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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To let my 7 and 10 year old watch Billy Elliot?

46 replies

whenskiesaregrey · 05/01/2020 00:31

For context - both have had 'issues' in school with doing non-gender conforming things such as my daughter plays football and wearing trousers, likes batman etc. Son is a bit effeminate, very sensitive, ND, has his own difficulties.

Both have been briefed on several occasions in the past about hearing bad language but not repeating it i.e. Adults showing off, a meal in the pub with inconsiderate people nearby, family parties with exuberant family members, etc. I genuinely believe they understand this.

Have the film on record after it being on the TV over Christmas. AIBU? Is the language used too offensive, therefore overriding the greater message of the film? I think they both might appreciate the sentiment of the film but willing to accept it might not be appropriate?

OP posts:
Idontkowmyname · 05/01/2020 02:24

Although common sense provides some good info, I feel that the age recommendation’s are somewhat cautious.

FrogsFrogs · 05/01/2020 02:27

Is the dance and gymnastics as well attended by the boys?

Round here trousers on girls is fine etc but they still had to start a separate girls football team at school because the girls didn't feel, welcome I suppose is the term.

And while girls make inroads into 'boys' stuff, I imagine it's still hard to go against stereotype if you're male.

aibutohavethisusername · 05/01/2020 02:36

How about Bend it Like Beckham too?

Rhubarbcrumblerules · 05/01/2020 03:10

www.imdb.com/title/tt0249462/parentalguide?ref_=tt_stry_pg

Good website, lists all the profanities and violence etc

Popfan · 05/01/2020 03:22

Language far too strong for children of that age. It's a grown up film - brilliant but one for when they are older.

crustycrab · 05/01/2020 03:51

A sensitive 7 year old watching pursuit of happiness, ace Ventura and billy Elliott? Why??

ElluesPichulobu · 05/01/2020 03:54

I showed edited highlights to my 5yo who was into ballet but there were some scenes of violence and sexual interaction which were unsuitable for that age. a 7yo might be ok but i would be watching with them with my finger hovering over the fast forward button and make no apology for skipping forward 5 minutes if the story needed to have a scene cut for age suitability reasons.

NearlyGranny · 05/01/2020 04:17

What is "gender-conforming" behaviour anyway?! Who has the issues and why aren't children just allowed to be children and get on with doing/wearing/playing what they like any more?

Nobody (except perhaps Disney) sends the memo to kids about how they're supposed to be, so parents need to protect their DC from rigid stereotypes and talk of 'conforming"

EsmeSwan · 05/01/2020 04:38

They will see and hear much worse in the school playground.

crustycrab · 05/01/2020 04:46

"They will see and hear much worse in the school playground" Confused

Oh well that's ok then. Stick pulp fiction on.

Cremebrule · 05/01/2020 08:15

EsmeSwan Really? I remember the language being very raw in billy Elliott. I’d be surprised if 7 year olds were exposed to worse than that in the playground and if they were, I’d be moving them immediately.

whenskiesaregrey · 05/01/2020 09:35

@EsmeSwan I'd probably disagree but I understand the sentiment that children will hear language in other situations.

@crustycrab it is my older child who is the more sensitive one.

To those wondering about the gender confirming comment I made - I understand what people are saying about how wearing trousers for school, playing football etc aren't particularly radical things. I totally agree. But sadly my daughter has had comments from her peers asking her if she's a boy, telling her that her clothes are boy clothes etc. The conversations I have with her at home are very much along the lines of she can wear/play with/ be interested in whatever she wants and that there are no such things as boys/girls things. But sadly I can't prevent what other say to her outside of the home. It's not a huge issue anyway, but just thought the film might be a nice one, despite the language used!

OP posts:
Catapillarsruletheworld · 05/01/2020 09:41

I took my two dds to watch it in the west end when they were 10 and 7. It did them no harm and they didn’t come out swearing like sailors.

I’d let them watch it.

StrawberryShortbread2001 · 05/01/2020 09:43

My 7 year old watched it and enjoyed it at New Year.

Isadora2007 · 05/01/2020 09:48

I’d watch it with them. Don’t make a big deal about the language as it’s only swearing. If they mention it then they mention it. Helps them understand issues that were of their time like the strikes and maybe the fear of gay people or the ignorance of that then? But help instil a lack of caring what other people think as well- and that we can’t change what people think but we can change what we do and say about it. Call people out for gender bollocks- ask how wearing trousers can make you a girl or a boy? Ask why you’d need a penis in order to wear trousers or if doing ballet or gymnastics might make your penis fall off? Encourage bravery and pride in your kids- they sound fab!

Crystal87 · 05/01/2020 10:08

10 is fine, I don't think a 7 year old would understand it or really be interested in it. My 11 year old watched it recently and liked it.

UndertheCedartree · 05/01/2020 10:32

I took my DS to see the show when he was 8 and my DD (7) saw the film - both enjoyed it.

I'm very relaxed about swearing, though. They hear me swear and my 12 year old swears occasionally but they have never said swear words just because they think it's 'naughty' (which I've seen lots of children do) because they know I don't care.

recklessruby · 05/01/2020 11:09

If i remember correctly it has a bit of a slow build up while they set the scene of the times so 7 year old might be bored tbh.
My dd and I watched it when she was 10/11 so obviously had heard bad language etc.
She loved it and we were both rooting for Billy and cried a bit.
As a teenager of the 80s I remember the miner s strike and living in the Thatcher era so explained that to her and we discussed the violence and Billy s dad s predicament.
I dont think she would have been interested at 7 though. She was all about Pokemon and Harry Potter then

LeNil · 05/01/2020 11:19

My ds’s watched it at a similar age. We live abroad and I wanted them to see the north east. I did tell them to ignore the bad language and there was a few times when I thought it was maybe a bad idea but they loved the film. Their main impressions were of a boy who loved dancing. It didn’t change their language.

I chatted to mum about it later (we lived through the miners strike but were relatively unaffected, we lived next to ex mining villages) and she said the swearing was ott. People just didn’t swear that much at that time.

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 05/01/2020 11:21

I can't remember anything in that film which is remotely controversial or inappropriate (perhaps bad language I really can't remember). Isn't it mainly about ballet and as I remember he has a friend who is gay. No idea why they shouldn't see it.

Focalpoint · 05/01/2020 11:28

My 8 year old watched it with us over Christmas. Language, angry father and police brutality very shocking for her and didn't bat an eyelid about the boy doing ballet!!!!

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