To be a bit peeved that my date tonight hasn't planned anything in his town?

[Proudownerofplants]

Prepared to be told I am a diva!

I am going on a first OLD tonight with a chap. I am travelling to his town, about 1h 30 away from me.

I've offered to meet him at the place he had in mind to tactfully decline him picking me up by car.

He has instead offered to meet me outside the station cafe as there are 'loads of bars and restaurants we can choose from when I get there'.

AIBU to be a bit annoyed that I am doing the travelling of a fair (not a huge) distance for the first date and he hasn't even got an idea of where he plans to take me? Seems a bit low effort and vague.
Pqq
I'll see how it goes but

What if he'd booked an Indian and you didn't like spicy food? What if he'd decided on a loud bar and you wanted a quiet drink? What if he's decided on a quiet bar and you wanted something a bit more lively?

I don't think OP's being U. I think OLD guy could have explained in advance a couple of places that he knows and likes near the station and asked OP if she was OK with that, e.g. I thought we'll go to this bar for a drink, then for dinner - maybe offer 2 options and see if OP wants to choose. As in say that to her in advance when the date was fixed between them.

And also have in mind somewhere to go on afterwards, if they both want to, e.g. bar / pub.

YABU

He did initially have somewhere in mind:

I've offered to meet him at the place he had in mind to tactfully decline him picking me up by car.

I understand your reasoning for declining his lift, but the change of plans are his attempts to accommodate your mode of transport.

He has instead offered to meet me outside the station cafe as there are 'loads of bars and restaurants we can choose from when I get there'.

I hope you have a nice first date

What??? You are travelling 1.5 hours to see him? At his patch? Honestly, forget about doing too much too soon for him, how on Earth is a relationship going to develop when he is so far away and he has not even offered to meet you half way?

I would cancel, what’s the point?

Why are you expecting him to make the decision about where you go. Why can’t you decide between you.

See how it goes - you might have a great night! I'd much prefer to play it by ear - once you arrive you can both pick somewhere to go together rather than the pressure being on one person and the other not liking the choice. It's only a small thing, the main thing is you see how you feel face to face.

For the record, I tried online dating once, got talking to a guy I thought seemed nice but slightly dull. Went on a date with him anyway, he's now my husband
(Also not dull at all, by far the funniest person I've ever met, I'd never have predicted that from his emails!)

DH flew 400 miles for our first date

Mine travelled 650 miles by train and it took ten hours! That was 15 years ago nearly. So sometimes it’s worth the gamble. I think it’s fine to be a bit spontaneous as long as you know you aren’t going to end up in the situation where everywhere is booked up and you’ve got nothing to eat.

@Excited101 was he the fella from Undateables?

1.5 hours is a fair old trek though. Hope it goes well.

Let us know how it goes! (I’m a nosey Parker and love to hear about first dates)

I really CBA going on a date with someone who was incapable of making a decision where to go (or at least start) in his own town.

Hope you are having a good night op.

Hope you have a lovely time.

Are you on the date now? What does he think you are doing posting all these messages ha ha

YANBU to be disappointed he hasn’t got any interesting ideas. YABU to travel an hour and a half to meet him on the first date. He should come to you if he’s bothered.

No update from OP; hope it's gone well. :)

One fella I dated once travelled from the moon... on a skateboard (238,900 miles.) First date too.

I wouldn't have travelled 25 feet for him though. Couldn't have been arsed. He was boring anyway, so I left him in the pub and sneaked out of the back door.

Let the men do the travelling, AND buy all the drinks. If they don't - kick 'em to the kerb.

Bin him @Proudownerofplants Not worth the effort, not making any effort. Get a cat.

Hey all! Went ok thanks! Just on my way home now. He was smart and interesting. I enjoyed his company. I'm not sure I will take it further, he has a son he didn't mention and made rather a lot of 'crazy ex' comments but was otherwise a good evening.

As it goes, most here were right, he had thought of a couple of restaurants and we picked one together. I suppose I've had enough dates where the man goes 'so what do you want to do?' when it's been on his turf and we have ended up wandering as I have not known the area. Sometimes a bit of gumption is needed and tbf this guy did have that, he just hadn't made a final decision.

I'm glad it went well and you enjoyed it. Not mentioning a kid is naughty though and crazy ex is a bit of a worry, to be fair there's plenty of crazy ex's of both sex's but it's an odd thing to talk about on a date.

Yeah that's what I thought... it was a bit oops! Didn't mention the lad but it's all her fault somehow. I will keep looking but was fun anyway!

Let them come to you for a change next time OP. Trust your instincts on this one!