To have been shocked at these women's meanness?

[BillHadersNewWife]

I don't go out much but a friend was having a dinner at a nice place...we're in Oz and it's hot so it was outdoors in a lovely environment. People can stand around in their own little pergola thing with seating before dinner.

There's lots of these pergolas with different groups all eating and drinking etc and I see two of the women in my group sniggering and pointing at another group. I caught their eye and they whispered to me that they had just been laughing at the state of "those girls" and how they're so young, they don't know how to dress etc.

The women doing the sniggering were my age...late 40s and the "girls' were early 20s.

I looked at them and they all looked absolutely gorgeous. Well dressed in long summer dresses and nice shoes/hair etc.

I was dumbfounded! Do people really do that? Laugh and point and say mean things about obviously beautiful young women?

I mean...I was lovely once too...now I'm passable but when I see younger women looking beautiful I smile and think how nice or whatever!

i got looked up and down yesterday by another woman whilst I was walking to the toilets in the pub.
Yes I’ve had to apologise before when a woman’s caught me looking for too long at her hair or eyebrows or coat because I’m trying to work out if it would suit me.

Sex is generally split at around 50/50 in most countries.

Yes. Here is a map of the world showing % women. So Red is where women are minority (lowest was 46%) and dark blue is where women are the majority (dark blue) in most countries women are a co-majority with men.

It's good to hear other people's comments. I did check myself in the mirror in case I had something inadvertently stuck to me, such as a post it note or my skirt tucked into my knickers 😂😂😂😂

@Whycantibetangy I always check out other people’s hair (women AND men), namely because I don’t have any. 😭

I don’t grudge them their hair - I just want it. ✂️

They're jealous over their lost youth and turning bitchy about it instead of sobbing into their wine like they really want to do.

Probably jealous.

I had a half day once and decided to pop into primark to pick up some bits on my way home. I was wearing heels and Hobbs work dress and heard a woman comment to her male friend "She looks ridiculous wearing heels during the day, does she think she on a night out?! Hahaha." Not really bad, but I don't understand why she felt the need to comment on my appearance. Surely lots of people who work in offices wear heels?

generally someone with a 'sense of style' is someone with no other sense, because too much mental effort is expended on appearance leaving none for anything else

This is such bollocks. In my book a woman who feels she has to let herself go in order to prove she is someone of substance is just as guilty of conforming to stereotypes as a woman who feels she has to wear makeup and be conventionally 'pretty'.

My sister does this a lot. Says people are fat when they buy lots of food in supermarkets for example (happened last night). I’m fat too. Comments on people’s appearances and it’s not nice.

I was wearing heels and Hobbs work dress and heard a woman comment to her male friend "She looks ridiculous wearing heels during the day, does she think she on a night out?! Hahaha."

Someone else who doesn’t get out much, obviously. (How high were the heels?)

I have noticed in London a lot of women dressed in business wear wearing trainers on their way to/from work. Wouldn’t say that was typical where I live but our commute out here in the shires is probably a bit little arduous than the average Londoners.

This is such bollocks. In my book a woman who feels she has to let herself go in order to prove she is someone of substance is just as guilty of conforming to stereotypes as a woman who feels she has to wear makeup and be conventionally 'pretty'

Agree. You can still care about the way you look AND be intelligent and deep thinking. Are people really so gullible to believe stupid ignorant tropes like this?
I didnt realise that greasy hair, wearing baggy clothes and not washing for days on end means you are a person of "substance" (well, you might be but that substance is probably BO)

@Mymycherrypie oh that's ironic isn't it, you didn't even like him and there they were hounding you because they liked him! Glad you didn't let it affect you. I grew up with an abusive mother and well, I never had much confidence in myself because of her so when other people judged me I really took it to heart in my teens and twenties. I never let things like that bother me anymore though

YABU to have reached your late 40s and not have realised that some people are just nasty, and that it has nothing to do with their age or gender.

YANBU to have been surrounded by nice people and not realised how some people need to pull others down to make themselves feel better .

I feel sorry for people like that, I love being able to give a nice compliment to people, how sad must it be to always see a negative in people. I always think they must be unhappy, Insecure and bitter to need to pull others down.

Carry on being nice OP, it makes a happier person IME.

Surely lots of people who work in offices wear heels?

I wear heels every day, every time I leave the bloomin house, their heads would explode with my sort of behaviour.....heels...in the day..every day ....heaven forbid!

When I was at uni there was a girl in my then-boyfriend’s friendship group who was very attractive and fashionable. But when she was at nightclubs/parties she would never dance, she would sit at a table and comment on what all the other girls dancing were wearing and tear them apart. ‘Does she really think she looks good in that?’
‘Her tits aren’t big enough for that dress’
‘Did a kid do her make up for her’.
Etc
I used to get really angry at her negativity and dread being cornered by her as it was such a toxic mood (which would damper my 3 vodka and diet cokes buzz!). But over time I realised I felt more sorry for her than angry, these girls were all having amazing nights having fun with their friends and she would only sit in the corner and slag them off. It can’t have been very fun, and just seemed like she was very insecure and unhappy. It’s a shame she felt she couldn’t just get up and dance too.

xJodiex my mum had issues too, she was always so negative about me - I think actually that’s what made me more confident in a skewed way. I was never ever going to let her win. I knew I wasn’t what she always said I was. I knew I wasn’t what those women at work said either. I just found them all pitiful. I was not even massively attractive, I was just young which made that guy even worse and they blamed me. I always did and still do have a huge inner reserve that makes me think fuck the lot of you.

@Mymycherrypie it took me many years to get to where you are/have always been but it feels damn good when you get there

It's disgusting that they tried to blame you for the guy's creepiness.