To have been shocked at these women's meanness?

[BillHadersNewWife]

I don't go out much but a friend was having a dinner at a nice place...we're in Oz and it's hot so it was outdoors in a lovely environment. People can stand around in their own little pergola thing with seating before dinner.

There's lots of these pergolas with different groups all eating and drinking etc and I see two of the women in my group sniggering and pointing at another group. I caught their eye and they whispered to me that they had just been laughing at the state of "those girls" and how they're so young, they don't know how to dress etc.

The women doing the sniggering were my age...late 40s and the "girls' were early 20s.

I looked at them and they all looked absolutely gorgeous. Well dressed in long summer dresses and nice shoes/hair etc.

I was dumbfounded! Do people really do that? Laugh and point and say mean things about obviously beautiful young women?

I mean...I was lovely once too...now I'm passable but when I see younger women looking beautiful I smile and think how nice or whatever!

I bet you don’t get guys in their late 40’s sniggering at women in their 20’s or young men either.

You totally do. Being an arsehole isn’t specific to any particular sex.

Sounds like playground jealousy OP - it’s sad to think they couldn’t just admit they were jealous but instead resorted to bitchiness!

So...two women said something bitchy-that’s it?

You also get younger women sniggering at older women. "Mutton dressed as lamb" anyone?

Hope that hasn't blown your mind completely OP

It's got nothing to do with age.

Often when someone feels threatened by another person they'll try to get others to put them down.

I have caught Dh, on occasion, remarking to me how ridiculous a young man looks in whatever fashionable attire he us wearing. I then remind dh that that's the biggest indicator of his age and that we ALL looked ridiculous to older people in our youth. These days, I'm just discombobulated by seeing girls dressing like I did 25 years ago. It's weird and leaves me drowning in nostalgia and looking wistfully at my East German army shirt and tie dye skirt from 1995.

@emilybrontescorsett I have a friend who does this and I don't think there is any malice intended, she wears beautiful clothes and I think it is just her way of assessing what people are wearing

OP, so all that’s happened here is that you’ve overheard two daft women with nothing better to talk about.

As a PP has already asked, it had been men passing comment on a younger man / woman, would you be on here asking, “do men really do this?”

People do all sorts of things in all walks of life. I’m not sure what you want people to say here tbh?

If your question / agenda with this thread is really, “Are older women jealous if younger women?” then I imagine the answer would probably be along the lines of, “sometimes, but generally they don’t give a hoot.” Will that do? You must know yourself this is nonsense.

How long is a piece of string really?

Often when someone feels threatened by another person they'll try to get others to put them down.

Often it has nothing to do with feeling threatened.

I HAVE heard men at work being rude about other men so this idea that men are innocent little lambs who dont behave like those horrible bitchy women is really just a falsehood

Yes it’s mean, probably done out of jealousy, but imo it’s always been the way. Some women are nasty. Let’s hope when these girls get to that age they don’t turn bitter too.

They sound vile OP. No need for such nastiness. Unfortunately it happens.

You aren't unreasonable but perhaps naive that people can be mean sometimes. Its no surprise really.

You don't have to go out much to be aware of it. There's plenty of it here on MN.

It sounds like you have a nice bunch of friends. Perhaps they're very mature and secure. Measured. Proper grown-ups.

What I want to be when I grow up.

And it seems that there are plenty of bitchy people on this thread as well, implying that you're naive, that you're trying to talk down women etc.

Regardless of age, you're always going to come across people who aren't very nice people. You just need to distance yourself from those folk and associate with genuinely nice people.

Maybe it's not unusual but that doesn't make it right.People,not just women,can be very bitchy.

Yetanotherwinter
"Ithink there’s a definite condition of some women in their late 40’s onwards being mean and dismissive of younger women"

I think some people like to take the piss out of other people and don't grow up.

I have DD's 22-34 and they come across other young women who seem to hate other women. You see it in the comment sections across SM.

"I bet you don’t get guys in their late 40’s sniggering at women in their 20’s"

If don't get enough attention from them, the Insults go from 'I wouldn't shag her anyway/she's just a slag' to the possible state/smell of her genitals.

Let's not pretend otherwise and whereas not all men will join in, no one, even those with daughters, don't shut it down.

OP I would have said something, I wonder why you didn't.

And it seems that there are plenty of bitchy people on this thread as well, implying that you're naive, that you're trying to talk down women etc.

Why is that 'bitchy'?

There's a massive difference in being bitchy and saying you think a grown woman (who readily admits she doesn't get out much to socialise) is being naive here.

Or are you of the thought that if a woman doesn't have anything 'nice' to say, she shouldn't say anything at all and that if she gives her opinion it somehow makes her a bitch?

Slagging off those young women was bitchy. Stating the OP is naive when she's made a naive statement, isn't bitchy at all.

They are jealous dick heads OP. They probably look like shit themselves. Ignore them and find better people to hang around with ...

now I'm passable but when I see younger women looking beautiful I smile and think how nice or whatever!

Excellent virtue signalling OP.

Everyone can be 'mean', men and women, young and old. If you're trying to tell me you've never judged anyone on their appearance then you are a liar.

BillHadersNewWife - no point wasting energy being shocked. The women who were sneering have no power over the younger women - they are just revealing their pathetic insecurities and making pillocks of themselves.

Not many people do this. But I have come across it a couple of times. I think it's down to jealousy.

I've got friends who do this. I think it's weird and unnecessary, but I'm guessing it's not uncommon.

MN has opened my eyes to the level of meaness around, and I am quite old. People saying you are naive to have got into your 40s and be surprised by it prove the point. I have met the occasional person like this but not many. They are usually insecure.

They're just jealous. I've had plenty women do this to me when I was younger, saw them do it or they were mean right to my face for no reason. It really knocked my confidence for years and years. Eventually when I was about 30 I realised they were just jealous because they were old and obviously never going to be ''prettier'' than me. It's pathetic but very common. I often wonder what such women would do if they had a life changing accident or something that meant their whole world was turned upside down. That would maybe shut them up.

People saying you are naive to have got into your 40s and be surprised by it prove the point. I have met the occasional person like this but not many. They are usually insecure.

Prove what point? That the OP is naive?

I'm 50 and like you, I've met the occasional person like that.

The OP says I genuinely haven't EVER met another woman my age who does this.