus
My df is still mad for my dm, both 77. She is still as slim and lovely as the day they met, albeit older. He looks similar to her, allegedly! Seems love is blind. I think when you really love someone, their essence is not their weight.

How does this make sense? Your DM and your DF are the same weigh t as the day they met, you conclude weight doesn't matter?

Some men do. Some men don't.
I still fancy the hell out of my wife (now pushing 50) even though she has made it plain our sex life is more theoretical than real as far as she's concerned.

I hope so, or I'm doomed this pregnancy

and I never fancied her more than when she was pregnant.

True story. I'm fat and old, invisible to men etc. Went to a new hairdresser and accidentally got a new, slutty hairdo. Men all over are eyeing me and flirting with me, DH getting antsy. Just the hair.

Not me - I'm mid fifties, 5'7 and 12-14. I've always been invisible to men.
I put it down to my resting bitch face.
I must just give off bad vibes.

I'm 50, overweight (not obese any more, and quite active) and was never a beauty - at uni there was a nice bunch I heard saying (nice legs shame about the face). I'm very interested and enthusiastic about casual sex though, and I could have as much sex as I like as often as I like with men from 21 to 70. I'm not saying most of those would necessarily want it more than once (though a lot do). Work out what you want and unless it's marriage to a billionaire it is unlikely your body will be a barrier.

I think so yes, because if nothing else, you have grown as they have! Unless you are married to Mo Farah, chances are he has spread at the same rate so you fit together as you always did.

My ex still fancied the arse off me as a size 20, just as he did as a size 10. My current shag has said he first noticed me when I was with ex, at a 20. Still fancies me now as a 12 but it bears out the research.

I’ve seen it purported that our attraction template grows as we age, but never shrinks. It feel accurate to me.

Elindabwhat is a slutty hairstyle?? I want one :)

While I've not aged too much (I'm 27 but have been with DH for 10 years), I have put on 9 stone in 10 years.
I am do not have a good body. I have gone from a curvy size 12 to a size 22 to 24. I absolutely hate how I look. But DH is attracted to me as much as he's ever been, maybe more.
We've both grown in our own way, changing hairstyles, clothing styles, weight, and we're just as much in love and fancy each other as much as before. The sex and attraction hasn't slowed down, even with a toddler and baby, 2 c sections and plenty of sleepless night (clearly, because I'm posting this at 3am, sleepless nights are very real).

@Elindab what is a ‘slutty hairstyle’? (asking for a friend )