To have been shocked at these women's meanness?

[BillHadersNewWife]

I don't go out much but a friend was having a dinner at a nice place...we're in Oz and it's hot so it was outdoors in a lovely environment. People can stand around in their own little pergola thing with seating before dinner.

There's lots of these pergolas with different groups all eating and drinking etc and I see two of the women in my group sniggering and pointing at another group. I caught their eye and they whispered to me that they had just been laughing at the state of "those girls" and how they're so young, they don't know how to dress etc.

The women doing the sniggering were my age...late 40s and the "girls' were early 20s.

I looked at them and they all looked absolutely gorgeous. Well dressed in long summer dresses and nice shoes/hair etc.

I was dumbfounded! Do people really do that? Laugh and point and say mean things about obviously beautiful young women?

I mean...I was lovely once too...now I'm passable but when I see younger women looking beautiful I smile and think how nice or whatever!

Forgot to add, they judge on appearance because they've nothing else they can say about the person. At least the people they judge are probably nice people with good qualities, unlike them.

Prove the point that there is quite a lot of meaness around.

@Butchyrestingface
Why are black people drawn into every debate to prove some bigots point.
It's like the "black one legged lesbian" that was continually used when bigots also complain it's "PC" gone mad
Just stop

Seems very mean.

Especially compared with the UK where style in warm weather is rare, in fact often the easiest way to guess that a person may have non-UK heritage is that they have some style.

xJodiex I had this happen to me a lot in my first job because the boss fancied me (and I HATED HIM and just wished he would leave me alone)

I have to say that it never did knock my confidence because I just thought they were disgusting shallow bullies. Which probably made them hate me more because their tactics didn’t work. I left eventually, they still had to work with the sexist cunt.

I imagine most of us have had a good internal laugh at how others look; ripped jeans, thick slap, terrible fake tan, those silly painted on eyebrows, waxed chests on men, the 'recently-punched' lip fillers, frozen face from botox, teetering heels and so on.

nothing wrong as long as we keep it to ourselves.

generally someone with a 'sense of style' is someone with no other sense, because too much mental effort is expended on appearance leaving none for anything else.

@ForalltheSaints put the claws and spoon away will ya !

Why are black people drawn into every debate to prove some bigots point.

I said black/gay/muslim. Why on earth did you single out black?

And the point stands. I doubt the OP would have started this thread had two members of any other group made such a comment but since it was women, well, they’re fair game.

Some women never grow out of playground bitchery and a general need to be unnecessarily mean. Sad to say, since joining MN I have been more aware of this than ever.

Agreed @bringincrazyback!

@Butchyrestingface
Because I'm black and a woman and it's boring hearing this shit all the time.
I hate sexism but racism is far more damaging.

Interesting that this conversation , has in parts, become quite mean - which is exactly what the topic was about.
You are in Australia OP. I hope you are ok - the situation there is horrific 💐

I hate sexism but racism is far more damaging.

I think that is very much a matter of opinion.

A black woman who is subject to the double whammy of racism and sexism, I agree, has it tougher than anyone who “merely” faces one or the other.

But if someone singles out ONE minority group to make crass generalisations, I think it’s perfectly valid to ask whether they would make the same generalisations based on the behaviour of two members of other minority groups (and in this case, I listed three other minority groups).

You're not unreasonable. Occasionally I've come across women being jealous of younger women and it's awful. I mean - we've all had our day, these young women could be our daughters or granddaughters! Very unbecoming.

Glad you have risen above such things.

@Butchyrestingface
Women are not a minority and some of the most awful racism I encountered was from white women to do with my looks when I received positive attention (I'm beautiful).

Women are not a minority

Women are a minority.

some of the most awful racism I encountered was from white women to do with my looks when I received positive attention (I'm beautiful).

I’m sure that’s true. It doesn’t mean that women as a class are not a minority.

Women are not a minority. We make up more than 50% of the population. You don’t have to be a minority to be oppressed though.
Many societies have had a minority oppressing a majority. The U.K. did for millennia. That’s what the aristocracy did to the serfs....

generally someone with a 'sense of style' is someone with no other sense, because too much mental effort is expended on appearance leaving none for anything else

So a rehashing of the dumb blonde stereotype. Or real feminists don’t use make up. Or if you are groomed and polished you must have wool for brains? Really? We are still doing this are we? It’s 2020.

Women are not a minority. We make up more than 50% of the population. You don’t have to be a minority to be oppressed though

That is what minority means in the context, an oppressed group.

I’m not talking about numerical statistics here, of which women are definitely not.

Women aren’t a ‘minority’. Sex is generally split at around 50/50 in most countries.
Sex is a protected characteristic though and you cannot discriminate on that basis.

Butchy,
No, minority has a definition. You cannot change its definition by misusing it a random context.
Women are NOT a minority.
Oppressed groups are not always minorities and minorities are not always oppressed groups. You cannot use the two things interchangeably because they are not the same thing.

now I'm passable but when I see younger women looking beautiful I smile and think how nice or whatever!
Dint know why other people see this as virtue signalling of the OP.
Give it a go and see how much nicer the world feels when you raise people up instead of putting them down.

No, minority has a definition. You cannot change its definition by misusing it a random context.

It’s not my definition. Women have been referred to as an oppressed minority group for years. They are not a statistical minority.

For the purposes of clarity however, women are an oppressed group and I cited examples of three other oppressed classes.

I got looked up and down yesterday by another woman whilst I was walking to the toilets in the pub.

Oh God that might have been me emilybronte I do this all the time when I see well put together women! I don’t mean to but cant help myself , checking out everything from the swish of the hair to the height of the shoes, trying to memorise all so I can try to recreate for myself. I’m always in awe of a polished woman

This sounds like an "aren't women jealous and bitchy to other women" thread