To ask how you got your DC to walk rather than use the buggy? *Potential autism*

[Alexandra80]

Back story; DS is 2 and a bit. He has suspected autism and is on the list for an assessment. He's delayed socially and a little physically. I.e.didn't walk until 22 months. His speech is very behind. He has a few word approximations but generally his understanding is quite limited and its hard to get him to understand tasks or suggestions. We're obviously working on all that with speech therapy and the like.

He's a lovely happy little boy. Until it comes to walking anywhere. He loves to be active but he will NOT hold hands. We're trying reins too and it's fine until he wants to go in another direction. He also has no sense of danger so if it was up to him he'd wander into bodies of water, nettles, the road... Everything. Today we took him for a walk as we're trying to help get him used to walking along with us instead of tbe pushchair and he tried to kneel in a deep puddle and splash his face with the water and had a meltdown over not being allowed to. And obviously he can't understand the reason or where we're trying to go. I thought it would be OK because he could kind of run around safely but there's nowhere that's 100% free of danger. Once he's set off that's game over as he's so worked up so we went home after 3 mins of getting to this place we were going to walk around. I had a little cry in the car on the way back. Pathetic I know but wtf do we do? Do we accept he just isn't able to understand what's required of him to do it yet and wait for his language/understanding to improve or keep pushing?

(I have a 9yr old DS who loved to bolt and thought I knew what I was doing but I'm at a total loss and Google is useless on the subject).

Also know lots of children with asd and lots of those needed pushchairs for safety and even once out of them need close monitoring

Thanks

Can you borrow a buggy board to see if he likes it? It could help him transition from sitting in the buggy.

I kept the pushchair till around 4 tbh, but let them out to run around in park or safe areas when we werent time limited. My kids are aspie and all of them runners, so pushchairs and reins were absolutely necessary. I didnt drive at that time and had a very small age gap, so letting them walk everywhere was not practical

Dd1 was in the buggy until nearly 4 - lots of reasons - late walker bit otherwise nt. you have to do what's right for you op but it sounds like really the biggest issue here is you feeling pressure/confusion/more pressure/worry/stress. I really feel for you. It sounds like a very tough time x

Are out near a beach? That's a good springing safely location from what I recall from my dc.

I really wouldn’t worry about it yet, when he’s 3 have a rethink, for now just let him experience from the buggy, work on his communication skills and being safe in more contained environments like playparks. Walking along holding hands does not need to be a priority yet. Don’t make life harder than it needs to be. 😊

Don't worry about it yet OP and ignore anyone who says what you DS "should" be doing - they're not the ones parenting him, you are. He's still only little and it's very common for children to still use a pushchair at his age, my youngest is almost 3yo and still uses hers especially if we need to be somewhere by a set time and I don't have all day to wait while she looks at every leaf and studies all the parked cars.

Are there places you can take him to ie:country parks where he could just run and do so in safety. He's large for his age and I'd imagine it would be good for him. My toddler used to always try to walk into puddles and we put Wellingtons on her and let her go ahead.

There are a lot of people out there who think that you need their advice but in my experience those who comment the most are those with the least advice that I'd want to take. Have faith in the fact that you know your son best, stop giving a rat's ass about what clueless strangers think and act on your own instincts. You sound wonderful to me and like a parent who wants their dc to progress and who will do what it takes for that to happen. All of our dc are different and have different needs and while I would agree that it takes a village sometimes we also need the peace of a secluded island!!!

You need some proper reins. The backpack ones are nice but not suitable when they’re at that stage (which IMO is quite normal).

I used reins on my twins till they were nearly 4 as they were bolters. We’d put the reins on them wherever we were (including parks) as it just made them easier to grab! DS3 however was quite happy to hold hands so didn’t really need them.

I was also still using the buggy for them as it’s not particularly easy to have to walk everywhere with toddlers when you don’t have a car. The local Tesco might only be a 20 minute walk away but with small children that easily becomes an hour each way plus shopping time.

So I guess what I’m saying is get proper reins, and carry on. You’re doing a great job I promise

Somewhere there will be a tennis court or safe park with good visibility and no hidden exits for bolters - you just need to find it. A SEN playgroup or even local FB Sen group would have parents in it that know, because they've been there! Then stuff everyone else and use reins or the buggy or whatever is safest and works for you.

A good thing about these threads is they teach me I have a thick skin (I am not the wimp I thought I was).

Mine didn't have autism.
They used the buggy as late as I could keep them in there. Zero regrets. Zero harm done by that. Dd still cadged occasional lifts when she was 6yo & I had no problem with that too. Lots of "It made my life easier" and that's good enough for me.

My DS is also 2 and a bit and I'm literally in the exact position you are. On a waiting list to see speech and language, seen the EYP about his speech until we can get appt, everything you've said is our life atm. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone and feel free to PM if you want to chat.

I’ve found that those whose DC walked from 2 on the dot without argument were often walking from the front door to the car and from the car park to whatever playground or indoor place they were going to. My NT 2 and a bit year old goes straight in the buggy as soon as we have to go anywhere of any distance because I don’t drive and, tbh, it makes my life a lot easier. She gets plenty of exercise in other ways. Do what you need to do to keep your child safe and yourself sane.

I have never seen it in this country, unfortunately, but when DS (many ASD traits, but NT) was a toddler we lived abroad, and they used to open a local hall / gym / large indoor space up every day in the bitter winter. Basically it was a place for small children to run, safely, with padded edges and secure doors. I'd rock up, set DS going like a clockwork toy, and let him run his way to exhaustion (he had two speeds - go at a million miles an hour, or stop).

Still remember it fondly ...

(When we returned to this country, and had a fenced garden, I quite regularly used to open the back door and say 'Do running', for exactly the same reason.)

This sounds pretty normal tbh. You could try a bike or scooter? Might be more fun than walking. If it's exercise you are looking for try a park or walking path. My son is 2.5 and happy to cycle anywhere. He's ok walking but if I have to go a certain direction or need to be quick, he goes in the pushchair.

My DCs had the buggy avaliable until they were 4 before they were ready to go without completely.

It turns out one has high functioning autism, but at 2-3 he just presented as a particularly tantrumy toddler with a slight delay on speech. The thought vaguely flitted through my mind then, but I didn't have serious concerns until he was 7.

The other is NT. Was a bit ferral. Still found the buggy handy for longer walks/ times when pace mattered or he was tired.

Parent the child you have. 2y is still perfectly normal for regular buggy use, especially for substantial/ purposeful amounts of walking anyway, let alone when additional needs are becoming apparent.

StrawberryIsMyJam
Mine were out of the buggy and walking with reins at two.
I simply put the buggy in the shed and told them that they were walking. No arguments.
Hahaha....this has to be the most pointless post on the thread.

@Alexandra80 we still use a buggy sometimes for ds who is 9. It was issued by Wheelchair Services, but before this we used a Mountain buggy which was great.

I work in a preschool and most of the children still use buggies (with or without additional needs) One child I work with who has autism uses a wrist strap rather than a buggy or reins, his mum says it worked better than either.

Ignore those who dont understand, do what works for your child and your family.

My ds has been diagnosed at 4 and was in his pushchair until just before 4. We have a bike trailer that we used over the summer similar to this

www.amazon.co.uk/SAMAX-Children-Trailer-Stroller-Suspension/dp/B00FDUUWU0?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

All of my children ended up going in it and the dog. Definitely not public transport friendly but will use again next summer as it was great having somewhere to put bags and snacks

Our ASD/SLD/deaf son is 10 and we still use a disability buggy for him on most occasions. If he's not sat in it, he's walking holding one of our hands; but then buggy comes too so that there's a safe option should we get into a stressful situation (for him or for us!) It's only really in this last year that he's become happy walking and holding hands, previous to this he'd pull away and run off, or sit down and refuse to move. At some point soon he'll grow too big for this buggy and we won't go down the route of a wheelchair, so he'll have to walk or not go anywhere. I'm hoping at that point he'll be happy with a wrist strap (and not have a meltdown about that like he did last time we tried!) Ah, life is fun with an autistic kid, isn't it

He's not physically ready for either. I could try a buggy board at some point to accustomise him to it better when he's more ready. Thanks for the suggestion.

lljkk tbf I do have my own mental health stuff going on. Long running anxiety being one of them. Side effect being I find it hard to tell what's worth getting het up about. It's bloody annoying but that's why posting sometimes helps. Its reassuring.

cantkeepaway that sounds perfect haha. I do take him to soft play for that reason.

Thanks ruby it's definitely not just you!

Thanks for the replies. I looked online but there was literally nothing hence posting. I'm gonna have a peek at the links

Why don’t you set yourself small but achievable targets for the day?

Go to a local field, have 5 mins run around, then go back home. Just because it’s 5 mins doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. Then over the weeks slowly increase the time you’re out

I have twins who are 3 and both autistic - they don’t understand any words. We just accept what they will and won’t do for the most part. If he’s happy in the buggy, let him stay in it for now.