AIBU to think it is not ok to turn up at someone's house at 12.45am...

[MeadowHay]

...even if it is NYE?

In law turned up at our house at 12.45am last night with no warning. I was in my PJs in the bathroom, getting ready to go to bed so I just continued to go to bed. DH was downstairs about to come to bed and talked to them for about half an hour, until our toddler woke up crying so they left.

I think that is not ok at all and want DH to tell them so and that if they do it again we just won't answer. Or am I being like a NYE scrooge and should just appreciate the fact that we have family who care enough that they want to come and wish us happy new year?

I'd say it's fine for NYE any other night is probably a no

I'm aware of what first footing is, but wouldn't be pleased if it happened to me. I was born and grew up in the Midlands, but live in Essex now. It hasn't been a thing anywhere I have lived (thankfully), but my Dad was from Northern Ireland where he said it was fairly common.

I don't really do New Year though and am not generally a party animal. Maybe that makes me a poor judge.

@kingkuta any house which looks "awake" would be fine. You don't just first foot parties. Equally, you wouldn't go to a house that was in darkness, or where only bedroom/bathroom lights are on.

First footing is also known about in the Midlands.

My uncle was no good for this as he was a red head.

That would annoy me. I would have been in bed 2 hours by then. Why didnt you just say "sorry we are just off to bed" and usher them out? Making small talk for half an hour at that time of night!

I would be completely baffled if any family member did this to us and would assume something was not right.

But YABU.

DH did say he was going to bed but relative was all like "oh nooo we have come to see you sad face" etc so he felt he had to let them in so as not to be rude. Especially considering as I said, they are a good person and quite close and get on well etc.

I would like DH to speak to them about it because it is his relative and he also was not happy about it.

I can see from the voting and the comments that most people agree with me that I am NBU to be annoyed. That is comforting however I think I agree with PP that it's not worth raising with them as it's not like they have a habit of doing this and we all get on well etc. PP right I think that they did realise their reception wasn't super warm so probably that will be enough for them not to do it again.

We had quite a few lights on at the time tbf as I was upstairs in the bathroom getting ready for bed and DH was still downstairs tidying a few things away. So they assumed we were still up I suppose, tbf.

Relative does sometimes do things that I consider not great socially (particularly regarding families with young children - there is another family in DH's family with young children too who have had complaints with them about things like having difficulty getting them to leave when they want to put their child to bed and that kind of thing). Relative is a middle aged woman though with her own children so you would think she would be more understanding of stuff like that?!

I v v v rarely make threads on AIBU so have quite enjoyed this. Thanks all

We shoved DD out the door with a bucket of coal last night. (Didn't have any black bun in the house though!!). She thought we were bonkers and asked if it was for trick or treating😂.
Mind you I did keep saying at Halloween that she had gone first footing so the confusion is understandable!

The reason it should be a dark haired person is, historically fair haired folk in Scotland were vikings and looking for a fight! The coal is so your lum reeks! As in the old scottish greeting lang may your lum reek.