To feel shaken by a dirty phone call?

[leostar1994]

I think from someone I used to work with. I obviously have no way of verifying this but I recognised the voice. If it is who I think, then he is also a friend of my boyfriend of three years and so it's definitely overstepping a line.

I’ve reported it to West Mercia police and they’ve given me a number to call with a reference to quote should it happen again. I wasn't originally going to do this but after thinking about it for a couple of hours I thought it was the right thing to do.

It was a no caller ID number and he was whispering “do you like sex?” over and over. I asked him who he was and he said that it was his friend that had told him I like sex so I asked him over and over who his friend was and then told him to eff off and hung up. He called me back like 3 more times and I answered on the fourth time and said I would call the police and then he stopped whispering and said out loud “[my name], I want to lick your [insert word here] and [insert word here] in you” which really freaked me out! Obviously I wasn't sure if it was just a complete stranger but as they said my name, it must be someone I've met and as I say I have my suspicions.

I feel really quite shaken. My boyfriend was really surprised and comforted me. AIBU? I've never had this happen before!

That sounds really frightening OP. YADNBU to take it as far as you can. I hope they catch the bastard.

Of course YANBU to feel shaken, that's a horrible thing to happen - sexual assault by phone. Very sorry, and hope there is no recurrence.

I had a phonecall like this a while back, it was really freaky, woke me up at about 3am. I’ve got no idea who it was. He tried to call again after I hung up but I didn’t reply. I feel for you op, it’s really weird and incredibly disconcerting someone coming unto your personal space like that.

YANBU and did the best thing by reporting it . Thank goodness your boyfriend is supportive .
You did well to keep your head and to recognize the voice. .

This must break a law of some sort. So sorry this happened OP.

Get a whistle, and blast it down the phone!

Awful, well done for reporting!

I really wasn't going to report it but then I thought about all the other people he's probably done this to in the past or could do this to in the future if I didn't report it.

I think they must get a kick out of the shock of the person receiving the call. Horrible.

Ugh. Well done for reporting it though.

I thought dirty phone calls were a thing of the past. We used to get them on the land line in the 1970s. But I think probably would just dial a random number - it wasn't targeted.

I had a call a couple of weeks ago where it was all heavy breathing with a sort of "ssssssss..." at each breathe. It was weird - the electricity buzz you get on a phone call sometimes was silent, then it started with each breath and stopped. He only got two breaths in before I hung up, but he tried to call again immediately after and I declined.

How horrible for you, what a shock, and glad you could report. I’m hoping they can trace withheld numbers somehow. Did you tell the police who you suspected?

@Merename They asked if I had any idea who it could be and they took his name and the town he lives in down. They let me know that as the call was sexually motivated that a special team will be ringing me in due course and that they will then decide whether to log it as a crime or not. To be honest I'm not really sure what that means or what the next steps are but I definitely feel good about reporting it!

Poor you op . Sending you love. It's so shocking when it happens. I had one about 20 years ago. No mobile then just some random idiot probably. It really shook me up. It was very common back then and keeping whistles by the phone was quite normal

I hope the police manage to trace him. It's such a vile thing to so.

Hope your feeling okay now - hopefully it will deter them from calling again as you’ve reported it.

Last year I was burgled and stupid enough to put a note up in my small block of flats (6 other apartments). I started to receive dirty calls - up to 20 a day from a withheld number stating my full name and flat number threatening to rape me.

*do

Unfortunately which how badly police are stretched you probably won't get a good outcome. If you have an iPhone you can block no caller ID phone calls. You could put them on loudspeaker and record the calls from another device but that still might get you nowhere. The person going this is an absolute cunt. I hope you're okay OP

Fuck, you poor thing. It's unbelievable how horrible and unsettling it is until it happens. I was very shaky and panicky, perhaps because of past trauma but I feel like anyone would be as it makes you feel so taken aback and vulnerable. Well done for reporting it and I hope whoever it was they can do something, scaring the shit out of him as a minimum. Make sure you have lots of water if you're shaky, I always forget to drink anything when I'm anxious and it makes me faint x

*with

I've had one by a young guy who later became the postman for the area I worked in. He pretended he needed a computer fixed in person and when he phoned, then asked me if I had hair on my "fanny".
I was a teenager and was totally naive and shocked. When he turned up as the postman years later (I'd only been doing an afternoon stand in work for a relative but went back to work there for a few months in my twenties) ok really should've reported it by was still so embarrassed and cringing i just swept it under the carpet.

My eldest sister had several calls repeatedlywhen she was working in a petrol station/shop late when she was a student, I think he was caught. He lived nearby and was watching her through the window at work.

My Mum was not only the victim of one but because he was going through the phone book (back when everyone had landlines and most were listed in the directory) by name and asked her "is this Mrs. Surname?" before he got obscene - she thought she was being called with bad/serious news in the early hours and was shook up by that alone. He then went on to say "my trousers are down and my cock is out" - poetic stuff.

That three women within my family alone - and I doubt we're exceptional so goes to show how common i men like this are.

Op in your case, him knowing your name is significant and it Def needs investigated. Your dp needs to look into your suspicion that it's a friend of his.

It's totally natural that you're shook up.

*That's

Last year I was burgled and stupid enough to put a note up in my small block of flats (6 other apartments). I started to receive dirty calls - up to 20 a day from a withheld number stating my full name and flat number threatening to rape me.

Fkg 'ell.

You can block calls from your landline, if you Google block nuisance calls, I think it is *77 and it blocks withheld numbers ( I'd double check this )

@Stressedout1980 I am so sorry that this happened to you. Did you report this to the police or did you suffer in silence? I can't even imagine how frightening this must have been.

That's awful.
Get your bf to phone him on speaker and see if it's the same voice? You'll know if he starts acting odd if it was him and he'll soon be scared as he will know that you know it was him

The other thing is that you wonder is this the thin end of the potential wedge for men like this. It seems so important they're reported and it's recorded so a picture of their behaviour can be built up if they're reported for the same or worse by other women.