To be a bit peeved that my date tonight hasn't planned anything in his town?

[Proudownerofplants]

Prepared to be told I am a diva!

I am going on a first OLD tonight with a chap. I am travelling to his town, about 1h 30 away from me.

I've offered to meet him at the place he had in mind to tactfully decline him picking me up by car.

He has instead offered to meet me outside the station cafe as there are 'loads of bars and restaurants we can choose from when I get there'.

AIBU to be a bit annoyed that I am doing the travelling of a fair (not a huge) distance for the first date and he hasn't even got an idea of where he plans to take me? Seems a bit low effort and vague.
Pqq
I'll see how it goes but

Oops! Pressed 'post'. I will see how it goes, not writing him off or anything!

You are totally unreasonable to travel a bloody hour and a half to meet some online guy.

Feels a bit rubbish but maybe he’s thinking he doesn’t want to get it wrong and take you somewhere you don’t like hence leaving it open so you can have a choice. Maybe he’s a bit nervous.

Good luck and I hope it goes well.

My thought would have been he doesn’t want to pick somewhere alone when he doesn’t know you. Doing it this way you can see how you both feel and what you fancy

Yes you are being a diva. If he had made arrangements to take you to his local working men's club or a snooker hall would that be better?

The problem with OLD is that early F2F meetings take on too much significance. Dating is an organic process.

Haha Yarboo as long as there was a decent turn playing that would be quite fun!!

Sirzy and DI good point, I will assume it's that and not lack of effort to give the poor bloke a chance!

Why are you travelling for 1.5 hours to meet an OLD 😨??? I met my DH through OLD but I would never have made that much effort for somebody I might not even like!

But YABU about him not choosing somewhere. You can then have a say in where you eat/drink.

He's aware that you're doing the travelling so he's trying to give you the option of where you'd like to go. Had he made plans to go to a certain bar, no doubt you would have been on here complaining that you didn't like that one and that you'd have preferred the one next door.

Either stop being precious or do the guy a favour and cancel to save him the hassle. You sound high maintenance.

Why are you travelling an hour and a half?

Do you have a friend calling to check all is well? Have you planned how you’ll leave if he is weird/pushy or just boring?

Do you know how you’re getting home?

Be grateful! I tried to date a guy who wouldn’t even go in a taxi the equivalent of a 10 min walk from his house, ever! Couldn’t really see that going anywhere...

Fruitcake I wouldn't normally look so far afield but he is working there for a couple of months and air bnb'ing his flat so it was one of us travel or drag out the text chat for ages and it would be likely to fizzle

You are totally unreasonable to travel a bloody hour and a half to meet some online guy.

DH and I met on a dating site, we did about an hour and a half door to door for a year until I moved in with him. We have been together for 8 years now 🤷🏻‍♀️

He's probably just wanting to make sure that you go to a place which you like as well.

Don't see the problem with it myself.

So why did you agree? (I did 5 years of Online Dating, and will never go there again)

Should clarify, he knows tonight's town really well so it's not new to him too.

Thanks smile luckily regular train services run late into the night and if not, there are coaches so it won't be a problem getting back. Friend is aware I am here.

Haha yes, I accept I was being grumpy! Duly told

Hope it goes well

DH flew 400 miles for our first date Been together seven years now!

Thanks runbikeswim

I traveled around 1.5hr to meet my now-DH for our first date. Dunno why people are getting their knickers in a knot about the distance. A lot of men in my area are preening wankers so it was great to meet someone from out of town!

Good luck on the date OP, it’s hard picking somewhere that is casual yet impressive enough for a date, so he’s probably nervous about fucking up. Give him a chance.

Wow Dipsy!! That is truly impressive!

Not a chance I’d be travelling 1.5 hours! Why can’t he come to you or at the very least meet halfway?!

BooFuckingHoo it's the fannying about getting to the mainline station at my end that makes it quite long, not much of a midway point tbh once you're on the train. Plus at least one of us knows this town.

He’s damned if he does. And damned if he doesn’t.

Men should just know instinctively what women want. And predict the whole thing start to finish without a word being uttered.

If he gets creative and comes up with an inventive date , the date will just want a quiet bar and a meal. And vice Versa... it’s a lose lose