To have been shocked at these women's meanness?

[BillHadersNewWife]

I don't go out much but a friend was having a dinner at a nice place...we're in Oz and it's hot so it was outdoors in a lovely environment. People can stand around in their own little pergola thing with seating before dinner.

There's lots of these pergolas with different groups all eating and drinking etc and I see two of the women in my group sniggering and pointing at another group. I caught their eye and they whispered to me that they had just been laughing at the state of "those girls" and how they're so young, they don't know how to dress etc.

The women doing the sniggering were my age...late 40s and the "girls' were early 20s.

I looked at them and they all looked absolutely gorgeous. Well dressed in long summer dresses and nice shoes/hair etc.

I was dumbfounded! Do people really do that? Laugh and point and say mean things about obviously beautiful young women?

I mean...I was lovely once too...now I'm passable but when I see younger women looking beautiful I smile and think how nice or whatever!

I don’t understand — what was it about the other women’s appearance that made them snigger?

I dont think its specifically about young women.

Some people are dicks they will take the piss out of anyone to make themseleves feel better.

I hate this. My mum does it all the time. We’ll be walking down the street and she’ll say ‘oh she’s too fat for shorts’ or ‘I wouldn’t wear that with no make up’ or similar and then days I’m uptight if i say ‘she is happy with what she’d wearing, what’s it got to do with us?’.

You’re late 40s and just discovered that some people are nasty to others?!

Has it also taken you to your late 40s to learn that you won’t call your friends out on meanness?

“Leave it out! They look gorgeous - and even if they didn’t, don’t be so mean!”

Yanbu Op some people just enjoy being horrid unfortunately.

Obviously feeling insecure around younger women would be my guess....

Yes some people are dicks.
I got looked up and down yesterday by another woman whilst I was walking to the toilets in the pub.
Dh met me after work and we called into the pub for a couple of drinks, it was early on around 4pm.
I have to dress nicely for work and had made an extra effort as I knew we would be calling for a drink.

God knows why this woman was looking me up and down but she gave me the once over from head to toe.

You’re late 40s and just discovered that some people are nasty to others?!

Yes! As I said, I don't go out a lot and these women were not my actual friends....just other guests. None of my friends would do or say that.

Horror Nothing! I must have looked a bit because that's when one said "Oh they have no idea how to dress!" or similar.

They were well dressed and suitable for the venue.

Yanbu. Someone else’s positive points doesn’t take anything away from your positive points. It is possible to both look nice and well dressed. Unfortunately not everyone feels the same and thinks it’s all a big contest and that by being a bitch, they have somehow won that contest. Be grateful you aren’t so unhappy with your own identity that you need to belittle others to feel something.

I was dumbfounded! Do people really do that? Laugh and point and say mean things about obviously beautiful young women?

So because two women in your group did this you want to know if it’s a thing older women people do generally?

This thread isn’t goady AT ALL. 🙄

Who are the 11% who thought that this behaviour is reasonable? And why?

I think there’s a definite condition of some women in their late 40’s onwards being mean and dismissive of younger women. I’ve seen it so much in my workplace. I wonder whether it’s because women tend to become invisible to men as they age and so these women are jealous of the younger ones.

@emilybrontescorsett I was with my mum years ago, and she was looking at someone with a really disapproving expression on her face, I hissed "Mum!" at her, and she said "Did you see that girl? Didn't she look beautiful? That outfit is gorgeous!" You can't always tell what someone is thinking!

Butchy I AM an older woman but I genuinely haven't EVER met another woman my age who does this. All the women I know aren't like that at all.

Age has nothing to do with it. People of all ages can be mean. These women would have been the same when they were younger too.

Do people really do that?

Presumably so seeing as though you witnessed it with your own eyes.

Butchy I AM an older woman but I genuinely haven't EVER met another woman my age who does this. All the women I know aren't like that at all

I know you’re an older woman - you said so in the OP.

If two BLACK/GAY/MUSLIM people had made such comments, would you start a thread asking whether this was a thing amongst (BLACK/GAY/MUSLIM) people generally?

No? If so, why do it when it’s women?

Dumbfounded?

You're not wrong. You really don't get out much do you?

I voted YABU because it’s not shocking at all.
Not surprising. Not unusual.

Jealousy, pure and simple. I bet you don’t get guys in their late 40’s sniggering at women in their 20’s or young men either. I’m 46 and look at young women and think how lovely it’s it’s to be young. Some women are and have always been mean and that just gets worse with age.

I'd have called them on it - I couldn't let that go - I'd have replied that they were wrong and that I thought the.young women were young and beautiful whereas in contrast they were a bunch of unpleasant jealous bitchy women

Worra no I really don't! I mean I DO but not in restaurants and bars...only with my family. I socialise at art and literature groups and clubs. These things are during the day mainly.

What is "obviously beautiful"?

I bet you don’t get guys in their late 40’s sniggering at women in their 20’s

No, at that age the men* are more prone to be trying it on with them.

*some menz