Most annoying Facebook posts to me are:-

[glitterytrainers]

So blessed, date night, Love my man so much (no one belongs to anyone else unless you gave birth to them and even then they could fuck off and ditch you), feeling joyful, feeling thankful - the list goes on - what are yours?

Perfect lovey couple pics- Well they aren’t that perfect. 6 months ago the women is this particular relationship was shagging someone else...

Birthday messages to Timmy- his 1 he isn’t on Facebook

Women that post a of them all made up, tits out, clearly filtered with oh I’m going out but hate how I look. They you get people saying oh no babe you look great.... (she doesn’t look great she’s filtered so much she looks like an alien, the tits have obviously been pushed up for effect to attract comments from men I imagine)

People that have to check in everywhere they go even if it’s just the Costa. I could understand checking in to a 5* hotel or swanky restaurant but costa really?

I’ve got a box of old tat, I mean a box of my child’s old toys and want them to go to someone needy or homeless.

I hate the ones with lists of random names and a title like "Girls who will get pregnant in 2020." Lots of comments by twits tagging each other if they happen to have one of the names.

'Quality time spent with those who matter most just so you're aware if you aren't tagged in this you are insignificant to the world in general and me in particular '

DuesToTheDirt
Youve reminded me of the identity fraud buffet ones.

"What's your porn star name? Select the adjective from the day if your birthday list + name of your first pet"

What could go wrong?

I've just tweaked my FB so I see fewer posts from people who do all this stuff.
It's lovely to avoid all the #makingmemories #soblessed, cryptic attention-seeking garbage and guilting people into sharing garbage.

I can't stand 'well said...'

Tell us your pasta preferences and we will guess your age /say what Disney Princess you are / how many kids you will have.....

Anyone who checks into a hospital with no explanation!

Or those ones that are really long and tart off with something like, "Wow its been a tough year, I know cancer touches most families at some point but..." blah blah and you atrta reading it as you're nosey and want to know what they're on about and after 5 mins of reading you get to. "so please copy and paste this to your status for one hour....blah blah". And it was never about them in the first place and you fell for it and now at and hate them unrelentingly.

Multiple photos of almost exactly the same thing, all out of focus or wonky. Just choose a good one and post it for goodness sake!

More or less everything. Wtf am I on Facebook?

"I'm having a Facebook cull. Tell me why I should keep you on my friend list".

Someone I know did this and said that anyone who didn't comment would be unfriended. NOBODY commented, not one person! Afaik no-one was deleted

All of the above and in particular an ex-colleague who:

• Vague books all the time

• Posts at least weekly photos in a skimpy outfit (why?)

• Posted a photo of herself in a sexy Santa outfit with a red stocking top showing on purpose which she will have made her DD (14 or so) take of her

• Posts about her daughter (swinging from her being a princess and amazing to being an ungrateful spoilt brat, etc) when her DD is on FB herself. Of course all mothers have these feelings but not exactly healthy for your DD to see them shared with the world

She's in her 50's so really should know better.

Yes all these. In fact all FB statuses make me eye roll 🙄

Can anyone tell me if I can delete my FB account without losing my FB business page? Ots linked to my fb personal page. Other than that I'll just have to dump everyone on my friends list and keep a few family members and close friends who don't post shitty statuses. Ideally, I'd like to dump my account forever!

I use Facebook and I rarely see any posts like these. I must have the wrong facebook friends. I only have about 20 though.

Duck face! Filters as well, making you not recognise people you've known for years

Easily googlable stuff like

What time is Tesco open til?

Anyone know of any jobs going?

"Need recommendations for a good but cheap decorator!

👇🏻GO!"

Parents on parent pages trying to shift filthy tat. Bleh! Some of the shit I've seen on there makes me want to vomit.

As I've said before, people who filter themselves so much they're unrecognisable in the flesh. If they ever go missing nobody will know what they really look like.

I hate " on date night" with pics of everything and then proceeding to post throughout the date. Just talk to your fuckin partner !

Bunny ears added to grown ass women's heads !

Pouting like a toilet plunger over the age of 20 !

Posting lovey duvey pics when you know they are killing each other in rl.

Posting life is shit and saying to their bf that they'll PM them.

Saying they've done nothing recently and haven't been out when they've posted a million pics saying otherwise.

The ones along the lines of the humble boast where they've seen a homeless person or similar in the street/outside mcdonalds and have bought/ given them something then just have to go on fb to tell us all about it. I'm all for charity/ helping those less fortunate but why do you feel the need to post? Then cue all the "well done hun", "that's so lovely" blah blah blah posts. Give me strength.

Referring to their family as "my team" or "team (surname)"

Kevin Bridges did a good sketch about Facebook, likening it to a pub. There's a girl you knew from school sitting in the corner saying stuff like "well I just think that yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery" and some guy going on about how much he misses his dead gran, and if it was a real pub, you'd never want to spend any time there, and in fact you'd probably want to firebomb it.

Oh god, Florean , the "Go" thing....

"Ok hive mind, need recommendations for great vegan coffee shops in Ulan Bator. Go!"