To think 'you're welcome anytime' isn't an actual invite

[StrawberryDreamX]

If someone said to you 'you're welcome to visit anytime' would you take this as an open invitation to visit whenever you're free? In my experience this sort of invite comes from people I don't know too well or haven't spent a lot of time with. I prefer to make actual plans of doing something on a set date at a specific time. As a result I rarely actually visit anyone who says this. I would never turn up at someone's door without calling before hand or essentially phoning and asking to go to someone's house, unless they were a close friend. How do you respond to you're welcome any time from people you don't know too well/haven't spent a lot of time with?
Aibu in thinking 'you're welcome anytime' isn't an actual invite?

I would always confirm in advance if I was visiting someone. I don't think "you're welcome any time" literally means you can turn up as and when you please without informing them.

I would agree with you on this but I think there’s a group of people who wouldn’t.

I think I offended one of DP’s friends girlfriends like this. She made noises about meeting for coffee whilst I was on maternity leave but nothing concrete so I made all the proper polite noises myself and left it. My logic was she was working and had two children in school so I wasn’t going to go round (and wrangle myself and a >6 month old out the house) on the off chance she wasn’t there/busy with something else.

I’ve had a few barbed comments over the years since then but I genuinely would never have thought it polite to elbow my way into her schedule like that - I’d hate it if someone did that to me!

I think it means "you can propose visiting me at a time that works for you, you don't have to wait for an invite". And then world expect them to text in advance to see if I was free. Unless they literally live round the corner, in which case it means "you can knock on my door to see if I'm free any (reasonable) time"

My neighbour always tells me to pop in any time. I don’t. Imo it would be weird to just turn up and say can I come in!

It means you are welcome to visit again in future, but with plans being made - not a literal turn up on the doorstep whenever you like!

We dog walk on a path behind a friends house. They always say drop in but there's no way I would just turn up with our dog as they don't have pets. Sometimes if they're in the garden I wave but they've never beckoned us in.
I don't think people mean it.

@Cornettoninja a similar thing has been happening to me.

Said person, on the rare occasion we do see each other, always says you're welcome anytime, pop in when you're free etc. though they rarely extend an actual invite. They are leaving it to me to make the majority of the plans, which in turn doesn't feel too welcoming.

YANBU. It's just one of those ridiculous things people say in the name of politeness. I often wish that this entire culture of 'empty words' for the sake of it would die down but alas.

I only say this to close friends who I genuinely wouldn’t mind dropping in at ANY time; either because they’ve seen me at my worst and won’t judge the mess or mind if I’m still in PJs or have no food in to offer them. Equally they are the closest friends who won’t mind if I turn them away because it’s not convenient for whatever reason.

If someone I weren’t overly close to told me to call in ‘anytime’ I’d always text in advance something like “I’m over your way this afternoon/tomorrow are you around?”

I avoid people who say pop. I have an irrational hatred of the word. No idea why.

I think its a saying that means 'please arrange something with me and id be happy to meet up with you'. I defo dont think it means 'just come over whenever you fancy it', because in reality this just isn't convenient for most people

If I genuinely want to see someone then I tell then they're welcome anytime with a heads up/ little notice to check nothing's on etc.

So I kind of mean it. And there's people I tell literally anytime, who I know might need to take me up on it.

I think if they are staying overnight or staying for dinner then of course they should call and arrange a time. I don’t think it’s a big deal to just drop in for a coffee but it depends on the person. Not someone with young kids.

When I say this I mean

“if you push it I probably won’t barricade the door on your arrival but i’d actually rather plier my own teeth out than make you a cup of tea”

It's just a social formula

I've only taken it at face value once when I was suffering from bad PND, I would not have done it but I was desparate to escape the house and see somebody

I'd actually put this in the same category as 'how are you' — more often than not, the person asking isn't actually looking for any answer aside from 'I'm good thanks. You?"

I often wish that this entire culture of 'empty words' for the sake of it would die down but alas. Yes indeed. Phrases like this are really difficult for someone like me who has difficulty understanding nuances and takes everything literally. Just like the answer to "I mustn't keep you, you must be busy" isn't "no, no, I've nothing on, I can stay another half hour".

I mean it the same way as @HolyMilkBoobiesBatman - to close friends and family it literally means you can turn up and if we're in and not heading out, we'll welcome you in. My local friends turn up all the time, most call to say they're 10 mins away...one just turns up. But I'm not offended as I've said you're welcome anytime and mean it.

I've probably said it occasionally to acquaintances and then I would expect a text or call in advance of dropping by.

I live in London. No one I know here here says this 😂

In the south of England I think 'You're welcome anytime' means 'We've enjoyed seeing you and would be happy to see you again.' But it doesn't mean you can can just drop round whenever it suits you. It means you are welcome to text/ phone and make an arrangement to call round.

In the north of England and other areas like parts of Wales many people are far more sociable and so different rules apply, but I still wouldn't turn up without prior warning.

When I say it I mean it.

it is me saying I enjoy your company and if you feel the same then there is no need to stand on ceremony.

Where I use to live my friends knew my door was always open, so would drop by for a cuppa all the time, my kitchen table at times would be crowded with friends dropping by on the way back from work/ picking DC up.

If someone says it to me, I'll send a quick text first asking if they are about and fancy a chat.

I avoid people who say pop I should start doing this!

I would never say it to anyone, if I wanted to see someone I'd text and say are you free at X time for a catch up or actually invite them to visit. My friends do the same.

@coldbrewaddict I completely agree.

Well it’s both. Next time you are free and fancy setting them , text save see if it works for them.

To me it’s an open invite.

I would just text in advance: "Hey, are you around if I come for a cuppa about 4?" or something.