AIBU to think it is not ok to turn up at someone's house at 12.45am...

[MeadowHay]

...even if it is NYE?

In law turned up at our house at 12.45am last night with no warning. I was in my PJs in the bathroom, getting ready to go to bed so I just continued to go to bed. DH was downstairs about to come to bed and talked to them for about half an hour, until our toddler woke up crying so they left.

I think that is not ok at all and want DH to tell them so and that if they do it again we just won't answer. Or am I being like a NYE scrooge and should just appreciate the fact that we have family who care enough that they want to come and wish us happy new year?

Were they upset or in need of help?

Were they drunk?

I think it depends. If it was someone who needed help or something I wouldn't mind. Just for a visit, yeah, it's too late.

No one turns up at my house at that time of night. In fact all my family are aware that if they ring my phone/knock on my door between ten pm and eight am it had better be an emergency!

Unless they were in need of help/comfort then turning up at 12:45 is definitely UR!

Who was it?
What did they want?

First footing is a nice tradition - I'd assume their intentions were good even if it was a bit inconvenient. NYE is hardly a normal night.

The only day it’s acceptable is NYE but any other day obviously totally not on

If you’re in Scotland, perhaps a first footer?

A relative first footed you on NYE. Don't be miserable

In Scotland it would be a first footer.
If elsewhere I would expect some notice even on NYE.

I don't want to give too much info but it was a relative of DH's, with their partner. Not a member of his immediate family but a relative he is quite close to, and we do all get on. Their partner was embarrassed and said they did tell the relative it was not a good idea given the time. No they were completely sober, the partner was driving and the relative doesn't really drink.

FWIW I would feel the same if it was a relative of my own and I get on well with this relative of DH and their partner, so it is nothing against them, I just think its not ok to turn up at someones house at that time without warning!

Not in Scotland

Ah, I am just being a miserable git then it seems

They didn't need help or anything, they were just coming to say happy new year and visit.

It’s a bit odd but I’d let it go

I've never had a first footer in Scotland. I would have been annoyed too, unless they knew for sure you'd be up and celebrating.

Think l would overlook it since it was NYE

12.45 is a bit late for first footing. My family did it, back in the day, and it was all pre-arranged and happened pretty much straight after midnight. Much hilarity, one more drink, and people started getting kids to bed by 12.30.

An unexpected caller at 12.45 really wouldn't have been welcome.

I think it seems to have been a nice but misguided gesture. Although it was a bit annoying and inappropriate, I think you can feel a little flattered that they wanted to see you. But to be surprised by the interruption is not U.

I'm guessing they are first-footing. It's meant to be lucky for the recipient so their hearts were probably in the right place.

I think YANBU...I would not be impressed.

I wonder if they would have come in if your lights had been off.

Are they northerners/Irish/Scottish? I remember first-footing my neighbours the first year I moved south - and being baffled that the English were all in bed! Now I'm as miserable as they are!

Just overlook it. They clearly did it as it was NYE and are unlikely to do normally. Just make sure you stay up late next year or go to bed with your day clothes on.