To let my 7 and 10 year old watch Billy Elliot?

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For context - both have had 'issues' in school with doing non-gender conforming things such as my daughter plays football and wearing trousers, likes batman etc. Son is a bit effeminate, very sensitive, ND, has his own difficulties.

Both have been briefed on several occasions in the past about hearing bad language but not repeating it i.e. Adults showing off, a meal in the pub with inconsiderate people nearby, family parties with exuberant family members, etc. I genuinely believe they understand this.

Have the film on record after it being on the TV over Christmas. AIBU? Is the language used too offensive, therefore overriding the greater message of the film? I think they both might appreciate the sentiment of the film but willing to accept it might not be appropriate?

My 8 year old son watched it over Xmas (I’d never seen it so had no idea of the language in it!)

He did ask why they were swearing so much but he’s not repeated any of it. He thoroughly enjoyed it though.

I know children in his class who’ve watched IT and Deadpool and play GTA so a bit of sweaty ballet doesn’t worry me so much

Can't remember the film that well but can't see it wouldn't be suitable apart from maybe supporting ideas that being GNC is a struggle which may give the opposite message to what you want.

Also when mine were 7 a whole film esp quite a grown up one, they wouldn't have lasted.

Do they want to watch it? If so yes, if not, prob not tbh. I think it's quite a grown up film, taking about a different time.

I think 7 is too young. 10 I would be ok with.

Are we talking about the film with the northern working class lad who likes ballet dancing?

7 is too young I'd say. I put it on for mine having forgotten how raw it is and I turned it off really quickly. Am not particularly sensitive about bad language generally - was okay with Ghostbusters and Goonies which are a bit sweary, but it didn't feel appropriate for that age. Wait a while.

My 12 and 10 year old DSs watched it with me the other day. My older one enjoyed it but they were both shocked at the language. My 10 year old struggled to get to grips with the wider story/context with regards to the strikes and the violence. I’d say 7 is too young personally.

Yes, the film.

They have seen Sister Act and In Pursuit of Happiness, amongst others, and have understood the 'context'. Also watched some Ace Ventura films which I didn't remember being so risqué, but seemingly went right over their heads! We do love a film!

The language is quite strong, and I seem to remember there is some violence too, related to the miners’ strikes. I would watch it first to see what you think your DC would cope with.

We went to see a performance of the musical live screened in the cinema and took DS who was probably 10 at the time. The first word was fuck and it seemed that nearly every other word was a swear word. It made for slightly uncomfortable watching especially as we had GPs with us too.

I love the film but the themes are not appropriate for an 8 year old. Even at 12 I remember not understanding the background to it so I'd save it until they're a bit older

It is the language that's the problem isn't it. Such a shame but I understand it fits in the context. Such a good film though.

A lovely film, I've seen it at least twice and honestly can't remember the swearing though, knowing the setting (miners strike etc), it doesn't surprise me. There's so much more to it than that though, your children will love it. I always cry at the end.

I remember watching it about 8 or 9 and being shocked at the language 😂 loved the film then and now though! It’s really thoughtful or you to record it thinking of them, maybe give it a go it didn’t damage me at all!

Un/fortunately they have been exposed to inappropriate language from family events, which have led to lengthy conversations about unacceptable adult words etc etc. Lots of 'learning opportunities' and up to now they both seem to fully understand the message. I also work in a school so under no illusion that they will hear this language at some point so rather they understood context. But there is quite a lot of it in the film. Tough decision.

Thank you @fairynick that's a nice thing to say

I think there’s a dvd version of the musical which might be more suitable..? I can’t remember if that was sweary as I watched it a long time ago.

I think the violence to do with the miners’ strikes would be quite frightening for your children to watch. Could you show them extracts?

I can confirm that the musical is sweary.

You think that wearing trousers and playing football are 'gender non-conforming'?!

I watched it with my seven year old — we talked through Billy’s father and brother’s response to his dancing, and Michael’s cross-dressing, but the only thing he found hard to get his head around was why the police were ‘bad’ in the miners’ strike scenes.

@Palavah we staunchly don't, but sadly DD has had quite a bit of questioning from peers as to why she wears trousers/ likes football/ likes batman, superheroes etc. I very much support her to just like whatever she wants to and she is quite comfortable with that. Trust me, as a trouser wearing, football playing, pint drinking woman, these aren't my ideals!

Words are just words though.

I would be more concerned about introducing the idea that things are a struggle when maybe they aren't so much, now.

It's set at a different time in a different place and I think it's a film more for grown ups tbh who maybe remember those times. Introducing them to problems they may not have thought of iyswim.

I wouldn't watch it with the kids not because of language but because it's a film they might not enjoy, because it's too grown up tbh.

If you want films with GNC characters then lots of 80s films will do as it was all a bit more flexible then. Although not without issues either!

I find this website helpful when deciding about which films my children can watch or not www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/billy-elliot

Have you seen captain marvel?

That is age appropriate, and imo pretty good from a female role model pov, if you're looking for that sort of thing. She wears a skin tight outfit obv but still. Better than a lot of stuff that gets churned out.

Failing that, just watch a load of old Bowie / Prince/ Annie Lennox etc, that seems to work for my GNC daughter

Also you can look up on bbfc for ratings etc

I second the common sense media site recommendation - really good for deciding whether film content is acceptable for my specific rules.

What sort of school do your kids attend? Football and trousers on girls are completely normal here. Not universal, but football (and Gaelic football at that, which is tougher than soccer) is a hobby that attracts similar number of girls as dance, gymnastics, swimming, drama etc.