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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder at what age is deemed too old to be living at home

110 replies

busyweeks78 · 01/01/2020 14:35

A lot of my friends aged between 23-28 still live at home is this uncommon. Is there an age where living at home is deemed socially unacceptable?

OP posts:
Itsjustmee · 01/01/2020 18:46

@huggybear
If my son wanted to save then that’s down to him . He’s a grown man he can decide on what to do with his money

I don’t need rent money from him I’m relatively well off with no mortgage
He’s not in debt . I think he has a few grand saved up
He’s just inherited half of my parents house with my sister . And when my father passes he will get the rest so he will have the best part of 300k to buy himself a property with ( and yes his inheritance can only be used to buy property with)

BraveSpiritKindHeart · 01/01/2020 18:47

My fathers uncle is 70 and still lives at home. He's never left. He looks after his parents now. It all works for them. He led an independent life with a good job and active socially. He just never left home.

SimonJT · 01/01/2020 18:51

I was thrown out at 17, far too early to be independent.

My son can live with me as long as he wants, nothing odd about living with your parents.

ddl1 · 01/01/2020 18:53

For most people in this situation, it's not a question of 'when am I too old to live at home?'; it's a question of 'when and how can I afford a place of my own?'

ddl1 · 01/01/2020 18:54

In any case, in many countries and cultures it's the norm for different generations to live together.

Lolichi · 01/01/2020 18:56

I’m 50 and had to move back in with my mother to care for her when she was diagnosed with dementia. Everyone’s reasons are different. It’s a fucking depressing situation. Please don’t make it worse by judging us.

dirtyrottenscoundrel · 01/01/2020 18:59

Leave home when you’re ready.
I know plenty of people in their 30’s still living with their parents ( I know 2 men who never left home at all )

PurpleFlower1983 · 01/01/2020 19:03

I know lots of late 20 year olds who still live at home, when I was that age pretty much all of my friends had moved out by their early 20s. It’s much harder to get on the property ladder now I think.

happyandsingle · 01/01/2020 19:04

My dd can live with me as long as she likes.
I think its mean to make people feel bad if they can't move out at a certain age.

WorldsOnFire · 01/01/2020 19:08

Totally depends on area/circumstance.

In London - Easily acceptable until mid 30’s
In other expensive areas - Around 30
In less expensive areas - Probably Mid 20’s.

What matters most is circumstance. Living independently is not a reflection of financial security so any ‘stigma’ associated with it is pointless.

A 35 yo living at home but independent, with a decent job and £30K+ in savings for a deposit is far better off than a 25yo with two kids renting a HA property and barely scraping by each week.

misspiggy19 · 01/01/2020 19:08

Over 35. All the people i know that lived at home in their 20s did the smart thing and saved for a good house deposit.

Purpletigers · 01/01/2020 19:09

Very very common in Ireland , both North and South . Many young people return home after university until they get married .

OhWellThatsJustGreat · 01/01/2020 19:13

It's a difficult one, I moved out at 22, db went to uni at 18 and didn't go back home.
DH was 24 when we moved into our first flat. A year later we got our mortgage. Sil is 34 and has just bought her first home and is moving out of pil for first time, she's done it alone after 6 years of hard saving, she's got a tiny mortgage.

I have friends and colleagues varying from 25 to 40 who live at home for various reasons.

Hollyhobbi · 01/01/2020 19:40

I moved out at 18 to start training as a nurse. My 21 year old dd has just turned 21 and is in year 3 of a 4 year university course and the campus is about 10 miles from our house. She is despairing of ever getting her own place! But we live in Dublin so rents are mental and unless the housing market collapses due to Brexit she will have to move miles away from home o afford anything decent. Or wait til I pop my clogs and she and her sister can sell my house and use the money to buy their own!

Whoops75 · 01/01/2020 19:43

24 out the door

I moved out at 20
My 2 Ds moved out at 21

lljkk · 01/01/2020 19:43

Am thinking my 64yo aunt lived with Grandma. And had done for > 25 yrs. Nobody saw this as a problem. We were grateful they could help each other out.

MiniGuinness · 01/01/2020 19:44

I moved out at 19. I know it is different now because the cost of living is so high, but I would be pretty alarmed if my kids were still living with me in their late 20s. It is a bit Mrs Merton and Malcolm.

catlovingdoctor · 01/01/2020 19:55

I just turned 26 and I still live at home because I'm studying. I will finish my course at 29 and then may choose to finally leave or may just stay a bit longer to save some money. I am in London so both rents and house prices are very high and it's not practicable for me to try to move out in the near future.

Lippy1234 · 01/01/2020 19:59

I have 3 DC and when the eldest was 23 it felt like the right time for him to start to get a plan for moving out. He moved out a year later at 24. My 2 younger DC are at university for 7 months a year and at home the rest of the year. I think they’ll move back home permanently when they graduate and then I hope/will greatly encourage them to move out by 24/25. That age feels the upper end of ok to me and for our family dynamics. My DC1 and I have a gear relationship and see each other weekly.
I left home at 19 and never returned.

dentydown · 01/01/2020 20:00

I wasn’t allowed to move out. My mum took a huge chunk of the money to pay the rent and I couldn’t save for a deposit or anything like that. I’m now the sole carer to my father and live with my kids in his two bed flat. Council won’t rehouse, landlords won’t rent to us!

bimbimbap · 01/01/2020 20:01

i thought from the title you meant how old is too old 🤦🏻‍♀️ i was going to say my grandpa is 95 and lived at home til very recently.

pinkyboots1 · 01/01/2020 21:49

My DP and his twin are nearly 50 and both live at home with parents because they're their carers, There shouldn't be a limit, surely as long as everybody is agreeable then there shouldn't be a problem

DieSchottin93 · 01/01/2020 23:58

I'm mid-late 20s and still live at home. I pay a token amount of rent to my parents, the rest I save up to put in my LISA. I've managed to save a pretty good amount of money considering I'm on minimum wage. DBro lived at home for about 4 years before he moved out and bought his own place last year.

For now I don't want to move our until I have a salaried job, plus my parents have said they'd probably struggle to sell our house at the moment so they're staying put. At least with me there they aren't rattling about in a 4-bed house on their own. I think as long as everyone is happy with the arrangement there shouldn't be maximum age you should move out. At the end of the day it comes down to personal circumstances.

MamToTeens · 02/01/2020 00:30

Mine will be gone at 18. They can go to university and have a house bought for them or they can find another way to get by. I’m a strong supporter of university so that’s what I’ve told them since before they were even in primary.

ForkThis · 02/01/2020 00:38

I moved out at 19 into a house share with a total wacko. Went back home 3 months later. Moved out again to my own rental at 20 and never went back.

My kids can stay at home as long as they are studying full time, or contributing fairly as they would anywhere else if working. Absolutely no partners though. My home is my sanctuary and the thought of sharing it with another strange adult makes me feel physically ill.