to think rising levels of neuro diverse children in society is partly due to rising ages of pregnant mothers?

[staydazzling]

im not condeming anything here btw, i would like to make that clear. and i know this may not go down well on here, donning hard hat but whenever theres discussions about how neurological diversity in children has risen ASD, ADHD etc in society, the conversion is often about MMR Ipads or diet, discipline etc which of course all important variables but i feel its unhelpful that a lot of would be mothers are not informed of the risk past 35, of downs syndrome, autism etc, its obviously much better financially to be older and have a family. aibu to feel its the elephant inthe room regarding rising levels of children with ASD, ADHD, Etc??

Do you know what I hate? The idea that having a child with ASD is something undesirable to 'avoid'. Even the japes about breeding with younger men upthread come from a perspective of trying to avoid the outcome of a child with ASD.

I find it really offensive.

This is probably going to sound trite but it is true.

I wouldn't change anything about my child for the world. He is fab.

Does the world need to change for him ? Yes it f**k1ng well does.

I don’t think that’s helpful missfliss.

I have a child with a learning difficulty and I have no problem with discussion/research on the potential causes, if any.

She is utterly wonderful but I wouldn’t have chosen for her to have this particular issue and it would be good to know so others have a choice in terms of risk/behaviour, if that is even relevant

missfliss
Whilst many people with autism are perfectly able to enjoy life and be enjoyed, for some people autism is trully debilitating and causes physical as well as mental pain.

Theres a notion I've come across that all ASD children can be desensitised and basically reprogrammed to not be triggered into a meltdown (or shutdown) and if that doesn't happen then it's behavioural problem/choice being made. Unfortunately for us it's the LA Ed Psych with this opinion so now school are hanging off his every word

missfliss what would you like to change?

There is nothing about my child that I would change - I of course accept that others might change things for their kids, and yes I also totally understand that for many people their experience will be much more problematic than for us and our family . However I really don't really see why my point should be "unhelpful"

My point is that this kind of post and some of the responses come from an assumption that ASD must be undesirable as a characteristic.

It has been part of humanity for all time and has contributed so much to science and the arts. The human race simply would have not progressed to the extent it has without autistic people in my society.

So do I find it offensive that people like my son are to be considered as objects of curiousity with a characteristic to be avoided? Yes I bloody well do.

Theres a notion I've come across that all ASD children can be desensitised and basically reprogrammed to not be triggered into a meltdown (or shutdown) and if that doesn't happen then it's behavioural problem/choice being made

WTF??

Challenge that notion robustly - ask the EP to provide empirical evidence .

I meant what you would like to change in the world, missfliss?

@ineedaholidaynow

There are many things I would like to change.

I would like support for early years families.

I would like the education system to be set up to reward and encourage neurodiverse traits rather than "one size fits all"

I would like employers to be compelled to make adjustments to working conditions for people with autism ( who can by the way be astonishing contributors in the workplace).

I would like better education for all public facing bodies and educators about what autism means in practice.

I would like public spaces to be designed to be accommodating and adaptable for hidden disabilities as well as physical ones

I think we just label everything differently, years ago it was naughty kids, now it's given a different label, depending on the severity of the problem.
at 9 my ds was naughty, sent out of the classroom, missed education as always in the corridor. At 17 he was diagnosed with Aspergers and ADHD, he still disrupted the class, whatever title they gave it.

@calledyoulastnightfromglasgow

Autism is not a learning difficulty.

It is a neurodevelopmental condition.

Learning difficulties may or may not be comprbid alongside autism.

For example my son has dyslexia alongside his autism. This is a learning difficulty his autism is not.

I expect that the increase in average maternal age is solely due to a decrease in younger women having babies rather than any increase in the rate of older women having babies, so the logic is immediately faulty. I can't see that the rate of women in their 30s and 40s giving birth would have changed at all over time, it is just that before contraception, many women would have started having babies in their late teens and carried on having them into their 40s?

@Drabarni

Your poor boy going that long without a diagnosis. It sounds like he perhaps needed a different sort of setting to better meet his needs

www.marketwatch.com/story/the-bigger-the-age-gap-the-shorter-the-marriage-2014-11-11

Sorry wrong link

It's complex

ConwyGhost it won't be a different type of autism but the right environment and very high levels of support.
A family can't and shouldn't be expected to provide all that but external support for families of adults with severe disabilities is generally woefully inadequate.

Exactly @Tfoot75

It's only the average age for first pregnancies that has increased. My grandmother had her last child in her early forties, I had my last child in my early 30s.

@RunningAwaywiththeCircus yes I am totally with you there.

My son is now in a special school and doing so well. The beat single thing has been a massive decrease in his anxiety from trying to constantly mask and fit in.

I absolutely couldn't agree more about the people who have a much much harder time. I know too that we aren't supposed to use those labels (e.g HFA) but I do wonder if it is perhaps unhelpful to use the term ASC / ASD as such a blanket term with no distinctions that might indicate the capacity of an individual to live an independent life.

PS Neurotribes is in my book queue
PPS my son is loving Atypical on Netflix