Most annoying Facebook posts to me are:-

[glitterytrainers]

So blessed, date night, Love my man so much (no one belongs to anyone else unless you gave birth to them and even then they could fuck off and ditch you), feeling joyful, feeling thankful - the list goes on - what are yours?

Oh and the ones where a couple are definitely in the same room but instead of talking to each other in real life, they carry out their conversation on Facebook.

checks in at hospital

Stuck in A&E, in for a long night

*someone replies

What's wrong

*op

My little flower has a papercut and just wouldn't stop crying.

No idea why people check in at a hospital. It's the crowning glory of attention seeking.

‘Happy birthday to my hubby. He’s my whole world, my rock, my everything. I don’t know what I’d do without him!’

You were just telling me the other day what an absolute dick he is.

‘Your birthday tells you what you’re getting for Christmas this year!’

The Christmas pics of piles and piles of presents 'all ready for my Prince/princess when he/she wakes up' from seemingly normal not usually boastful people too - god knows what happens to them at Christmas ? I find it really weird (and I'm honestly not one of those people who think kids should only get a lump of coal and an orange for Christmas )

I have a friend who always shares those posts that say, "We've had a cancellation on an all-inclusive holiday to Florida for 4 so we have to give it away! Share and like this post to win!" from a page pretending to be Thomas Cook only created two days before. How can she not spot they're so fake? She shares the fake Center Parcs competitions and the pages that say, "We have to give away all these iPhones because the boxes have been opened."

"...with this one!" Or "the boy done good" etc

‘Let’s keep this hug going to show people we care!’

Please know, oh weird uncle, that hug will die with me.

Duckface.
Dog ears on adults.
Scans of unborn babies which look like a tub of jelly exploded.
I m all alone on NYE coz so many people dont care....cue the you ok hun? Aw bless at least you ve got the dog/cat/gerbil

Referring to their family as "my team" or "team"

I know a woman who refers to her family as Team X (a nickname that's to do with her maiden name but I'm not going to say it here) which includes herself, parents & siblings, her husband and siblings partners. She'll post an anniversary message to her brother's girlfriend and say how happy she is that brother's girlfriend joined "Team X" like they're some sort of mafia family or superhero group. Group photos captioned "Team X stronger than ever" and they all seem to call themselves by this group. Maybe it's actually a cult

A family of four couldn't go on holiday, like and share to win!
We have 10 TVs we can't sell, like and share to win!
We have 5 supermarket vouchers worth £50 each, like and share to win!

Always by pages created the day before or who have name changed.

Also, people sharing a lost dog from the other end of the country.

Someone I know (vaguely) got married recently. I know because of the 90000000000000000 posts about it.

We had all of the wedding prep, the hen dos (multiple!) and then the wedding. We’re now onto ‘throwback to the best day of my life!’ We don’t need a throwback! It was last week!

My absolute favourite was the post of her cuddling a pet. Love this pet with everything I’ve got. #noringbecauseitsbeingcleaned

#noonegivesashit

The New Year ones. 'It's been a decade of challenges. Got my medical degree. Did this, did that.' Perfect picture of family together. Just made me wanna puke.

Happy birthday/anniversary to my darling boyfriend/partner in crime/hubby/whatever. We have our ups and downs but I know you’ll always be there for me.

Ups and downs usually mean they’re constantly at each other’s throats and have an on again/off again relationship.

Those terrible person sayings like "If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" and other such twattage, usually next to some kind of disney character/Betty Boop/minion for absolutely no fucking reason.

These are really funny!! Luckily my FB friends are generally a nice bunch. I do like calling out my racist auntie though.
I do invoke the snooze function regularly, usually on my born again US rellies. Don’t need a daily bible quote thanks.

Literally the best weekend ever.

So blessed with my family/friends/any other relative or random person.

Men posting how lucky they are to have been with their partner for x amount of years, when the post has clearly been dictated by said partner.

Living my best life.

People on diets posting every pics of every single outfit they can now squeeze into.

Cats and tinsel pics.

I shut my FB on election results day when all the Tories on my friends list were calling anyone who didn't vote them brainless. I haven't missed a second of it.

Any sort of stream of consciousness, eg; off to the shops, just about to have tea etc etc.

The pointed “cryptic” comments clearly aimed at someone they’ve just fallen out with.

Any that use lol as some sort of punctuation.

MLM posts

Racism veiled as patriotism (I’m looking at you dad)

Inspirational life updates from so called momtrepreneurs and bossbabes.

Aka Juice Plus / Younique and other MLM crap about living life to the max, getting people to join their teamies. Their posts are normally commented on by other MLM Bots congratulating them for smashing their targets, being promoted and gaining 'super glitter shiny lotus flower emerald unicorn status' and being one step closer to the free cruise.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY POSTS TO DEAD RELATIVES!

“I know only 1% of my friends will share this”
“Copy and paste this onto your wall, don’t share”
“Share/copy and paste this if you hate cancer”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY POSTS TO DEAD RELATIVES!

This! Or happy birthday to people who aren’t on Facebook/babies/pets

The couple selfies where she is filtered to such a degree she's barely recognisable and he looks like he hasn't slept for a week
Making memories, obviously. The passive aggressive digs at people too.

Quotes with a picture of some famous person who obviously never said any such thing, e.g. "I don't give a shiny shit" alongside a pic of Abraham Lincoln.

Oh yes the grief thief.
The post marriage breakdown fall out and passive aggressive look what he is missing posts.
The “look at me the perfect parent” one.
The plate of food ones.
And the most annoying ones are the couples who carry out conversations on FB when you know they are sat in the same room, usually predates the post marriage break up posts mentioned above!