To wonder at what age is deemed too old to be living at home

[busyweeks78]

A lot of my friends aged between 23-28 still live at home is this uncommon. Is there an age where living at home is deemed socially unacceptable?

Unless for financial reasons or emotional hardship I’d say maybe 21? If you have a good job but you’re not saving then get out and stop sponging. It’s different for people saving for a deposit though.

It's never unacceptable, it's their home.

I think it's one of these situations which very much depends on the circumstances. I was chomping at the bit to leave at 17, not for any negative reason whatsoever, I was just very ready to go off and have my own adventure and make things happen. What I think is unhealthy is when adults become 'adult children' living at home. If your parents are taking care of you in ways as if a child and asking if you could please be home by a certain time or clean your room, things are not going in a healthy direction. If grown adults who happen to be related in a parent - son / daughter way are house-sharing in a way that suites them, getting along well, respecting boundaries, acting like and treating each other like adults then, fine, all is good.

I've told my DD she's welcome to live at home during her 20s, when she's likely to be going to uni, travelling and working away. I want her to consider our home as her permanent base while she sets herself up. She's 11 and already helps with cooking, cleaning and shopping. There's a big difference between bludgers and adult kids who are sensible and independent.

Housing costs are outrageous in Australia, especially Sydney and Melbourne. In 1989, in Syd, I was paying $100 rent for a dark, mouldy share-house out of $185 pay from a full-time job. Thank goodness my parents let me go home to save up for a while.

I moved out at 18 but due to a change in circumstances I moved back in with my parents at 30. Although grateful that I had that safety net, I was dreading it because there is so much stigma attached to living with parents at that age... but I loved every second of it! I was also able to save up for a deposit for a flat in the time I was there which I never would've been able to do had I continued to rent privately by myself (expensive part of SE).

Do what works regardless of age, but if over 18 I think it is important to be contributing in some way to the household (financially or otherwise) and making sure you aren't living as a child (eg. expecting your parents to cook, clean, budget etc for you) or family relationships could soon sour and you'll be screwed when your parents are suddenly at a point where they can't do/don't want to do those things for you anymore and you have no idea how to function in the adult world.

I lived at home ( with my grandparents ) until I got married at the age of 25. I could have moved out but renting was dead money and GP's were wonderful. My granddad was an inventor and used to do the London to Brighton in a steam car. I cried my eyes out when I left too.

I think over 30 is unusual (and over 25 would have been unusual a decade or more ago).
I know someone living at home who is 41 and does not know how to use the washing machine.

I think it’s just one of those things that has changed a lot over time – the same way ‘internet dating’ used to be seen as not very socially acceptable, but using an app now is totally normal – and similarly something that has changed as society has changed. I've spoken to a contact who works at one of the big accountancy firms and they're having difficulty finding graduates who can afford to live in London even on their generous starting salaries, for a start.

I think these days it's not usually a sign of someone being unmotivated or dependent – they may not have a job that covers rent and travel, they may want to save up for a deposit for a few years, they might not want to share a house with peers so are waiting until they can afford to rent somewhere just for themselves.

I wouldn’t now bat an eyelid at anyone in their 20s living with parents – over 35 I might expect someone to be well-paid enough to manage alone, but you never know what’s going on in the background, or I suppose you might move back home at any age to save some money if you have otherwise been renting.

I expect our kids may have to live with us as adults if they stay in London and I’d like to create the environment for them to do so without us being under each other’s feet – we’re looking at having a loft extension not because we really need the room now, and in part because the roof needs big repairs anyway, but also because I fully expect at least one child is going to have to live with us for some time as an adult and it creates a better space for that.

Any age as your home is your home.

There is no age boundary as long as the adults all respect each other.

I know plenty of families where adult children from 18 to late 40s live with their parents.

In many cases the children have left home and moved back in mainly for financial reasons but I do know cases where one or more parent has moved in with their children. The parents are not incapable of living alone but they simply don't want to.