Who is BU?

[Duchessgummybuns]

Child needs glasses for everyday wear, however they haven’t had any since August as they either broke or lost them (story keeps changing)

Resident Parent and NRP do not get on. RP sends message for child to relay saying if NRP wants child to have glasses NRP will have to collect them from opticians as they are working on the day they will be in.

NRP works long full time hours in a town 45 minutes away on a good day, and only has child EOW, so if the optician needs to fit them it will be another two weeks before child can wear the glasses (if they post them to the opticians in their town). NRP is inclined to tell RP this is their responsibility as RP, however if RP insists they will sort it out if necessary even though it will take longer so child can have glasses.

Who is being Unreasonable?

If I knew these parents I would report this to social services. The child has been without glasses since August ! It will be affecting the child’s life and learning. Both parents are a bloody disgrace - get the glasses sorted out as a priority, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

That't appalling behaviour, the poor kid.

Both parents are utterly unreasonable.

First time child turned up without glasses nrp should have spoken to child and when he realised there was a problem taken child to opticians that same weekend and sorted it! Child ends up with 2 pairs of glasses, great, they have a spare.

Obviously talking to rp would normally be the way to go but it's clear that's not going to achieve anything in this set up.

All adults in child's life should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves that child has been without glasses for FOUR MONTHS when all could have taken the initiative and sorted it within a couple of weeks.

Both parents are shit and need to step up.

Doesn't matter who gets the bloody glasses, just do the right thing for your poor child who hasn't been able to see properly for four months. In my school this would have been taken further by now, surprised this hasn't been picked up.

And yes as pp has said nrp should take time off work collect glasses and take to school so child has them ASAP. Or take child out of school to collect if they need fitting.

If they feel rp is behaving badly argue it out in court STOP letting the child suffer for all adults disgusting lack of parenting

Both parents, they or at least one of them, should stop their petty fighting and put their child first. The child is suffering because of their behaviour. One of them needs to be the bigger person, put the kid first and go get the glasses.

FFS go and get the child's glasses. Who gives a shit about all this nonsense so long as the child doesn't go another day without them. It's been 4 months !!!!!

New Glass have to be fitted on the child, you can not just collect the glasses from the shop without the child.

Both parents are neglectful and I would want to know why none of the other adults in this child's life have bothered to step up either.

If you've been standing by watching them neglect their child you're just as bad, op.

I think they should stop fucking arguing over the N and the NR and remember the word parent.

I'm surprised the school hasn't raised this as an issue. I think it's actually neglectful.

This has gone on so long the poor child’s prescription has probably changed! I would make an appointment at Specsavers for the next contact day.

Pathetic behaviour directly impacting on a child's health and wellbeing. The parents are making the child a pawn in their petty squabbles. They need to grow up and consider their child's welfare first.

What horrible parents, neither prepared to put the child first. They are both at fault

I don't understand? You said the nrp had the child on the day the glasses come in? Can they not go and get them straight away?

agree, just start again

and be an actual Parent

this whole story is very upsetting

Just realised child isn't with NRP they are just available that day. If nrp is available can they not travel to get the glasses anyway? Or if not the rp can surely just pick them up the next day they can. Personally my children come first full stop so I'd be taking an hour off work or going as soon as I can do these two need to work it out as soon as they can for their child's sake rather than point scoring

Poor child! Both parents are neglectful.

If you are either parent then you should be totally ashamed of yourself. If you are in a relationship with either of them then ffs don’t have kids with them now they’ve shown how badly they care for the child they already have. And honestly I couldn’t be with someone who neglects such a basic thing as their child’s eyesight.

Poor child, I would go NC with anyone doing this to a child.

Both are BVU and I hope the school or health professionals pick up on it and report for the child’s sake.

I don't get why the glasses would need to be posted to NRP's town.

Either parent should obviously take time off work to get glasses for their child. Glasses can be dropped off at school or posted (by the optician as soon as they're ready, try asking!) and a spare pair is essential. As someone who needed glasses as a child I find this incredibly upsetting, that poor child is wandering around in a literal fog because the parents are neglectful. If I was a family member then I would take the time off work myself and organise this for the child, while seriously considering repotting it to child services. Anyone else and I'd just report it. Surely school have already informed social services anyway?

How old is this child?

Even if they are still young and won't remember this event, if it continues like this it will affect both parents' relationship with their child. The child will remember who was there for them and who let them down.
This is not a tug of war between parents. This is not who can get away with the least. This is about their responsibility towards the child.

Why does the RP not think the child needs glasses

Children's glasses have to be fitted once the prescription has been done, normally one week later. So you go in, pick frame and a week later go back and get them fitted.

All the NRP needs to do is take their DC to choose some frames (although I agree with a PP that their prescription will likely have changed - especially after 5 months of not having any glasses!) and then go back, two weeks later, to get them fitted. Or the RP could do this..

But FFS, that poor child. Bet neither parent would deprive themselves of the ability to see clearly but, you know, let's use a child's condition to point score.

This would be an absolute deal breaker for me - this isn't just being a bit shit, this could impact that child's sight for a lot longer. Utterly utterly shit!

God, this has made me