To ask how you got your DC to walk rather than use the buggy? *Potential autism*

[Alexandra80]

Back story; DS is 2 and a bit. He has suspected autism and is on the list for an assessment. He's delayed socially and a little physically. I.e.didn't walk until 22 months. His speech is very behind. He has a few word approximations but generally his understanding is quite limited and its hard to get him to understand tasks or suggestions. We're obviously working on all that with speech therapy and the like.

He's a lovely happy little boy. Until it comes to walking anywhere. He loves to be active but he will NOT hold hands. We're trying reins too and it's fine until he wants to go in another direction. He also has no sense of danger so if it was up to him he'd wander into bodies of water, nettles, the road... Everything. Today we took him for a walk as we're trying to help get him used to walking along with us instead of tbe pushchair and he tried to kneel in a deep puddle and splash his face with the water and had a meltdown over not being allowed to. And obviously he can't understand the reason or where we're trying to go. I thought it would be OK because he could kind of run around safely but there's nowhere that's 100% free of danger. Once he's set off that's game over as he's so worked up so we went home after 3 mins of getting to this place we were going to walk around. I had a little cry in the car on the way back. Pathetic I know but wtf do we do? Do we accept he just isn't able to understand what's required of him to do it yet and wait for his language/understanding to improve or keep pushing?

(I have a 9yr old DS who loved to bolt and thought I knew what I was doing but I'm at a total loss and Google is useless on the subject).

Scottgirl what I meant was whenever a meltdown starts we ignore it as in strap him back in, push him home or to the car, and then calm him down when we're somewhere "safe" (car or home). But it's not the kind of tantrum that you can just ignore and it will blow over.

We tried the back pack reins once with ds (no sn) but I felt like I was going to pull him over. I got some from boots that are more like a harness that goes over his body then you have a loop of "lead" (one each side). Hes much more stable in them and loves walking about.

These are the ones; www.boots.com/boots-baby-padded-harness-reins-10271732

Mine were out of the buggy and walking with reins at two.
I simply put the buggy in the shed and told them that they were walking. No arguments.

Fannia it's a baptism by fire. I thought I'd developed a thick skin after having DS but I definitely have had to justify so much stuff at this point to random strangers that I think I'm just going to laminate a sign that says "it's not my parenting, he's on his own timeline and yes he looks 4 but he's only 2. Dfod"

My experience of children this age with asd is that there was no option but to stay in the buggy or use reins as they were just too unpredictable. Can you treat the 'fresh air' and the exercise parts of each day separately?

We used to go to SEN only soft play sessions which were brilliant. If you haven't already asked at your local children's centre about groups he might be eligible for then I recommend that too. Some have quite large spaces and they absolutely understand small children with additional needs.

Most likely, this won't be forever, it will just take him longer.

Do persist with going outside every day though. It's hard but worth it!

Strawberry that would be great if I could actually explain that to him

My DS used a pushchair until he was nearly 5. We let him walk in the park or other safe places. He's nearly 6 now and hasn't used the pushchair for over a year. We still have to carry him when we're desperate though.

We do still get out everyday and he goes to nursery which has a nice garden. So he gets fresh air and sunlight :)

I didn't explain, I told.

OK I'm glad that worked for you.

I didn't mean that you didn't get outside at the moment, sorry if it read that way! I just meant don't be put off by difficult trips (or judgy twats!)

Is there a local sen parents support group? They are really helpful for where to go locally, some organise their own trips and activities.

My son has autism and used his buggy as a safe place in public u til he was well over 5 yrs old. He was big for his age too and I actually had grown adults tell me he was too old to be in a buggy !

Let your child take the lead . If he wants the buggy then let him . He will grow out of it at his own speed .

Sushi oh no, dont worry it didn't. I was just saying he does still get those things so I probably shouldn't worry like I do and fuck the judgy looks. You can't win with that stuff anyway.

Fidgety I think that's probably the right approach for now. He likes the pushchair and loves being outside regardless of how that happens :)

Ah got you, thanks.

I agree with Fidgety, that's what I did too.

@StrawberryIsMyJam did you miss the bit where ops child only started walking at 22 months and is being assessed for autism?

And I will look into SEN groups. I'm just floating around waiting to see what happens/if he's diagnosed or not. I feel like a fraud going prematurely.

Sorry Scottgirl I did read my post back like wtf do I even mean there I'm tired haha.

Ha, me too! Permanently tired

Don’t fight it op.
I did and it caused me loads of stress.

I should have just let him have his buggy. It does keep them safe and contained and it’s not all about not wanting to move, it’s about feeling sheltered. It was for DS. We didn’t ditch it till he was 4

He only got into walking when we got a dog, and he was old enough to understand that dogs need to exercise and that’s the “rule” reframing everything as a rule was super helpful and I still use it now he’s 7.

Ds is 10 now and still needs to use a wheelchair when out and about at times, he was in a SN buggy until last year when we got a wheelchair for him.

Do what you need to to keep him safe and mean you can all enjoy time together.

. I'm just floating around waiting to see what happens/if he's diagnosed or not. I feel like a fraud going prematurely.

Relate so much to this feeling! Honestly the group we joined were so welcoming and completely understood that not everyone would have a diagnosis yet.

Phew. It's so nice to hear from people a bit further down the line. Im so glad I posted. I do think we should probably invest in a better pushchair just so that's not adding any pressure and we don't have to worry about it for another year or so.

Sushi that's really reassuring. Maybe I'll approach our local one and just try one or two drop ins. It can be quite isolating. I found a great fb group for people 'in limbo'.

Thanks for all the replies :)

Do go to the groups, I wish I had been brave enough to go when we are in the diagnosis process because in a lot of ways that is when you really need the support especially from people who know the way things work locally.

sirzy good point about knowledge of how things work locally. It seems different for each county. It would be worth it even for that. But I'd love to meet some other parents in the same boat too. I need to get over my own social anxiety and bite the bullet really.

On the plus side DS is very happy most of the time and is making progress, just at his own rate :)

If he’s a runner I’d leave him in there as long as possible. My brother has asd and was a runner and was in a sen one until eight for his safety. My son has asd too and not a runner so was in one until two ish as we mislaid our buggy. Lots of NT kids are in buggies at 2/3 anyhow too